my girlfriend...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

my girlfriend left me
the excuse she used was that
she was leaving me for her husband
what kind of stupid excuse is that
of all the things to say
i mean
who in the hell
would ever believe that kind of bullshit
she is probably a lesbian

noah / from the album..."the second coming"

god told noah to build a boat
and that is what he did
and on it were all these fucking animals
at least that is what is said


chorus :
there were two monkeys
two spider monkeys too
two long haired monkeys
and lots of monkey doo
there were two really weird monkeys
and they were the best
there were two of everything
including tyrannosaurus rex

noah forgot the food
but that didn't really matter
because all the animals got eaten
and t. rex got fatter

chorus :

the weirdest thing about this story
or the lesson that i got
is how everything survived
and tyrannosaurus rex did not

chorus :

footnote : science and religion have been debating eternally about what the fuck went down and how long ago was it that it all went down...me thinks me smells a rat...fact of the matter is...people hide behind such irrelevant debates , more often than not , to avoid the real questions : how do i love people...and why is it so hard ??? get it ??? 

how to live forever

a young boy...dying...peace...quiet...all is well...down the hall...an old man...screaming like a stuck pig...not "going gently into that good night"...it is like the child lived longer than the old man...indeed...he did...here is the dynamic...at one point in time...the old fellow decided to live for himself...here...he went into what i refer to as reverse time...that is to say...the desire to live for self...consumes our spirits...hence...with everything we take in this context...the hole within us grows larger and larger...only love fills...only love makes us complete...live love.

kevin's fried chicken part 2

in the delivery room
pushing out that precious little
bundle of joy
eating a bucket of
kevin's fried chicken
screaming in between bites
give me the fucking drumstick
aaaaaaaaaaaaa
it is thumb licking good
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
made with the generals
secret recipe of 120988475665 different herbs
and spices
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

the shit monster dec. 17 2011

1-truth...2-challenged by : a) laziness...b) fear...and c) lust...3) the lie enters...4) part of you dies...5) become institutionalized in that particular area of your soul...regardless of your intentions...you are still dead..."awake oh sleeper"...1) acknowledge your situation...2) confess to others...3) turn around...4) let the situations and people that god presents to you lead you into wholeness...5) live an organic life...real / vulnerable / passionate...above all...be driven by humility !!!

jonah and the whale / from the album..."the second coming"

jonah he went fishing
he caught himself a  fish
he fried it up in a frying pan
he ate it in a dish

chorus :
that is all that happened
the rest is all bullshit
jonah caught himself a sea bass
then he ate it

he had a bottle of rum
to wash the sea bass down
he had enough of the bitch at home
he decided to leave town

chorus :

jonah saw  a whale
at the city zoo
he fed it cod heads and crab legs
he came up with an idea or two

chorus :

footnote : the fact of the matter is that mythology is never meant to be taken literally...the point that the writer of the myth is making is at the essence of what is going on...whale...no whale...the writer does not give a fuck...in the case of jonah...the message is obvious...there is no such thing as free will .

the point part 2

peter said to jesus..."you know when you said that before the cock crows...i will deny you three times...and i said i wouldn't ??? well , it didn't count because i had my fingers crossed"...POINT...there is not a fucking thing that we cannot justify if we put our "minds" to it...roughly translated...humility is the key to understanding and growth...there is no real love without it .

why do people go to church aug. 28 06

the fact of the matter is...there is never one reason for doing just about anything we do...which quickly brings us to religion...religion is basically what happens when we attempt to reduce god to a formula...and why would we do this??? power / addiction / ascetics / hiding...(specifically from sexual issues but not entirely) / and tradition...it is fairly obvious , actually...i mean...we cannot even reduce our relationships with each other to formulas and rituals...so how could we possibly do this to an eternal being...god comes down to just one thing...an extremely powerful force that is constantly compelling us to love each other...accept no less .

December 22

stupid / from the album :"the second coming"

do you know your husband married you because you are stupid
don't worry he doesn't know it either
but it is one screwed up relationship
sort of like "leave it to beaver"

did you know your husband cheats on you because you are stupid
he thought he could get away with it
right now he's placing the blame on you
telling some chick that you are stupid

did you know your husband is a homo
he gets angrier
and more pissed off at cupid
does not know why he is attracted to idiots
he always leaves because they're stupid

footnote : why people are in relationships seldom is what they think...it takes time and passion and love to sift through the heart and discern who one really is...then act accordingly .

the ass hole song / from the album..."the second coming"

you gave up non-alcoholic beer
and american chocolate
you gave up playing with yourself
but only through your pocket
you gave up late night t.v.
but only after you go to sleep
you gave up dressing when no one is around
just like little bo peep

chorus :
why don't you give up being an ass hole
that would make the world a better place
who cares if you are a drag queen
that don't fuck up anything
why don't you give up being a prick
to every one in your life
who cares about fried chicken
go and ask your wife

why don't you give up being an idiot
a mean selfish mother fucker
your daughter is going to bed now
go up stairs and tuck her
smoking cigarettes helps the economy
it's one of the best things that you do
i'd rather smoke the whole plantation
than be anything like you

chorus :

footnote : this song is not about anyone in particular...just a general statement of how the priorities of many...are completely fucked...and oh , yes...there is also the point of how religion makes small things important and visa versa...as an attempt to confuse the living shit out of everyone .

investment plan nov. 5 2011

our reason for living is to develop relationships...we choose by : a) self gratification...b) convenience...c) laziness...d) fear...or e) love...yet somehow we always believe we are the exception...that we can form a relationships with bad motives and have it go to a good place...result : a) blame...b) bitterness...c) folding...or d) mental illness...do not take the path of immediate gratification...instead : a) love...b) become aware that  love is flawed ...c) heal and grow...d) your life will reflect this more and more...e ) the love around us will reflect the love within us...AN INVESTMENT IN LIFE IS AN INVESTMENT IN LOVE 

bill...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

this shirt
worth about 80 dollars
was on sale for eight
because it had the name
bill
embroidered on the chest
i bought it
and told anyone who asked
that i named the shirt
bill

making hurt beautiful part 3

the point...is that in order to become fully human...you must take the road of becoming fully human...the road of self discovery...it is a spiritual path...and only the spiritual path matters...(opposed to one of rituals and modified behaviors that fit you into some artificial paradigm)...god is love...and love is everything beautiful...so you can just imagine what will accompany you alone the way...sure truth is more difficult...but what else matters ??? live luv !!!

making hurt beautiful part 2

truth is a beautiful thing...though it can hurt like hell...it eventually leads you into a place of joy...relationship...and security...point...a spiritual experience eventually leads you into a greater understanding of yourself and your sexuality...no more overcompensation...in fact...the time you spend with the ones that truly love you...is the time that strips away the pretension that life attempts the build around you...in other words...true  relationship is a form of prayer...and leads you into not only understanding all truth...but becoming all truth...love conquers all .

making hurt beautiful part 1

sexual development for most people : growing up in a homophobic judgmental environment...that is...north america...dynamics :1-the issue develops...cannot do a frigging thing about it actually...that is simply how children respond...they internalize and make it -whatever it is- a part of themselves...2-it finds new life...just like mold in a dark place...sorta...3-an overcompensation begins...there is a war within and some really dark crap makes its journey to the surface in the most peculiar way...4-the fruits are...self righteousness...judgment...religion...anger and bitterness...that is to say...this homophobic religious thing has nothing to do with god...and the bastards know it on some level...god is just a means to cover up their own homosexual issues...and...5-the person institutionalizes them self...no longer pliable...in fact...their attitude is reflected in their entire personhood...not only in the area they are overcompensating in...there must be an escape !!!

the apostle song / from the album : "the second coming"

the apostles liked to fidget with their nuts
one or two times per day
paul did too
in his canoe
and three of the twelve were gay

chorus :
it's the apostle song
take them literally
you can if you want but not me
everybody has a sexuality
even if they are from gallilee

john had a fetish for tits
tom liked to play with notty bits
judas was a perv
who had a dog named merv
and screwed him from the time he had zits

chorus :

mary got a vibrator from sears
sometimes it brought her to tears
james was self righteous
until he got caught
sleepng with all those other queers

chorus :

footnote : if you think this is about the apostles...you are sadly mistaken...the song is about the human condition...we are all just people...and we all have our own personal hang-ups and flaws...no matter how gifted or spiritual we believe we are .

