an ode to halloween...from the book / "dingo wombat...your nation"

last halloween i got my 85 year old
277 pound grandmother
who is in fact out of her fucking mind
to open the door
and hand out candy
to the neighborhood kids
completely naked 
some of the parents didn't like it
i just replied
"are your kids scared???"
they said
"yes"
"and is holloween supposed to be scary???"
they said
"yes"
so i said
"then what is your fucking problem???"