the goose show

when spirit rules soul...may 26 2012

how we conduct life :

1-have an intuition
2-we process it : logic / god / what we desire / our past experience / society
3-we conclude
4-act upon conclusions
5-learn or justify



five options...only one is spiritual in base...it is our life journey to make grow...and the others to diminish :

1-humility-an attitude of placing truth in front of all

2-humility-in specific situation...(living without personal agenda)
3-community-we need each other to help in the decision making process
4-prayer-opens the door to truth
5-love sees all

only love is real...think about that next time you have to make a decision 
live luv
 

letting go

not forgiving is our greatest killer :

 dynamics :

1-an incident
2-don't forgive because of : you are right / you are wrong / do not love / hate yourself / dehumanize people
3-idolize the event
4-become like what you despise
5-defend with : violence / control / deceit
 
...if you don't let go...your life is fucked!!!

dynamics :

1-an incident
2-confession : community / humility / time
3-enterslove
4-the process of letting go
5-you see love...not the infraction

it may take time...but unforgiveness cannot live in the presence of love

rafa nadal...june 11 2012

...the date...this monday...i am walking down the street thinking how fantastic it is that rafa nadal won his seventh french open...suddenly...a dog begins to bark at me...i reach over the fence to give him a pat...then his "owner" comes over to greet me...i say to her..."what is your dogs name???" she replies..."rafa"...i respond..."you mean rafa as in the tennis player rafa ???" she confirms that this is indeed the rafe she named her dog after...me and the dog hang out for a while...i talk to the lady for another short bit...then i am on my way...what a strange and mysterious world we live in...next stop...wimbledon !!!

rule or be ruled...june 2 2012

life is never what it seems...the issues addressed are never the real ones...cut away the ascetics...we have humans going for power over each other...being controlled by each other...and the odd "idiot" attempting to put the whole fucking mess back into order and leg go of both extremes...how we got this far with almost everyone in the history of this planet working against its beautification...is possibility the closest thing to proof we have in regards to the existence of god...to let go of all...and to let love rule...is to forsake every natural inclination that a human possess...paradoxically...it is the only way to gain what one is truly supposed to obtain on this little planet...live luv .

jesus...from the album / "short stories"

jesus went to newfoundland
preached a sermon on signal hill
everybody had a good time
every slut was on her pill

the clergy were really pisses
they didn't want jesus there
they just sat around and complained
as their v.d. ate their brains

jesus turned water into wine
he turned the fog into rum
he turned the ocean into whisky 
he said "god thy kingdom come"

jesus got a fishing boat
he rowed to saint john harbor
first sunny day in a week
jesus rowed a little further

jesus said "love thy neighbor"
to 10,000 newfs and 18 capers
jesus said "be born again"
as the fog came rolling in

my horse...from the album / "short stories"

my horse was never that fast
my cow only gave skim milk
my wife is a slut
she will screw but not fuck
my boys underwear is silk

i used to be in a rodeo
i could rope and tie any bull
but i lost my guts
when a horn hit my nust
and cut off my left testicle

i once had sex at mcdonalds
the hamburgeler called the cops
ronald got pissy
mayor mccheese had a hissy
all thanks to fucking peach snops

life is like a circus
that is , it ain't any fair
when you get on the ride
you discovered they lied
the fucker ain't going nowhere

raining frogs in egypt

dr. goose...global warming

timmy : dr. goose , what do you know about global warming ???

dr. goose : every million years or so , timmy , we have what is known as an ice age

dr. goose : that is , everything freezes up and goes to shit

dr. goose : but now , through modern advances , we have enough pollution and crap in the atmosphere to combat the ice age

dr. goose : thank god for human laziness and stupidity...or we would all freeze our fucking asses off

timmy : that's just terrible , dr. goose

 dr. goose : the only thing terrible is the price of sun screen

tools to fight...june 16 2012

thoughts while masturbating...why they are considered dirty : a) pride...b)  control...(better than people who think such things)...c) been taught by religion and or stupidity
thoughts are not sexual acts...they are there to teach us who we are...why we are...and who we want to become
to deny or repress thoughts is to allow them to gain control over us...we become..."white washed tombs"...there is a mathematical equation between denying something and becoming what we are denying...that is to say...it will destroy us
weapons needed to embrace and become real :

1-community
2-confession
3-humility
4-understanding
5-power of love

it all comes down to keeping pride at the expense of light...with pride comes its own set of tools...tools that will allow you to appear like something you are not...which will last...only for a season 
   

the opportunist...may 12 2012

where will love get you??? most believe...nowhere...so we invented another way :

