belief and reality...

if you have a belief that expels reality...then do not expect reality to not be expelled .

being heterosexual...the non-hetero way .

you don't have to be emotionally strong...heterosexual...or living in complete denial to pull off a boy / girl type romantic relationship...

...but you gotta be one of these three .

...accusations...

i have never been accused of my bad qualities...i have been too busy being accused of my good ones .

another donut...

...i don't need another donut...and i certainly don't need another hole .

truth is liquid...

...truth is liquid .

having a shit...

no , i really do have to shit...look...see ??? told ya !!!

...earth sandwich...

each of us bite upon the rim of the earth in our own particular way .

...earth sandwich , i call it .

...if you run away from it...

...if you run away from it...you will probably run into it .

...life and easy...

if life comes too easy...it is probably a trap .

...the fruit of love...

if the branches are too high...then grow longer legs .

...smile...

SMILE...you are on the dark side of the moon .

gifts from god...

my experience with religion is to fill me up with crap...BUT...god has given me a MIGHTY toilet bowl .

gremlins...sept . / dec. 2016

the problem is not gremlins up your ass...the problem is when you think that they are your friend .

understanding...

we all need understanding...understanding and a good dinosaur repellent .

merry christmas

me poop looks like eggnog...MERRY CHRISTMAS .

patching your boat...

unforgiveness is like patching your boat with fire and gasoline .

maybe your soul...

maybe your soul teeters and sways at the end of the universe...and is somehow projected into this moment in time and space .

inviting mercy...

inviting mercy in...does not count if you kick it out the back door .

imitations...

a monument to love may look like love...but performs like cold , hard concrete .

maybe love...

maybe Love teeters and sways...at the edge of the universe .

love fits...

maybe love fits perfectly in cracks and holes .

commitment...

commit yourself to LOVE...not the nut house .

were wolves...

were wolves have lots of interesting shit to say...but do you really want to hang out with them long enough to listen to it ???

truth is...

truth...is more fun with a sex toy...tastes better with salt...and lasts eternally with rat poison .

secrets...

a secret can be as simple as chewing bubble gum with your ass...secrets simply never go to good places .

religion fucking you up...

...if religion is not fucking you up...then you are doing it wrong .

sasquatch are...

sasquatch are people , too .

walk on water...

if you waste your time walking on ice...you will never be able to prove that you can walk on water .

getting up...

do you get up when you go down ???

...my theory...

...my theory on how everything works...IT DON'T !!!

time and such...

time should be kept in a basket...along with rolls and banana cream pie .

shoes and sexual partners...

shoes and sexual partners...fit them perfectly .

Flarmology: deceit and such...

deceit bends the world in all shapes and sizes...all broken .

love runs...

love runs through fire...and swims to the shore .

truth in your mouth...

truth may fit in your mouth...but can you swallow ???

deceit and such...

...deceit bends love into various shapes and pieces...all broken .

ode to a hypocrite...

maybe the universe is a fish...and god is scaling it right now .

nurturing...

don't listen to anyone...chewing on someones brains and throwing them into traffic...is not being nurturing .

reality and time...

time is what reality wipes its ass with .

time in itself...

time means nothing in itself...it is there simply to push other things along .

...the universe...

...maybe the universe is god's erection...and the ejaculation is the end as we know it .

and , of course...all dogs...

come the end...all that will remain is love...and the top 10 % of house cats .

reality , what a concept...

...more than anything else...it is your reality that separates you from reality .

being a whore...

if you are to be a whore...be one with kindness and integrity .

...all are trolls...

we are all trolls under a bridge , fiddling with our nuts....nut fiddling , bridge dwelling trolls we are .

human love...

how much is the weight of human love ??? well , let us rip it out of a body and find out .

fields of eternity...

...the odds of god playing ping-pong for our souls in the fields of eternity as we speak...are very low .

bullshit and deceit...

the bullshit will weigh the exact same amount as the deceit .

ping - pong and the universe...

once truth has spilled its seamen...the universe can go back to playing its extended game of ping - pong .

hypocrite and monster...

if your name is FUCK - EYES...do not confuse it with SAINT FUCK - EYES .

...do it in humility...

next travel...do it in humility .

letting go...

we possess nothing...and it is still hard to let go of it .

life...snd shit...

...life...get the shit out of the way...and have some fun !!!

...recycled love...

recycled love still works...if it is love .

how to '' build'' a friendship...

find out what your friend likes to do...then don't do it .

...if your life is an obligation...

...if your life is an obligation...then obligate yourself in a different direction .

...rice pudding...

...so you believe that your rice pudding is a homosexual .

what is a thief ???

what is a thief  ??? a liar that learned how to plug
 his own ass with moon rocks .

truth happens...

truth happens in the midst of love .

...false accusations...

false accusations...creating something hideous from nothing at all .

smile...god loves you...

it was not enough that i gave you my testicles...i had to smile and say thank you as well .

...christmas treaty...

...every christmas we had the CHRISTMAS FAMILY TREATY .