an ode to the person who referred to my geese (cartoons) as turtles

listen , buddy...i know i can't draw worth shit...but here is the thing...they have long necks...walk on two legs...and have feathers...what ever in the fuck they are...they certainly aren't turtles...or maybe...you just don't know what a turtle is...which means...in all likely-hood...you are from outer space...and that means you have achieved warp speed...and that means...you have the technology to fry my brains...which brings us to the beginning...that being...did you like my turtles ???  

where evil grows oct. 22 2011

          
our environment will eventually make sense to us...regardless how perverse or bizarre it may be
dynamics :

1-garden of eden
2-enters the snake
3-snake lies to us
4-we believe the lie because of...a) laziness...b) fear...c)consensus...d) lack of love
5-institutionalize the lie
6-make others believe it...lies demand the conversion of others to reinforce them
7-society moves on

a prophetic voice must enter...society at large will believe just about anything
dynamics :

1-garden of eden
2-enters snake
3-snake lies to us
4-we do not believe the lie...a) love...b) humility...c) communication...d) community
5-organic....authentic life grows
6-truth needs no defense...nor does it impose itself...(no violence) 
7-individuals move on...most follow own inclinations

live love

the loons...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

the lake was calm
placid and still
the sun was rising
there was no wind
the lake was like glass
all was reflected perfectly
everything was peaceful
all but the loons
screaming obscenities at god
saying things like "fuck"
bashing their heads
against the rocks
and foaming at their mouths
those bastard loons
just would not get
with the plan

love and power august 27 2011

what do you do when the person you love more than life itself does not give a fuck about anything but them self ??? the fact of the matter is that most see "love" as an opportunity for power...to love someone in the most real sense of the word does not go over very well...it is simply an assumption that another is getting some neurotic need met...or is fulfilling some cultural ritual or another...love as an end to itself is a very rare and threatening thing...many dynamics , there are...not the least of which is exposing the emptiness of the average relationship...non-the-less...in the final analysis...all we are is the REAL love that we make...live luv!!!

Dec 11

the coverup sept. 24 2011

life craves balance...and to live a life of love is to achieve balance...however the dynamic of balance has no favorites...that is to say...if one strays away from the path of love...ones inner self will do anything it so desires to find its way back into balance...in other words...the arrogant and the perverse will inevitably gravitate t word self righteous judgement as a way of compensating for the individuals state...roughly translated...those fuckers in church who argue over the color of carpet that is going to be laid in the sanctuary  the next week...well...the carpet is probably not the only thing that is being laid...make no mistake...people always give themselves away...you just got to know what to look for .

the deformed sasquatch...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

there is a legend
concerning a sasquatch
in a place called boggy creek
this sasquatch however
has deformed feet
now the thing about a 9 foot monster
coming right at you
snarling cursing smelling badly
and shit like that
is you do not have a chance to count the toes
but if you did
you would find that
he only has 4 on each foot
which is weird
or probably is weird
hard to say really

jon and i

it was july 1992...my friend jon and myself were hiking through the annapolis valley...one says to the other..."gee would i love a beer right now"...we both agree that this would be a good idea...ten seconds later...i look down in the river and there i behold not just two cans of beer...but one of them is his favorite brand...the other mine...funny how time changes perception...until three years ago...i would have bet 100 dollars that PEOPLE left them there...now all i know is that somebody left them there .

you sept. 17 2011

maybe this universe is just a wrinkle...life is just an illusion...one thing for sure...what we perceive to be happening...and what is actually going on...have very little if anything in common...our destinies in this life are probably a mere reflection of our spiritual condition...our hearts are reflected in our environment...sure we can make choices...just like the insect that is chased across the room...he can go anywhere he desires yet inevitably makes the same conclusion again and again and again...chances are...we are not nearly as complicated as we believe ourselves to be...it just seems that way because the darkness excludes us from the truth...truth being...only love is real...and if that is not the path you are on...you probably don't even actually exist...jesus summed it up...if your heart is not bent upon love...then the crap that surrounds you is just about all that you are ever going to get...so...have a nice day .

get rich...

wanna know a way to get rich quick??? convince the world that you should only have sex in the context of intimate relationships...then offer a course on how to fake intimate relationships .

murdering love sept. 10 2011

what is morality??? it is a cloaking device to keep us away from the one and only question that matters...do you love another??? morality is there to confuse the issue...it tells us things are important when they are not...it suggests very strongly that a relationship can be sustained by subscribing to a somewhat arbitrary set of rules and guidelines...it cannot...and lastly...morality is a "form of godliness but denies the power there of"...there is only one god...and there shall be no other gods before him...no matter how well they dress themselves...and that gods name is...LOVE!!!

merry christmas...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

i secretly follow my father
to this local hotel
then took a picture of him
screwing some lady
i had it blown up
and framed
then i gave it to both parents
for a christmas present
they opened it up together
"merry christmas" i said

i don't think that
the effort put into the gift
was appreciated

addictions oct. 1 2011

we are all addicts : 1-we see...2-we desire...3-we take...4-because it was not given (natural to our situation)...we need more...5-we justify...6-we become addicts...7-we develop a new world to compensate for our situation...so CHOOSE YOUR ADDICTIONS CAREFULLY...being concerned about conquering your addiction is fine...however...it is probably there for a good reason...more importantly is how to manage your addiction in a way that allows you to still love those in your life...love...humility...community...will all help take the venom out of your addiction...then see what happens from there...live love .

the point part 1

so this fellow is in his room masturbating...next scene...10 minutes later...he walks out of his house and immediately sees batman...he says to the caped crusader..."batman...i was just thinking about you"...POINT...there is a reason for all our sexual attractions...once in a while it is love...which is a spiritual thing...but usually it has to do with unmet needs in our lives...the issue is simple...become more involved in the spiritual...and less involved in the neurotic .

December 3

the weatherman...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

first of all
the weatherman should not
have gone on t.v. drunk
and as for that forecast
about the temperature rising like a penis
then later in the day
falling like a drunken whore
and rain coming down
like shit in a crapper
well
among other things
it was wrong

advanced community oct. 15 2011

HOW TO FUCK UP A COMMUNITY :

1-function as a community...true love...opposed to rituals , politeness or control
2-desire enters the picture
3-not perceived as such
4-"obviously ", there is something wrong with the community
5-bastardization
6-separation
7-justification

there is truth to the above...nobody is perfect...we all bring neurosis into community
we must learn that our behavior effects all...you are responsible...this is advanced community

dynamics :

1-form a community
2-believe your needs are paramount
3-god sees things otherwise
4-you will see things his way...or learn that he has a big stick
5-enlightenment
6-new perception
7-real life

how to walk in joy

being human part 22

i remember when i was 17...on a camping trip...i developed lung issues...more or less...i was half dead...then suddenly...after two days of straight rain...the sun broke...my lungs, for a short season...somehow cleared...and there it was before me...squirrel lake...the most beautiful place in the universe...it is the times we suffer for life that complete us...it is the times that love costs us greatly that we remember...for me...nothing has been easy...having to fight three speech impediments...to become a professional communicator...was just about as easy as it ever got...we are no greater than what we have to overcome...when your responsibilities cause you to suffer...it is in that moment that eternity touches your soul...i have seen things beyond belief...i have lost all...and have gained everything in return...the less you desire...the more of the wonder of the universe you will gain...live love .

the reconstruction nov. 19 2011

the essential value of the human being that has not given their life away in the pursuit of love...is to reconstruct a false world around himself in order to maintain some sort of  illusions...it goes like this : 1-man has fallen from grace...(whatever that means to you)...2-does not give a fuck about his predicament...3-therefore has to change the world to suit him...4-applies tools to obtain this goal : a) fear...b) self righteous judgment...c) manipulation...d) deceit...e) allies...and 5-has a brand new universe...and this my friends...is what actually separates us from god...religion may attempt to convince you otherwise...(that is its soul purpose)...non-the-less...to reconstruct your universe...is to deconstruct your soul..."seek you first the kingdom of god" and...what will be added onto you...you will be added onto you .   