1-born to love
2-begin to see its pitfalls
3-become-hard
               -some sort of criminal
               -an opportunist
4-form generic relationships
5-institutionalize and defend...(often with deceit)

maybe love will get you nowhere...but according to science...nothing and nowhere is the beginning of all real life and everything we hold important...on the journey back to god...we need : faith / perseverance / and the ability to embrace the fact that opportunity will be missed out on     

love does  not see opportunity...love sees only love...and follows at all cost
live luv

sweating in the hot dogs...from the album / "short stories"

there once was this fellow who needes money
to buy food and stuff like that
he needed tires for his car
a nut job for his cat
he picked up the morning paper
read this thing about killer frogs
on the next page he saw this add
that read..."do you want to sell hot dogs???"

chorus :

sweating in the hot dogs
making buns soggy
sweating like a fucking pig
in the hot doggy
everyone was screaming
like in a bad dream
it became a fucking mob
for sweating in the hot dogs

he called the number and the next day
he was working down town
the streets were hot and crowded
there were all these fucking clowns
sweat poured from his body
it was thicker than fog   
then one drunk said
 "stop sweating in the hot dogs"

chorus :

he reached and got a beer
from the cooler in the back
then he took out his penis
and he began to wack
"no more sweating in the hot dogs
it's special sauce instead"
half the people had a heart attack
the other half dropped dead

chorus :  

me and tyrone in the shower...from the album / "short stories"

i was swimming in the water
because that is where people swim
i did the backstroke
then i did it once again
i dove and smashed my balls
right off the second tower
but that didn't hurt nearly as much
as me and tyrone in the shower

every kid measures his dick
because that's what all boys do
i never exaggerated one little bit
besides maybe an inch or two
i wasn't hung like a mule
but i had penis power
but all of this came crashing down
with me and tyrone in the shower

i finished swimming in the pool
tyrone finished in the gym
i turned on the hot water tap
as tyrone came walking in
he took off his underwear
and showed his fucking flower
to get a look at it all
took nearly half an hour

it reminded me of star trek
the enterprise was between his legs
and as for those nuts of his
they looked like two beer kegs 
i got out of there as fast as i could
feeling small hurt and sour
i will never forget that fatal day
of me and tyrone in the shower

naming babies...from the book / "dingo wombat...your nation"

we decided to name our babies
satan
and judas
why???
well , i guess
we are both
that is
my wife and i
very religious
and so
wanted to give our children
good biblical names

praise god

slug talent show

atheist and religious fanatic...

atheist and religious fanatic...both have one thing in common...a hidden agenda .

every breath you take

in the year 1983...the world was taken...awe struck , even...by the hit single..."every breath you take"...considered a great , epic love song...it spent the next 30 years being played at weddings and all sorts of other special occasions...which is , well...to be frank...really fucked up...thing is...it is not a love song at all...to those who have ears...listen carefully...the song is about some crazy nutcase stalking some poor lady...which brings us to the point...why does our society not know the difference between a stalker and a  healthy romantic relationship...all i can tell you ,  little puppy-cats...is it was not a mistake...we believe what we believe...for very good reasons .

from now on...

defending the clergy

you go to university...get a b.a....maybe with honors...then proceed to get a masters in theology...then maybe...even a doctors...then , finally...move your sorry ass behind a podium only to find that the entire thing is a bad joke...that 95 % of the crap going down is simply self righteous judgement and cannibalism (of a sort)...enters the question...what in the fuck do you do with a masters in theology...once you discover that all it bought you is a ticket to the land of overcompensation ??? i will tell you what you do...you throw away your beliefs...your integrity...play the fucking game and learn how to lie...either that or sell vacuum cleaners...simple...now , i am not condoning any form of behavior...but the next time you want to condemn organized religion...remember...the poor shit-head  behind the podium was trapped into that position...and now all he wants to do is feed his family...at least , that is the situation for the most noble of them .

love substitute

so this particular individual at this particular place...seems to be spending most of his time attempting to make me look like an inferior...(at least to him)...so i'm watching this crap go down...and it eventually occurs to me...what this dumb shit is really thinking...(subconsciously , i would assume)...is that if he can prove himself better than i am...then that makes him worth while as a human being...roughly translated...if he can be a big enough prick...then he can go home and have a good night sleep...POINT...love , for most...is not the issue...in fact...love...as a way of life...will be mocked if the conversation is lubricated with enough alcohol...power , my friend...is what people subscribe to and worship...too bad it does not exist .