...sex...

sex...just too sticky for me .

bee careful...

a friend of mine came zipping around the corner in her automobile...i said...'' if you don't stop driving like that...someone is going to die ''...

...a couple hours later...she was pronounced dead as a result of a car accident .

love grows...

love grows mainly in decay...but , strangely enough...lies about it .

loving truth...

...the more i loved truth...the drunker truth became .

potato salad...

beware of the potato salad...that bites your balls right off your dining table .

nude and judging...

have you ever taken a picture of someone nude...only to look into the lens and see them judging you ???

strange . eh ???

...imaginary tails...

...maybe god should change our imaginary tails into real ones...so we can see ourselves chase it .

...erections...

the best erections happen...when people shut the fuck up .

...sweet fuck all...

we now know that people's needs cut through reality with virtually sweet fuck all resistance .

'' go fuck yourself ''...

...people will try to scare you into behaviour...if they cannot give you a good reason...tell them to go fuck themselves .

...the belly of a whale...

once you slice open the belly of a whale...god only knows what truth comes pouring out .

the greatest secrets...

the greatest secrets are hidden in what is vulnerable and transparent .

...for every good men...

remember , ladies...for every good men...there are 10 , 000 good dogs .

...fuck off...

when you say...FUCK OFF...do not forget to point in a general direction .

weight...

the less you carry...the easier it is to reach your destination .

if...masturbation kills you...

if masturbation kills you...go see a doctor...until then...don't worry about it .

truth as last option...

if truth is your last option...then start drinking heavy .

sweet fuck all...

remember...next time someone appears at your door to give you religion...they , in reality...are not there to GIVE you sweet fuck all .

p . p . p .

...then came THE POCKET PUSSY POLICE .

making love...

...if the mind does not line up with the heart and soul...is it really MAKING LOVE ???

forgetting you...

...it is not that people will forget you...it is how fast they will forget you that is really fucked up .

people are the same...

people are basically the same...give or take a turd or two .

...fuck off...

...fuck off...the new...'' i love you '' .

...people...

people...smart enough to build a bomb...not smart enough to realise you shouldn't .

an ode to a terrier...

between a small brown biscuit and 100 kisses on the fur...you will discover that you love me very much .

heart soup...

most people get two or three meals out of a heart...then turn it into a soup .

truth will cut open...

truth will cut open your knuckles .

the human race...

the human race...just one step behind the rats .

bee kind...

what does the '' hard left'' and the ''hard right'' have in common ??? they possess not an ounce of love...and are fucking proud of it .

bee kind...and a baseball bat over the head is not kind .

...hand-job...

if your hand-job hurts more than your fist...then you got yourself a real problem .

...holy baseball bat...

just because jesus never carried a baseball bat...does not mean you shouldn't .

there are no limits to human behaviour...

people's behaviour will expand like heated popcorn...so do not be afraid to drown them in butter .

...like monkeys...

...life is good...life is bad...like monkeys .

...every penis...

every penis comes with an accompanying mouth...and every action comes with an excuse .

love never fails...

...love never fails among the dead...

shit eater...

...do you know who hates the name SHIT-EATER ??? someone who eats shit...and , oh yes...everyone else .

...connection...

...connection is the fruit of humility .

...does anyone get hurt ???

is it wrong ??? ask yourself...'' does anyone get hurt ??? ''

digging...

...if you think you are completely sane...you didn't dig very far .

part sex...

...there is part sex in most everything you do .

...your bulldog...

your bulldog bit me on my chocolate milk container...which means , of course...there is no fucking order to the universe .

...emotions and such...

...remember...the real reason why god gave you emotions...is to pretend that they do not exist .

if reality is not built upon reality...then hold your bird and walk away .

...level of connection...

...your level of connection...is your level of humility .

reality...

if reality is not built upon reality...then hold your bird and walk away .

clear , blue sky...

vampires to the left...werewolves to the right...i stop and look at the clear blue sky .

love is...

love is not a river in egypt .

...every road...

...every road comes complete with its own particular set of demons and angels .

pocket pussy...

...a glow in the dark pocket pussy...is a bright idea .

...do you believe it is wrong...

...do you believe it is wrong...because you enjoy it ???

swing , little monkey...

swing , little monkey , swing...the branches on the tree of life ate breaking .

skate away...

if i say it...it will hurt you...so i will turn it into ice and skate across the lake instead .

how deep is your love ???

do you apply the depths of your love...to those who have nothing to give in return ???

under a barrel...

do not hide your love , your light...or your pocket pussy under a barrel .

let your ass...

...let your ass talk more than your mouth .

fucked up nose...

...never attempt to keep what god desires to take away...your broken nose might become your prettiest feature .

being a good bullshit artist...

being a good bullshit artist...the new honesty .

...a martyr...

...if you chop the head off of someone's prize goat...and they fuck you up for it...that does not make you a martyr .

the panther and the ungulate...

THANK YOU , JESUS...says the panther...as he devours the ungulate .

bi-sexual...

...you would make a great bi-sexual...i you could just learn to count to two .

...great lover...

if you want to be a great lover...first...hire yourself an elf to blame all your shit on .