the phone...from the book / 'there is a fly in my dingo wombat"

i bought this wonderful phone
it was fantastic
problem was
not only did it not
come with a battery
but no battery
in the history of the universe
was ever made to fit it
so i invited people over to see it
and whenever they wanted to use it
i would make up some story
like your wife called
and said that your mother just died
or some shit like that
anything
just to change the subject

strange days

for whatever reason...i was having a conversation about the cuban missile crisis...get in the car a few minutes later...there was a song on the radio about the cuban missile crisis...two hours later...i have a very specific thought...in seconds...i see a car across the street with my thought written on the back window... next...i see a car sponsored by propeller brewery...look down on the ground...a propeller brewery bottle cap...what does this all mean??? you ask...is it a coincidence ??? there was this guy in a rock band once...he died in a motorbike accident...at the exact same spot where his fellow band member died in a motorbike accident...strange days indeed . 

do you believe in angels???

if you look in my blog archives...about a few months ago...you will read that a fellow , in the comments said..."nice to talk to you again"...thing is...i did not talk to him again...have not talked to him for a long time...now , if he is absolutely sure that he talked with me...(on the street)...but it was not me...then one has to ask the question...who in the fuck did he talk to??? 

all the world is a cult

the entire world is a cult...everybody has their little set of arbitrary rules that they violently impose upon others...our differences should be celebrated...not disdained...there should be only one law...love...the situation is as follows : 1-adam and eve...true community...2-agenda enters the picture...3-someone takes power...4-people are manipulated...5-ideas become god...(science / religion / sex / etc.)...6-conformity is imposed...7-institutionalized...despising little cults make us feel better about our big cult...much the same way sexually ambiguous people disdain gay people...so turn around...be who you are...and encourage others to do the same.   

power

if your last name is shit...and you decide to name your child...dick...you think you may have...on some level or another...exercised power over your child...thing is...all you have really done...is declared to the world that you are some ass hole...who really does not care about the welfare of your kid...and...by the way...there are a billion ways to name him dick shit without literally naming him dick shit...and you may fool a lot of people...but no matter how fucked up and confused this world becomes...beneath it all...the truth is still the truth .

chernobyle

a few decades ago...the nuclear power plant known as  chernoble had a meltdown that caused the entire area to be evacuated eternally...thing is...since all the people have gone...the plant and animal life has flourished unlike ever before...that is to say...the human race is more dangerous than a nuclear meltdown...just something to think about .

yeti vs sasquatch...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

it is well documented by science
that the sasquatch
by all accounts
has a larger cock
than the yeti
these dumb fuckers
(the scientists
not the apes)
seem to have forgotten
one little thing
it is colder on top of a mountain
than it is in california
have they never heard
of shrinkage???

the fingure

so there i am watching this movie on t .v...and there in front of me is this fellow with his hand caught in some sort of machine or another...just as this scene appears on screen...the phone rings...a friend of mine had just got his hand  caught in a machine...and was essentially the exact same injury in both situations .

the art of trust part 1

whitehorse page 9

i have a friend...he cannot speak very well...in a wheel chair...a wonderful human...but has essentially nothing people want...i have another friend...wealthy...articulate...successful and the like...i always thought it would make a good movie...the first friend interacting with certain individuals...then my other buddy would interact with them in the very next scene...my point??? people behave correspondingly to what they can get out of the situation... life is like one big job interview...and the more people want the job...the better they behave...which brings us to the question...who can you trust??? that is...who is your friend??? good question...let us explore .

how to find freedom

being human part 18

the fact of the matter is...in religious institutions that perpetuate violently condemning "sinful" behavior and suggesting that people who partake in such things are , more or less , on their way to hell...the exact opposite of their "goal" is accomplished...it works like this : guilt and fear perpetuate an adrenaline rush throughout the body...hence...one becomes addicted to the very behavior that is being condemned by the religious institution...for example...if homosexuality is being judged as something that will eternally damn your soul...the body will seek out the behavior that relives the adrenaline rush that happened during the proclamation of that particular message...in essence...we become what we hate...the events that perpetuate themselves after this dynamic manifests...we will discuss at another time...until then...just remember...only love heals...live love .

the church had life backwards

i am probably the only nude model / minister in the entire universe...strange...i mean...if god created the human body...one would think that these two occupations would sort of go together...the truth is however...all my minister "buddies"...seem to think that this side occupation is somewhat anti-christian...or something...anyway...life goes on...luv stu

the d .v.d. player...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

in a certain department store
a lady was trampled
by a mob
rushing to get
a 30 dollar d.v.d. player
of course
someone had the footage on video
and sold it for 32 dollars
but it came with bonus material
like when the manager
went to visit her
in the hospital
to offer her a bribe
and they ended up screwing
as her husband walked in

my girlfriend...

my girlfriend screwed santa

grade 11...she was my second girlfriend...it was the summer time...i came home from camp on my break and went straight to her house...she had moved to toronto...i went to see a friend and do just a bit of mourning...there i was informed that my sweet little girl had screwed some guy named justice in a closet at someones party not too long before...the next scene...1985...christmas time...shopping at the local mall...i hear..."ho ho ho"...i look over...and there is my good old friend justice playing santa for all the little girls and boys...that is...in so many words...my girlfriend screwed santa clause...and yes...i did laugh .

my little friend

my little friend

i have a little friend...she met this wonderful young man on the internet...they masturbated together in cyborg space day and night...it was beautiful...unfortunately however...his camera would not work properly...so...although he could see her masturbate...she could not see him...this went on for some time...vacations booked to visit each other...seemed to always fall apart...strange how things however can suddenly make sense with just one little piece of information...and what is this piece of information , you ask...lets just put it this way...he was a she...the end .

November 16

the third universe oct. 29 2011

god created this universe...implying that the spiritual is far more real then the physical...in our universe everything is slowly falling apart...it is its nature to do so...in gods universe...there is no decay...it is simply perfect in every respect...and this brings us to a third universe...which is where the spiritual interacts with the physical...point being...our lives touch another manifestation of existence...indeed...our lives struggle to find peace with all things spiritual...and we are to allow this unfathomable dynamic of existence to slowly  saturate our being...allowing true life to be birthed inside of us...we are to allow love to rule our fragmented and doomed physical bodies...live luv .

the idiot

the idiot

i used to work in the inner city...there was this one fellow who owed "organized crime" quite a bit of money...so they forced him to prostitute himself...this drug dealer...(his supervisor)...was talking to another individual while he was "doing tricks"...he eventually returned and the drug dealer asked him how much money he had made...his reply..."none..i was just building up our clientele"

Chucky

chucky gets a hand job

summer camp...the year...1987...it is chapel time...a kid in my cabin...charles...is sitting at the front with some young lady...a blanket wrapped around them...now , charles and i had a good relationship...he would tell me just about anything...and so he did...(for better or worse)...you see...apparently...essentially...during church...charles got jerked-off by this girl...i mean...what are you supposed to say to a boy under such circumstances??? so i said...not a whole lot...i would save it for later...much later...until 2007...scott and myself recorded over 40 albums in an 18 month period...one of which included the "hit single"..."chucky got a hand job in the chapel".  

the bad guys

the year...1983...in a line to see some movie or another...as usual...acting like an idiot...just behind me there is a lady...she is glaring at me and my friend...she identifies us as an inferior species of some sort or another...suddenly appears a gang of kids obviously from the not so nice part of town...they begin to swarm some other child not known to any of us...i save his ass...the "bad" kids all disappear...now the lady smiles at me...thing is...i had not changed a bit...the same person exactly...point...do not judge unless you got all the facts...and remember...all the facts hide the invisible facts under their sweaters...tread lightly , puppy-cats...give mercy and live love...luv stu

November 12

fuckeldee-duck-duck

i just invented a word...it is fuckeldee-duck-duck...meaning...it all went to shit...or...it all went fuckeldee-duck-duck...i want you to begin using this word in your every day language...and we can all sit back and see how far and fast fuckeldee-duck-duck travels around the world .