the ice cycle

there i was walking in downtown halifax...suddenly...out of nowhere...a 300 pound ice cycle  fell from a building directly in front of me...missing me by inches...lucky ??? i do not believe so...and if i were...i would not know how to make the story interesting...it missed me because all eternity suggested it should...past , present...future...(all the same really)...deemed that it shall not impail my fragile human body .

 near as i can figure out...THIS universe operates on the "current principal"...that is to say...everything is going in a particular direction...and the subconscious objective of the human species...(with notable exceptions) ...is to interrupt its process...however...the end result is that the current is much stronger than we are...(our strength being a type of hologram at best )...and therefore the current is only momentarily bended...but you might say..."yes...but just about everyone is attempting to bend the current"...true...however...in the final analysis...that is no b.f.d....or in laymen terms...no big fucking deal...a billion delusions is still a billion delusions...and it is only a matter of time...(which also does not exist)...to bring us back to the path that the universe has mapped out for us in spite of all we see and do and lust after...and this brings us back to the ice cycle.

 now here is the shit that people really do not want to hear...if you walk within the current of the universe...unless it is your given time...the ice cycle misses you...does not matter how...but it will happen...however...if you do not walk in the current of the universe...you are dead...and if it was not your time to leave...(and it probably was not)...plans have already been adjusted...so that your position in the universe will be filled...in , maybe...ten seconds...or , maybe...ten trillion years form now...it is all the same...because everything real...exists outside of the parameters we refer to as time .

how dinosaurs got here part 1

evolution...creation...whatever...i was not there personally...but i will tell you this...there are rather large pieces of the puzzle missing...and will never be found as long as people are looking in all the wrong places...my theory is simple...there is not just one universe...there is not just two...but probably billions of parallel universes that co-exist together in a way that i cannot personally explain...somehow...from time to time...some of these universe's rock back and forth...infringing upon one another and therefore bringing some of their essence through time and space...(not that time actually exists but it gives us a point of reference)...enters the dinosaurs...exactly how and exactly why...only god knows for sure...but make no mistake...they are the product of another universe...colliding with our universe of rock...water and fire...t.b.c.         

when numbers get serious

i do not believe for a second that we should govern our lives by numbers...(you know...stars and shit)...however...that does not mean that patterns do not exist...especially as we look out the rear view mirror of our lives for conformation...for example...my new apartment number is 1705...as for the apartment building that i just left...i had been there for 17 years and five months...possibly to the day...look around you...in one way or another...everyone and everything...someway or another...is speaking to you .

June 14 2012

a cat story

 if i were to remember correctly...and i probably do not...it was a warm winter day...i was preaching in this church hall...and i left the back door open to get a breath of fresh air...suddenly...a cat entered ...i...being the clergy man and all...picked it up...gave it a pat...and gently tossed it back out into a parking lot...SUDDENLY...i saw it in his eyes...this young gent who i was attempting to assist in his little journey...was looking at me like he wanted to murder me...now...was this about the cat??? nope...(though he sure as hell was pretending it was)...tune in tomorrow and hear one of the most fucked up stories you have ever heard in your life .

our little protector of cats...not long before this event...owed a halifax gang some drug money...hence...he was taken to this meeting place in the city to perform oral sex on strange men...after one particular blow job...his guardian asked him how much money did he make...the reply..."non...i was just building up our clientele"...which brings us , of course...to the cat :

the cat...like most animals , things and events...had nothing to do with the cat...and everything to do with everything else...the young mans attack upon me was simply a perverse way of  establishing himself as a human being after participating in the behavior that he participated in...to the non-spiritual man...putting another down...is to re-enforce ones "self esteem"...and transform one into a valuable individual...of course , this has many applications regarding the state of a soul...but it reaches far beyond that...that is to say...if most of the behavior going on in this world is not grounded in reality...then what the fuck is everything all about ???

you want proof of god??? here's some fucking proof...there is no way this planet should be doing as well as it is...my point : there is a little bit of "pervert and cat" in all of us...and most of us...especially the ones in power...have more pervert and cat than the pervert and cat guy...roughly translated...almost everything on this planet is not real...that is , a lie to cover up the complete ugliness of this situation...yet it still goes on , does it not??? you know...i look out my window...and see people driving like maniacs...yet in my 18 years of living in this place...i have never seen a single individual hurt...there is a verse in the bible that says..."you will not be punished according to your sin"...in other words...god made the universe...and he can do any fucking thing he so desires...any time he fucking wants...have a nice day...luv stu

the beauty of forgiveness

i have this idea for a movie...it is about this man who rapes this woman...and through a variety of circumstances...comes to the place where he asks for and receives her forgiveness...from this point...he demands to be her best friend...she respectfully declines...which sets him off in a tirade of psychotic episodes...killing her prize winning poodles...as well as her best friend...eventually...he gets caught by the police...and is locked up in prison...his only phone call...the lady he raped...to ask for her forgiveness .