stories

the fact of the matter is that a persons life and all that happens within that context...will reflect just who and what they are...that is to say...if you follow this blog...and it appears that simply too many fucked up and supernatural things have happened to one individual...there is a reason for that...and the reason is not coincidence...have a nice day...luv stu

just outside salem

just outside salem...i am going for a walk...suddenly i feel , but do not see...a bolder drop just in front of my feet...then i look to a field on my right...and see the illuminated outline of a man bashing open the head of another with a bolder...seconds later...an automobile attempts to run me over...i jump into the ditch...thus saving my life .

the grapes

i remember playing in the yard one day and my father calling me to come inside...the only thought i had was that it was time for another beating...but no...he wanted to share some grapes with me...how screwed up our minds can become...500 beatings...then one order of grapes and you just want to forget about all the abuse...our needs want to control us...and they can find any excuse they desire...what ever your needs are...place truth first.

perspective

the moment that someone becomes more important to you than you are yourself...that moment is the moment you grow up...it changes ones perspective on just about everything...your heart and mind are filled with the knowledge that if maturity is not reached...someone could be hurt...point...love leads one into all spiritual and emotional truth.

ritual

the essence of ritual...is to contrive a formula that simulates righteousness...and avoids the realty of the situation... church is filled with rituals...and so is our heart...a true lover will pound away at these rituals...until...what is revealed is the person within...luv stu

trick or treat...

so these two 20 year old girls decide to go trick or treat...they come up to this one house...and find that the girl handing out candy is only 17 years old...they say to her..."aren't you a bit too young to do this?"...indeed...find out what someone is self righteous about...and find out what lies just beneath the surface...and as for those homophobic individuals...we all all know what they are thinking about in their spare time .   

god speaks

i was walking down a city street the other day...and i found myself passing a piece of plastic on the sidewalk...thinking nothing of it...i continue...then god speaks to me...he tells me the name of the person written upon the card...it is the same name as a friend of mine...so i stop...turn around...walk back...and sure enough the last name that is printed is the exact last name as my  wayward friend...as for the first name...different...but i look up its meaning on the internet...and it describes perfectly his present emotional and spiritual condition...and what does this all mean??? there is perfect order to this universe...and just because we don't understand it...does not mean sweet fuck all .

acin

just ran into this young lady with a beautiful puppy...she told me his name is acin...then explained that it means  ...strong and healthy boy...a few minutes later...i am walking down the street...and a man asks me how i am doing today...i reply..."i am feeling very acin today , thank you sir"...i think it fucked him up just a tad .

math

so what happens in life
is that an idea
makes sense to someone
so then they proceed
to bring it
into existence
thing is
just because it makes sense to you
does not mean
it is not retarded
but people just simply
do not take this
into consideration

in the grocery store

so there i was in isle 5...and who should be down that particular canyon of pickles and shit...but my old friend from jr. high...so i ducked out fast and headed for the cashier...of course however...within seconds my old buddy would meander his way directly behind me...yup...just like i knew he would...it is like this , puppy-cats...life is simply going to happen the way it fucking wants to...we can manipulate and control all we want...but...in the end...we will discover that our resistance was only like that of a pebble in a river...possibly diverting the flow for a second...maybe two...but that is about it...fight it or go with it...the universe is a current carrying us all to our final destination...so...live luv !!!

role reversal

so there i am...trying to help this couple through some personal issues...unfortunately...it was quite obvious to me that she was the man in the relationship...and he was the woman...question...should i say anything??? you gotta go with who you are and what you got...otherwise...all will be in ruins...now...i won't tell you if i said anything or not...but i will say this...sometimes people are open to truth...sometimes not...and only the wise will know the difference.

sex and humility

what is more important than technique??? get this...humility...instead of going to one extreme to another...that is...shame and guilt...or simply reducing sex to a biological function...humility allows for each sexual dynamic to be special...embraced...and an act of communication...wonderful...maybe you like ejaculating between breasts...pride will either not allow for the dialogue to take place...or pride will reduce this special interaction to the "matter of fact" category...humility discovers the moment...and allows for sex to be spiritual and emotional as well...take love...real love... into sex...luv stu

tennis balls

it was my turn to buy tennis balls...(to play tennis with , obviously)...feeling cheap and on a tight budget...i resented this acquisition...non-the-less...i made the purchase...and we went to the court...and there it was...right in front of us...a gaggle  of tennis balls...some of which were brand new...spread all over the court...and to make it even weirder...i had just been there an hour or so before...and there was not a tennis ball to be  found...all but one...you see , the week before...i had kicked a tennis ball straight up in the air and it got stuck in the tree...and there it was still...thirty feet above me...lodged in an impossible position...almost as impossible as the herd of balls sprayed all over the count .    

bed bug - the movie

i have an idea for a movie...the world becomes infested with bed bugs...and everyone is in hysterics killing them...so much so they begin to think all bugs are bed bugs...then all animals are bed bugs...eventually it comes to the place where they believe that people are bed bugs as well...which brings us to the final scene...one traumatized idiot rocking back and forth in a corner...holding a gun and waiting for the bed bugs to finish him off .

me and the jehovah people

i was 13 or 14 years old...the jehovah witness people came to my door and gave me one of their "how to live your life" books...inside i discovered a chapter on masturbation...i would spend months reading that chapter before i masturbated...the blood rush that it perpetuated made the experience just a bit better...point...no matter what sexual dynamic another is confronted with...scaring the crap out of them creates an addiction...not a solution...sure...masturbation is normal...fun and all of that...but how about the poor guy who is actually dealing with some dark behavior??? love is light...bring love to every situation...it is the only way that healing will happen.

how to get rid of bed bugs

easy, actually...like most of gods creatures bed bugs are lazy little fuckers looking for the easiest path down the road of life...translating this dynamic into action...one simply places a piece of clothing on the floor by every corner of the bed...they will perceive this as a much more convenient home that the last one...and will remain there until he either wants to screw or eat...this is where you come in...get a gun...a shovel...a bomb...or maybe even your thumb will do...lift up the clothing...and let the little prick have it !!! WARNING...repeat this process for a prolonged period of time...as you are not entirely sure when the last invader has left to see jesus...and oh , yes...one more thing...just to make sure some idiot out there does not sue me...i was just kidding about the bomb , gun and shovel...luv stu
 
p.s.
if he is hiding in the bed itself...you figure it out...but there are tons of options

wolfville

my partner in all these endeavors , scott , and myself...recorded this album entitled :"wolfville"...the story line is of the nazi's marching into this particular town to rape and torture...then murder under the light of the moon...what they are unaware of is...everyone in wolfville...is a werewolf...hence...the very time they think they are going to do some killing...is the very time they will all get ripped to pieces...point...we have no control...only the illusion of control...tread lightly.

October 25

a better lover...

this fellow...no longer "in love" with his wife...decides to meander throughout the internet to find a "new and better lover"...he does...within weeks...they decide to meet and exchange names as well as bodily fluids...so they do...at some fast food place or whatever...anyway...guess who his "new and better lover" turned out to be??? yup...his darling little wife...sometimes when you run away from something...you smack directly into the very thing you are running away from.

taking a friend to lunch

it was 1994...my life had gone to shit...what i had not lost...i was about to...i took this young fellow out for lunch...what he did not know...he was about to spend 70% of my life savings...in contrast...1985...i was making good money...every pay day i would find a street person and buy them a mean...and i cannot remember a single occasion...point...giving is always beautiful...but giving when you have not...is truly a spiritual blessing...live love.

the goal tender

he played 17 years of professional hockey
and let in an average of less than
two goals a game
he was great
and he was also double jointed
so much so that he could
suck himself off
which he did
somewhat publicly
actually
between every period
he never got into the hall of fame
they just quietly pretended 
that he never existed

paradox

have you ever noticed that...in terms of the spiritual dynamic of life...everything is actually the opposite of what it seems...allow me to explain...to truly get love you have to give it away...to find your identity...you must lose yourself in an eternal love....you are free...when you are bound to another...you don't get beauty by grabbing it...no more than you screw to become a virgin...indeed...life is one paradox after another.

my grandfather

i was on a friends front steps
and this lady passed by
and said to me
that she was sorry that
my grandfather had died
this was all news to me
so i went home and called my father
to see if this was true
all he said to me was
and i quote
"well , son
all i can say
is hell is now a far more
interesting place to live"

October 20

guns

my brother was a gun addict...in 1986...he shot a duck...went into the water to get it...and drowned...my father was a gun addict...just over a year ago...tired of his struggle with cancer...he shot himself in the face in the wonderful company of his wife...(if i had been there...i would have been killed too)...anyway...here is my point...everything that gives us comfort...is not always good for us...and everything that makes us uncomfortable...is not always bad for us...look around...see the light...dont define yourself by what you feel...live love...things will appear differently...luv stu

just came up with this quote , puppy cats...

people are easily lied to...but seldom believe the truth .

the greyhound in the cold

i was just at some young ladies sight...and i was reminded of last winter when i found a greyhound...freezing...waiting for his master...i took off my coat and placed it upon him until his "master" arrived...to my young lady friend...which is worse...being a slut or leaving your dog alone in the cold??? we all got our issues , my dear...luv stu

the accident

this individual is in a car accident...should have died but did not...becomes addicted to drugs just to deal with the pain...10 years to the day...he dies in another car accident at the exact same spot he had the first one...there is perfect order to the universe...and if we ever get past the idea that we should not suffer...it will be ours to understand...luv stu

gods will

in regards to community development...there is no right or wrong answer to how big or small the community should be...the issue is...how large is it supposed to be...that is to say...god guides us along the way...and...it is supposed to be exactly the people group he desires...notice how there is no room for generic behavior here...our responding out of what we want will only get us in trouble...we simply love...and see  what the fruits of the love will bring .

...this young lady...

i told this young lady
that i was working out
nearly every day
and my body was getting hard
then i asked her to grab my penis
so i could prove
how hard it was getting


she sprained her wrist

honesty

i cannot help but believe that we experience life the way we do so that we can share our history and help others to grow and learn...our natural inclination is to fearfully "cover our tracks"...boast about things we should be ashamed of...or...the ever popular...re-write our stories to suit our comfort level...if i seem a tad too honest...it is simple because of this philosophy-the first philosophy , not the crappy ones-and how much joy it brings...have a nice day...luv stu

the star fish on the beach

i once heard a story about a little boy who was throwing starfish back into the water from the beach...in an attempt to save their lives...an old man approached him and said..."why are you doing this child??? there are thousands of starfish on this beach...you will never be able to make a difference"...the little boy just smiled...picked up another starfish and replied..."it makes all the difference in the world to this one"...then he threw it into the water and disappeared .

October 12

corningwear

i was walking down a street recently and i couldn't help but notice that some individual was taking some corningwear out of her house and into her car...weird...i hadn't seen corningwear since 1970...but what is more weird...it was at that particular spot that i had seen it...there are strange rivers , little puppy-cats...and when you allow them to carry you...things just seem to line up in the most serendipitous ways...things like this are there simply to remind us that we are in the right place at the right time...that life is indeed coming together in the way that it was ordained .

moses the sperm

we wrote an album entitled..."moses the sperm"...it is about a sperm named moses...who attempted to lead all the other sperm into the "promise land"...however what actually happened was that he led them into the back of someones mouth...and from there...the plot thickens...that is to say...do not think that anybody actually knows what they are doing .

your wife

so you come home to your wife
and she had been making pudding
all the day long
which is fine
but she made 200 gallons of the shit
and there she is in the tub
rolling around in it
laughing and screaming
almost both at the same time
accusing you of screwing her father
which you never did
anyway
you think back to
the time you said
"i do"
and just how easily
those words left your mouth
...i don't have a point here
it's just weird
that's all

life is a paradox

have you ever noticed that...in terms of the spiritual dynamic of life...everything is actually the opposite of what it seems...allow me to explain...to truly get love you have to give it away...to find your identity...you must lose yourself in an eternal love....you are free...when you are bound to another...you dont get beauty by grabbing it...no more than you screw to become a virgin...indeed...life is one paradox after another.

april 1993

it was 1993...in bed with that "special person" after all is said and done...i am a bit awkward...i turn and say..."you know...it doesn't really matter if we believe in the loch ness monster...as long as he believes in himself"...she giggles and replies..."you should write a book of sayings like that"...so i did...then i wrote 40 or 50 more...(just self published)...anyway...my point is...a creative act leads to creativity...i really believe that the love involved helped to facilitate the whole book thing...sex can be selfish and sex can be selfless...they are not the same thing .

hitler

question...did homophobia cause ww2 ??? here is the argument...hitler was obviously gay...he was not , however , in a position where his sexuality could be celebrated...repressed crap always goes to a bad place...now i am not saying yes or no...but i am saying this...we don't just love people...we love their identity as well...we love all...and if we don't...we can't really say where it will all go...but be assured...it will go no place fruitful...luv stu

October 5

the vision

in the year 1997
of the lord
i had a muchly desired
vision of christ
though interesting
i must admit
i was a tad
disappointed
you see
our lord and savior
creator of the universe
didn't even bother
to offer me
one of his smokes

the faith healer

the year is 1988...i am in north australia doing "stand-up"...there is this "faith healer" in the audience...he is being manipulated and used by one of the biggest "ministry" guys in the universe...anyway... he grows up...gets out... and becomes a famous movie director ...but here is the real story...nothing changed...he went from one person using him to another...and this is what we do...you see...the real problem is dealing with the issues of the heart...heal the wounds and the geography will take care of itself...have a nice day...luv stu

truth

so i walk into this restaurant to meet this young fellow for lunch...he says to me..."guess what is new???" i reply..."you are moving away"...(i had intuited this about an hour before)...he immediately gets scared and tries to "cover his ass"...my point...instinctively...we all know what we should be doing...(if he were supposed to move...my words would have brought comfort...not fear)...just seek truth...nothing else...and truth will tell you what you should and should not be seeking.

dog story

so this couple was on vacation...their dog died...hence , the only way to bring it back home was to put it back into its cage...(before they boarded the jet)...long story short...the airline thought they killed the dog...and went out and found another that looked just like it...of course , it would be hard to convince them that a living dog could actually be their dog...you know...theirs being dead and all...point...one way or another...truth will reveal itself in its own sweet time .

the cd. shelve collapse

true story...one of my c.d. shelves collapsed...breaking 100 of  my cases...(yet only scratching one of my c.d.'s)...however...almost immediately...knowing nothing of my situation...a friend calls and tells me that someone had just given him approximately 100 c.d.jewel cases that he had no need for...point...life...be there in the right place at the right time...and how do you do that??? easy...love life...do not fuck it up the ass...there is a current that carries us...the currents name is LOVE IN ALL SITUATIONS... and it is best to not resist it. 

thank you

with unmeasurable gratitude...flarmology would like to thank SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY and O.K.GO...for their befriending the flarmology video channel on YOU TUBE...thank you so much!!! love stu and the entire flarmology family . 

dr .goose and religion

timmy : dr. goose...why do we have religion???

dr. goose : it is mans nature to control each other , timmy

dr. goose : it is also mans nature to not take responsibility for it

dr. goose : and that is why we have religion

dr. goose : in religion...not only can i fuck you around...but i can also blame it on god

dr. goose : i knew this guy once who actually believed god told him to screw his buddies wife

timmy : that is just terrible dr. goose

dr. goose : you are absolutely right , timmy...she was the worst lay i ever had

September 28

mid east relationship

a lady friend of mine recently had a long distant internet relationship with an individual in the mid east...love grew...things happened...and....as always...truth was revealed...the truth this time however was not what my friend expected...you see...the fine young man she was having intimate relationships with...turned out to be a woman...here is the shit..."cats and dogs"...don't try to be anything other than yourself...joy is only found in truth...and the truth about yourself...is all you have to give...anything else...there is no connection...in the immortal words of james taylor..."b.s.u.r.".