my mother

one goose says to the other..."i will tell you why i'm mad at my mother...she broke up with me"...2011

the winnipeg zoo...from the album / "short stories"

i was going to winnipeg
to see the winnipeg zoo
everyone said they didn't have one
i wanted to see if that were true
there you were hitch-hiking
wearing nothing but a hat
it was furry and it was orange
made out of pure house cat

chorus:

you blow me away when you suck me
when you make me feel small my dick gets big
we screwed all night like hounds
as i was getting up you were going down
when you get on i get off 
we slurp away like pigs at a troff 
maybe we are nothing but sluts
but when you rub my balls baby i go nuts

when i got to the zoo
it was obvious something was wrong
there was nothing but a dead raccoon
i was told he wasn't dead long
he was on the side of the road
with tire tracks on his head
so we went back to the hotel
and screwed all nght instead

chorus : 

pissing in the tub...2011

one goose says to the other..."what do you mean you don't piss in the tub...you know that can give you cancer???"

girlfriend nov.13 2008/ remake june 9 2012

of course i got you pregnant , honey...it's just that i only jerked off between your toes

living in circles

why we are destined to repeat ourselves :

1-a solution
2-goes to hell
3-enters pride
4-justify-become hard
            -become cynical
            -become distant or fearful
5-repeat the process

love is not an emotion...it is a way of life...that will lead one into all truth :

1-a solution
2-goes to hell
3-enters humility and love
4-we learn-communicate
                -find a different direction 
                -try again 
5-slowly...patiently...our patters reform

love reveals all things...but in its own time...there is an extreme possibility that you could not deal with the entire truth of the situation all at once...be patient with yourself...and with others

"if you can hear truth pounding at your door...then it is not"

being a prick feb .25 2009

one goose says to the other..."did you ever think there  may be more to life than just being a prick???"

kidney donation feb. 25 2009

one goose says to the other..."of course i fucked your wife...you gave me a kidney...what else would i do???"

a coincidence dec. 2 2008

don't you think it is quite the coincidence that all the crap we learned as kids...turned out to be entirely true ???

in a moment of affection nov. 23 2008

in a moment of affection...one goose says to the other..."you may be an ass hole...but you are my ass hole"

a brief geography lesson nov.13 2008

with any amount of luck...my last breath and my last orgasm...will not be far apart...sort of like cape breton and nova scotia

two kingdoms

the generic kingdom :

1-meet each others needs-sex
                                      -money
                                      -power
2-things are hidden
3-generic behavior is established as a way of hiding...a.k.a...religion of some sort or another 
4-activity based...allows things to be concealed
5-behavior negotiated

the organic kingdom :
                            
1-needs second to love
2-transparency
3-grow and learn
4-activities secondary...a way of building bridges opposed to an end to themselves ...the heart is exposed
5-love is cultivated...and the individual is revealed more and more

there is only love to keep an organic relationship together...many things can keep a generic relationship together...but if god is for you...who can be against you???

the road of love

the road of love...leads you back to yourself .

"abraham...i will make your descendants..."

love

if you can love only one thing...then let it be love .

decisions

...always make your decisions...before you know what you are deciding upon .

three years...

...so jesus says to god..."what do you mean you are councelling our show just after three seasons ???"

eye of the needle

why people abandon each other :

1-better deal
2-laziness...love takes effort
3-pride...cannot see the other as a real human being 

so people leave what god has given them...for selfish reasons
opposed to good reasons :

1-it is time
2-abuse
3-death

your strength is not supposed to be a good reason to fuck up your life
(it often is what empowers us  to do whatever we desire)
question...how do we stay in relationships when we don't need to???

1-prayer...love in the midst
2-humility...sees all
3-integrity...the "better deal" dynamic is a form of lust...same with laziness and pride 
4-being accountable...community is life
5-being accountable...alone...we will all be deceived..."it takes a friend to tell a friend that he is pissing in the wind"...(neil young) 

...it all comes down to real love

justin bieber

this goose is having a shit...a second goose says..."what are you doing???" the first one says..."i am writing a song for justin bieber" . 

laziness

why are we lazy ???