the quarter

there were these two men approaching these two boys on a city street...one man says to the other..."watch me show you how stupid the kid on the left is"...he walks up to him and says..."hey , young fellow...do you want me to give you this shiny quarter...or this ugly old one dollar bill???"...the boy replies."i will take the quarter , sir"...the man gives the child the coin...winks at his friend...and then the two of them are on their way...the other child scratches his head and says..."why in the fuck did you not take the dollar???" the boy smiles and replies..."cause that's when the game ends".

don't look through peoples shit!!!

so i am on a date with the ministers daughter...i go to the washroom to have a pee...i come back...she has a strange look on her face...long story short...she looked through my stuff and found naked pictures of myself...i am in deep shit with the church...next scene...20 years later...i am a nude model at the local art school...and guess who is paying good money to draw me...she walks up to after class...we both laugh...she says..."full circle , eh stu???" indeed...the universe does ebb and flow...we do" reap what we sew"...be careful , little puppy-cats...karma may not be instant...but it sure as hell is...luv stu

the raccoon

there i was at camp...taking care of the kids while the rest had their daily meeting...suddenly...a noise...the sound of crashing and breaking of sticks came from the woods...a bear , obviously...i ran to the lodge to get assistance...this monster must not be allowed to munch on the children...we ran fully armed back to the place of the sighting...and there it was before us...not a bear actually...a bit dangerous , maybe...you know...if you were a squirrel...o.k...it was a raccoon...here is my point , friends...fear will always take you to a bad place...be of sound mind...relax...respond in peace and humility...let love rule...and make all decisions from that perspective.

american idol

the winner of "american idol"
had a moment of clarity
a revelation of sorts
so he decided to call his debut album
"shit doesn't just come out of my ass"
anyway
it did not help sales
but god was pleased  

the horse

i was in switzerland for a month...living on top of this hill...a horse was not far away...and every day i attempted to get just a little bit closer to him...(he was shy)...it took three weeks or so but finally he let me pet him...unfortunately...as my hand touched his beautiful and soft brown nose...my elbow touched what turned out to be an electric fence...he ran one direction...i ran another...my friends...it may take you years to develop trust...yet...that same trust can be ruined in a second...think about it.

September 22

b.m.w.

a friend of a friend recently saw an add in the paper...someone was selling a b.m.w. for 50 dollars...he quickly hurried over to the location and made the purchase...now , before he left...he had to ask the obvious question..."why are you selling a brand new b.m.w. for 50 dollars???" her reply..."my husband recently died and during the reading of the will...it was disclosed that , not only did he have a mistress...but i was supposed to sell the car and give her 50% of the profits"...my point is simple...long after the car has expired and the money spent...the hurtful memory will remain...the only house worth building...is one of love .

September 21

screw

walking down "the road of life" recently...i was inspired to curb my direction and proceed on a new path...there i found two 50 pound boxes of screws...four and one half and five and one half inches long...i called my carpenter friend and within a few hours he arrived ...here is what makes this somewhat of a miracle...you see...the day before...he purchased two fifty pound boxes of screws of the same size and material...but forgot to load them in his truck...hence...he paid for the product but never collected...events like this are common to my life...and here is , from my limited observation , why...love is not a feeling nor simply an experience...love is spirit...and we pull it into our universe from another more real universe...this process is very abstract...and we dont know what will be pulled in with it...all we know is...it will be beautiful.

addiction

my brother was a gun addict...in 1986...he shot a duck...went into the water to get it...and drowned...my father was a gun addict...just over a year ago...tired of his struggle with cancer...he shot himself in the face in the wonderful company of his wife...(if i had been there...i would have been killed too)...anyway...here is my point...everything that gives us comfort...is not always good for us...and everything that makes us uncomfortable...is not always bad for us...look around...see the light...dont define yourself by what you feel...live love...things will appear differently...luv stu

the wager of sin

the religious paradigm suggests quite strongly...that if one is caught in some type of sin or another...not only are they to be punished...but furthermore...they are to be looked down upon for an undetermined length of time...to put it simply...one may as well repeat the offense as often as one wants...i mean...why not??? if you are screwed anyway...may has well have fun being screwed...and this is in opposition to a truly spiritual community...whereupon if one does fuck up...others are immediately there to nurture and support back to a place of real emotional and spiritual health...get the difference???  

energy

here is something you might find interesting...in my 24 years of community development...i have knowingly lied four times...each one at the exact same place...weirder still...it was in a church that was founded upon a lie hundreds of years before...my point??? energy is real...and we respond to it regardless if we are consciously aware or not...have a nice day !!! 

willie nelson

o.k...so this rather young lady got this tattoo of willie nelson on her belly...and guess what simulated willies beard??? yup...you guessed it...thing is...she aint gonna get any younger...someday...heaven forbid...she is going to look like shit...point...we all have some type of metaphoric willie nelson on our belly...think about tomorrow before you make any decisions...life will be better that way.

the postcard

so...i was in a state of meditation...praying about my lady friend...who lived on the other side of the world...i meandered into an art shop...the sales girl grabbed me and said..."you gotta look at these"...then proceeded to take me to their post card selection...and there...in front of me...was a picture of my girlfriend...unbelievable...i immediately concluded that this was a sign that we would indeed be together...what i failed to embrace was...she was with another man...paul simon said it best..."a man sees what he wants to see...and disregards the rest".

September 15

another dog story

one more dog story...a friend of a friend went to the states with the family pooch...and...just like before...the old fellow died...(the dog...not the friend)... this time they attempted to bring him home in a suitcase on a bus , however...and yep...the suitcase...complete with dog...was stolen...what we think we want...is not always what we want...luv stu

elton john???

speaking of nudity...here is a story for you...back in 2000...i was on a nude beach in the south of france...and , though i could be mistaken...i am reasonably sure that elton john was just 20 or so meters away from where i was...(for a fact...he was in town that day)...anyway...besides that it looked like him...there is another reason why i believed it to be sir elton...he looked poverty stricken...point...when people deteriorate emotionally...they become the exact opposite of what they are created to be...(community builders become dividers , for example)...because of this dynamic...it only seems reasonable that one of the richest men in the world would fake being poor... subconscious mind at work...life is a process of being taken back to our true selves...luv stu

September 13

in defense of scientology

it seems that the fundamentalist christians have labeled scientology a  particularly dark type of cult and are doing everything in their power to fuck the religion right up the ass...well...before you join the band wagon there are a couple of things you ought to know...firstly...fundamentalist religions , of any brand...figure they have a monopoly on truth and therefore...it is their sworn duty to drive all other religions into the ground...roughly translated...you could be next on their proverbial shit list...secondly...i have a few degrees in religion and have studied cults...that is to say...this whole world is a fucking cult...so as long as nobody is made to drink coolaid...people should simply just leave each other alone...and that is about it...luv stu

peace and quiet

potential responses to volatile situations :

1-fear
2-jealousy
3-revengs
4-anger
5-acceptance

regarding the first four...we see that people do not see the need to deal appropriately with the situation
dynamics :

1-situation
2-filter it through #1 to #4
3-add arrogance to allow you to justify
4-new reality
5-impose it through violence / deceit / forgetting facts / "cherry picking" friends / bribes

peace and quiet :

1-situation
2-see it for what it is
3-submit #1 to #4 to god
4-work at it : prayer / humility / community / suffering / counselling
5-acceptance : brings discernment and truth

...the americans spent...

the americans spent...god only knows how much money...inventing a "magic" pen that would write upside down in outer-space...after much time and laboring..."mission accomplished"...the russians achieved the same result...some people refer to it...as a pencil...point...we only have so many days on this strange little planet...use your time and resources wisely...luv stu

reptiles

...back in australia...a friend of mine and myself went to this lake...had some beer...cigars...great music...a late night swim...a perfect day...there was just one problem...we were later to discover that the lake was infested with crocodiles...we had no security...just an illusion...i remember when i found out that my neighbor had a ton of explosives in his basement...strange days...our only real security is to walk in the midst of love...it is the force that directs the universe...it is a current...let it carry you away...luv stu

September 8

homing pigeon

the homing pigeon can travel all the way across the world to find its place of abode...for many a year people have been bewildered by this mother-fucking bird and how he could accomplish such a thing...through much experimentation they-the scientists-finally made an important discovery...and that is...though they still do not know how the bird does it...they do know that if you cover his left nostril...he cannot...yup...lost as an atheist who has a vision of jesus...and what does this mean to us??? hard to say...probably nothing...but what it should mean is easy...that being...be humble , little puppy-cats...as we do not have a fucking clue in regards to what is really going on here...and we may never .    

pope cartoon

the duck hunter

this gentleman is protesting against windmill power...the reason is simple...from time to time...a duck will fly into the windmill and be chopped into bits...an animal lover you say...well...not entirely...you see...the truth of the situation is that this fellow is a duck hunter...and if the windmill chops them up...there are less ducks for him to kill...and my point...people have a lot of motives for doing a lot of different things...not everyone who gives you shit is trying to hurt you...and not everyone who comes to your defense is one your side...just something to think about .

the brain law

there is law concerning the brain...it is quite simple..."the larger the brain...the smarter the animal"...science has made an exception to this law however...the exception is as follows..."this law does not apply if an animal has a brain larger than a human's"...maybe it is just me...but being as arrogant as satan is probably not the best way to prove your intelligence .

the bridge

1992...a friend of mine and myself are driving across this bridge...a child looks as if he is about to jump off...we put on the breaks...i get out to stop the kid...too late...next scene...i am in the office of an anglican priest...(my boss)...i tell him about the child...he replies..."how many girls do you have in your senior basketball program???" point...spirituality is us embracing the divine : LOVE...religion...that is our interpretation of the divine...and we were not having a good day when we thought it up either...luv stu

sneakers

apparently...they have recently discovered that sneakers that support the weakest parts of your feet...may , in fact , be detrimental to your health...that is to say...the weakest parts of your body should be strengthened...not pampered...point...challenge yourself...don't run away from what is difficult...i had a "blow out" in 1987...i was told to avoid certain situations...i did not take that advice...in fact...i began to look for what was "screwing me up"...we can only find the cure for what ails us...by confronting what ails us...luv stu

the industrial accident

i was talking to this fellow recently...he was telling me how his grandfather had this industrial accident where he was crushed by these two beams while working on a bridge...forgetting that he was suspended...his co-workers proceeded to untrap his mangled body...where upon he fell hundreds of feet...crashing on solid ice...he survived...only to fall a few feet a couple of years later to his death...it is hard to say what is really happening here on planet earth...let us not make dogmatic judgments upon such an occurrence...let us simply conclude...what we think is going on...ain't...luv stu

September 1

the bed bug

for two months he haunted me...i kinda felt like spiderman...being stalked by the green goblin...i began to respect him...the hunter of the night...always one step a head of me...i began to feel attached to my bites on my ass...they were my war wounds...my badges of honor...i was indeed against the best of the best...and when he finally had fallen into my trap...and when he finally was made as flat as a tin can stepped upon by godzilla...there was a tear in my eye...no , wait a minute...i remember now...i laughed my fucking ass off .

...spirit of nudity...

back in australia...my landlord accuses me of having "the spirit of nudity"...he also gives me shit for my music collection...(no problem taking the rent however)...anyway...a few weeks later...his best friend is in jail...and he moves in with his wife...you know...if this crap just happened once in a while...i would let it go...but it happens every time...people who get into really dark shit...always become self righteous...life is a circle for many people...and watching them go around...makes me dizzy...luv stu

vision of jesus

...so this street person decides to visit the local church...he walks through the door...takes a seat...and in a very short while is man- handled by two of the larger elders...and is promptly thrown onto the street...it is there that he has a vision of jesus...the lord comes to him and says..."don't worry about it...i have been trying to get in there for years ". 

horny goat

being almost fifty and not in a relationship...things have not been quite as hard as they used to be...(sometimes)...so i decided to try something new...horny goat...what is horny goat??? you ask...good question...horny goat is a weed that grows either in one field or another...and if ingested properly...makes most people extremely sexually aroused...now i am not necessarily saying you should drop your boyfriend or girlfriend and pick yourself up a bottle of horny goat...but i am not saying you shouldn't either...let us put it this way...horny goat is the best sex i have ever had  in my life...luv stu .

...involved in a murder...

i am in n.y. city...a small cafe...this guy walks in the room...his energy is "obvious"...a really sweet guy who was involved in a murder years before and cant let it go...i feel compelled to talk to him...(a "tough" looking guy about 6 foot 8)...he cries...now, how did i know all of this??? my friends...the spiritual world is more real than the physical...look beyond yourself...there is a whole new universe...luv stu

hitler cat

there is this cat that looks like hitler...(no shit)...anyway...because of his appearance nobody will adopt him...thing is...the poor fucking cat doesn't even know who hitler is...my point is simple...this situation says nothing about the cat and everything about people...if you think you are not being judged with the most superficial means at the disposal of the human race...think again .

damage august 20 2011

why hurting each other is a horrible thing :

1-you see what the person has done to you...often more than the person
2-if someone does something to you once...they will do it again
3-our value shrinks as humans

there is supposed to be joy in the midst o relationships...once taken...it will probably never return
what is the fear of god??? hurting each other
...and this is why we have religion...to convince us that things that are not important are...and the other way around
the "morality" and the self righteousness of religion hide the terrible truth...we do not love each other
gotta get back to the garden :

1-turn around
2-throw your religion away
3-see others as human
4-begin to love...with god's help
5-be organic...open to change and growth

"i desire mercy...not sacrifice"
live luv

running into what you run away from

this fellow...no longer "in love" with his wife...decides to meander throughout the internet to find a "new and better lover"...he does...within weeks...they decide to meet and exchange names as well as bodily fluids...so they do...at some fast food place or whatever...anyway...guess who his "new and better lover" turned out to be??? yup...his darling little wife...sometimes when you run away from something...you smack directly into the very thing you are running away from...luv stu

the bingo hall

i lived fairly close to a bingo hall in australia...and i could not resist...every time i walked by the place...i would open the door and yell..."bingo!!!"...bells would ring and all the rest...and i would run away laughing myself silly...point...there is an inner ass hole in all of us...when you express it...just make sure nobody gets hurt...luv stu

boa issues

this man visited his dr. for...whatever issue...anyway...he told him about his pet boa constrictor...and how he would snuggle up to him in bed every night...after the dr. stopped shitting himself...he informed the man that the snake was not being a loving and gentle friend...but...in fact...was measuring him up for the purpose of some day swallowing him whole...point...not everyone who is kind to you...is being kind for the right reasons...luv stu

the booger

i was attempting to date this girl back in 1979...i finally got up the nerve to ask her out just one more time...she was the light of my life...the most beautiful creature in the universe...we were face to face...her amber hair glowing in the low lit light...my hands shook...she inhaled...she exhaled...and a big booger flew across the room...my angel turned out to be a human being...such is life...we are all human...live love .

my brother on the toilet

my brother was using a toilet in the back of some bar or another...a weirdo was peeping through the crack in the door...my brother said..."i got a surprise for you"...then he proceeded to kick out the door upon the guys head...then...with his pants down to his knees...chase him out of the washroom and across the bar...point...every time i feel badly about myself...i look up in the sky and thank god...i was not born my brother...luv stu

gone fishing

when i was a boy...i went fishing with my father...my brother...and some guy named parker...it was a fine day...suddenly...three shots rang out...followed by the words..."jesus h. christ"...parker was shooting at the fish...and it scared the crap out of me...next scene...i ran away from a baptist church and they called the cops...easily found...the officer took me for a drive around the city and bought me candy...point...we will make impressions upon people...it is up to decide what kind of impression we make...luv stu

August 18

the faith healer

the year is 1988...i am in north australia doing "stand-up"...there is this "faith healer" in the audience...he is being manipulated and used by one of the biggest "ministry" guys in the universe...anyway... he grows up...gets out... and becomes a famous movie director ...but here is the real story...nothing changed...he went from one person using him to another...and this is what we do...you see...the real problem is dealing with the issues of the heart...heal the wounds and the geography will take care of itself...have a nice day...luv stu

about johnny cash

true story...this little mentally handicapped boy...all week long...was telling his parents that johnny cash was going to sit with him in church next sunday...(johnny lived half way across the country or so)...anyway...you guessed it...next sunday...johnny just happened to meander into the little boys church...the child ran to him...gave him a hug...and told his doubting parents to "go eat shit"...(just kidding)...point..."cash by cash"...the best book i have ever read in my life...luv stu .