1-does not affect us
2-not capable of abstract thought...cannot see beyond the moment
3-immediate gratification

"evil men are gods way of punishing lazy men"

evil men are seldom lazy :

1-lust
2-greed
3-revenge

love takes a long time to see results :

1-slow motion
2-intelligent...abstract thought needed
3-requires patients...from a different universe...has to be "transported"  

laziness will certainly make sure real love never arrives on the scene

cat lady...from the album / "short stories"

every cat lady starts with one cat
because that's what cat ladies do
but by the end of the year
as they go queer
every cat lady has two

then there is the third
it has only one eye
it somehow shows up at the door
it has a fuck buddy usually a stray
then every cat lady has four


then there is the cat shit
she somehow forgets
that it should not be at the table
but as time goes on
it somehow belongs
as cat lady gets more unstable


then there is the fifth
followed by ten
the four in the  middle
she says belong to a friend
then they start screwing
then screwing some more
then screwing again and again


in the final analysis
there are 1000 cats
and she is hoping for a1000 more
and when no one is around
she says "look what i've found"
and eats cat shit right off the floor

an ode to halloween...from the book / "dingo wombat...your nation"

last halloween i got my 85 year old
277 pound grandmother
who is in fact out of her fucking mind
to open the door
and hand out candy
to the neighborhood kids
completely naked 
some of the parents didn't like it
i just replied
"are your kids scared???"
they said
"yes"
"and is holloween supposed to be scary???"
they said
"yes"
so i said
"then what is your fucking problem???"

cross roads

there are events in our lives that will define us...however...it is up to us to choose which way we will be redefined...we have choices :

1-harden
2-justify
3-attack
4-self destruct
5-learn

...and how do we learn???

1-walk in love...love leads into all truth and wisdom
2-have the humility to see what is really going on...humility sees all things
3-embrace the experience...opposed to hide from the experience...and , as a result , hide from self  
4-forgive all those who hurt you...either that...or become like them
5-be prayerful...god is the great teacher 

old men

here is life :

1-conceive an idea
2-desire for immediate gratification
3-make it happen
4-watch it go to hell...(hell , meaning anything not born out of love will be burned up)
5-make it appear otherwise...(example...religious institutions)
6-get older
7-time slowly reveals all

what is real takes forever to grow...this should be obvious...it is being pulled in from another universe...it is one fucking long and painful process

dynamics :

1-hear from god
2-do what god says
3-let go of desire
4-wait a long time
5-learn to be at peace regardless

LOVE TAKES TIME

god gives abraham a cheese grater

sex and life are the same

when purity is lost...it it replaced by :

1-morality
2-religion
3-self righteousness
(all three are cover-ups...designed to hide the heart) 

process of losing purity :

1-see it
2-take it
3-justify it
4-does not fulfill
5-take more

as this process slowly unfolds...one or more of the first list...(they are all essentially manifestations of the same thing)...creeps in to the picture

what makes sex wonderful : an expression of love...it is a secondary dynamic...meant to consummate an already developed relationship   

the path of love is the path of abundant life...whatever happens...it will lead you into into discovery and wonder
live luv

priorities

the average person will date a homicidal manic who murdered his cat with a dull knife...take her to a movie...and complain that there is not enough butter on the popcorn...point...how do we form our priorities??? 

dynamics :

1-hurt as a child
2-justify the perpetrate r to feel safe
3-internalize
4-it manifests itself in many ways in our world around us 
5-justify behavior
6-self righteous to overcompensate
7-idolize

we must become seekers of truth

dynamics :

1-priorities have to be changed...stop and look
2-poor behavior always has consequences...how much damage has been done??? 
3-turn around-community...people to assist us
                     -humility...will see all truth
                     -integrity...love made manifest in the most authentic sense
4-follow love
5-transformation

the wheelchair guy

there is this fellow
in a wheel chair
begging for money
by my apartment building
almost every day
one day however
on the other side of town
i see him
standing up straight and tall
wheeling his chair
down the street
i look at him
i look at the chair
ponder the situation for a second
then yell out
at the top of my voice
"praise jesus
its a miracle"   

an ode to bank tellers

they get quite offended
if you let the person behind you
in front of you
to take your turn
at their little station

but they certainly don't mind
fucking up
everything

my little friend

i have a little friend...she met this wonderful young man on the internet...they masturbated together in cyborg space day and night...it was beautiful...unfortunately however...his camera would not work properly...so...although he could see her...she could not see him...this went on for some time...vacations booked to visit each other...seemed to always fall apart...strange how things however can suddenly make sense with just one little piece of information...and what is this piece of information , you ask...lets just put it this way...he was a she...the end .