August 16

the fast food place

there is this fast food place in the city where i live...halifax...anyway...there were two pieces of paper taped to the front door...one was an award from a local magazine...it said that the store was best of its variety in our city...the other...a notice from the board of health..."CLOSED!!!" and this , my puppy-cats...is the human race in a nut shell .

comfort

the beautiful thing about having something to complain about is that you have something to complain about...if you don't...then you will , in all likely-hood...make something up...and the end result will probably be someone you care for having all your dark and disturbing crap projected upon...as long as you have an enemy...all your frustration...bitterness...and anger have a relatively constructive place to go...heaven help the devil in a time of complete peace .

coffee beans

this fellow...(true story)...walks into this coffee shop...and says..."got any of them free range coffee beans???" point...next time you think of yourself as stupid...remember...it could be worse...luv stu

the stock exchange

i could be wrong...but the stock exchange is probably completely controlled by just a few extremely rich individuals...they get people to buy and sell at their own convenience by manipulating the numbers and thereby scaring the fuck out of them...(you know...selling everything for a shit load...then buying it back for nothing)...their greatest "friend" is probably the millionaire...just enough money to be arrogant enough to think they are real players in the game...they probably set these fellows up just for some pseudo-sexual  rush of blood...thinking themselves to be great by crushing the stupid...this is just a theory...i have been wrong before...anyway...before you invest in such things...remember...whatever the case may actually be...the bottom line is...you are somebody's bitch .

friend , i will remember you aug. 6 2011

friendship is supposed to be real / eternal / integral...but it is usually reduced to one meeting the needs of another and visa versa...point...it is not healthy to love someone even onto dying for them...and they don't give a fuck...that is to say...choose your friends carefully . 

dynamics :

1-encounter
2-discern attraction : need / lust / laziness / revenge...(maybe they remind you of your mother) / love
3-act accordingly
4-allow god and time to prune and cultivate
5-reap a harvest one way or another

things to remember :

-you don't want what god has not given you
-you don't know what god is protecting you from
-there is a reason for every situation

August 11

the room mate

it was the early 90's...my roommate was moving back home to africa...the issue...not only did she leave owing me two months rent...but she "ran up" a 300 dollar phone bill just before she left...anyway...i went to clean up her room...and what should i find but a love letter to her lesbian lover...which would be o.k...but for one thing...she was married...indeed...now i could easily get my money back...thing is...then i would have to live with myself...point being...your soul is worth more than 900 dollars...live luv

the fan belt

back when i lived in australia...i would walk to my friends place along this unlit dark country road...there was always an old fan belt along the way...but this one night however...i noticed that the fan belt was 10 or so yards ahead of where it usually was...i reached down to pick it up and throw to where it was supposed to be...and suddenly...the fan belt slithered away ...as it was leaving...i identified it as a tia pan...the second most lethal snake in the world...question...was i lucky??? or was it divine intervention??? 

August Ninth

punishment july 30 2011

where we are and what we are doing there...has little to do with the moment...and everything to do with  the moments that led to that point...and how we lived them .

dynamics :

1-hurt
2-no resolution
3-project
4-attack
5-justify
6-forget or repress
7-perpetuate cycle

...people must not be punished for what others have done to us

dynamics :

1-we are hurt
2-must get in contact with that pain
3-begin to resolve : prayer / confession / dealing with the moment / forgiveness
4-resolve
5-be aware of what isn't resolved
6-walk in love
7-grow and become

discovering anothers soul part 2

although people are not terribly interested in revealing themselves by use of their cognitive processes...this does not change the obvious...they , non-the -less...are who they are...and are more than willing to give you this information if you know how to get it...so how??? 1-power...allow the power to be shifted...just a tad...in their general direction...if power is an issue with them...they will not be able to resist...it is the nature of the sickness...2-weakness...we are all weak...just reveal this aspect of who you are... just a bit will do...and see what happens...just like power...being an emotional predator is a sickness...and will not remain hidden if given the chance...3-the "ass hole" factor...what do they think of "ass holes"??? do they have mercy??? do they keep safe boundaries yet still care...or do they want to annihilate??? point...we will all sooner or later be "ass holes" to most people...the question is...will they want to murder us for it...or will they care???

discovering anothers soul part 1

by the way...who are you???

the fact of the matter is that you will  virtually never discover the identity of another by asking them...this is true for three reasons...1-they do not known who they are...2-being that type of real...will take away their leverage in "the game of life"...and...3--people are afraid of being mistreated...therefore...they hide their identity from others...(and consequently...sooner or later...as a result...themselves)...yet in order to deal with the situation efficaciously...you must have this information...not for any self serving reason...(trust me...it will inevitably go to shit if your motives are wrong)...but so you can be safe...and so you can facilitate the loving dynamic in that particular situating...indeed...how do we live luv???

my father loves dogs

1969...give or take...my brother comes home in tears...he had been bitten by a dog...my father goes to the basement...gets a baseball bat...gives it to my brother...and says..."son , you go show that fucking dog who's boss"...anyway...i would look at my father...study his every move...and do the opposite...point...if you are a parent...teach your children well...live luv.

the anglican church

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  i worked in this anglican church...the "pastor" would talk to me about all these wonderful "prophesies" concerning the church and the congregation...it has been torn down now...i walk by it just about every day...sometimes i fantasize about seeing him in front of the church...(commonly referred to as a parking lot these days)...not sure what i would say...i guess the parking lot would do all the talking for me...luv stu

greeting cards and my brother

the mid 80's...my brother arrives at the gander airport...his best friend is there to greet him...he says..."hey , steve...my little girl is walking now"...my brother replies..."who the fuck cares???" now , i am no fortune cookie...but my guess is...if stephen had lived...he would never have ventured into the greeting card industry...luv stu

August The Third

picture this

i am sitting on my couch...gazing at a picture...i say out loud..."fuck , i hate that picture"...immediately it falls off the wall and breaks...coincidence??? get this one...i go for a walk a few minutes later...come back home...and two of my other pictures had traded places...someone was trying to tell me that the supernatural events that i was experiencing at that time in my life...were not my imagination...anyway...i was glad to get rid of the thing .

garlic sault

so...for whatever reason...i am talking to a friend about buying hamburgers...suddenly...i hear a voice...it says to me..."you will need garlic salt",,,that's weird...i conclude...i have garlic salt in the cupboard...anyway...next day i am at the dollar store...and there is this bottle of garlic salt...but it is in with the pots and pans...alone...i take it...but...just one more thing to do before i leave...i check the spice section to see if there is any garlic salt there...nope...just one fucking bottle in the entire store...still...there is the matter of already having a bottle at home...i arrive...check the cupboard...there is is all right...FUCKED...as hard a s a rock...and the hamburgers were very nice . 

the bagel shop

there used to be this bagel shop right across the street from where i lived...we had this occasional deal...if i went to their shop wearing nothing but a bath robe...i  would get my breakfast for free...the customers would sometimes ask me why i was in a bath robe...to them i would reply that this was my house and that my bed room was just beyond the kitchen...and this seemed to satisfy them...anyway...it is the little things in life that make it worth while .

ways to know your marriage is shit

1-when you put your rubber ducky in the tub...chemicals come out of its ass...2-your vibrator is hooked up to the car battery...3-dr. phil eggs your house...4-you get shot between the eyes...5-she gives you a picture of her screwing the milkman for your birthday...6-you find a book under the bed entitled..."how to remove your husbands nuts"...7-your poodle has been stuffed and mounted...8-he stays at work and plays video games on a broken video machine...9-she bought you a carton of cigarettes for your lung infection...10-he keeps on saying that he loves you...completely unprovoked .