2758

it was 1985...me and a buddy were walking down this street where i used to live as a child...i prayed this simple prayer..."god , i would love to go inside my old house"...suddenly...a man came to the door and began to talk to us...i told him that i used to live there and he invited us in...(he was drunk)...i walk down this street all the time...here is the shit...every year or so it undergoes a mayor renovation...heres my theory...the energy of what happened in the 60's is still there...they know something is wrong...and the renovations are an overcompensation... life is full of over compensations...find out what a person is defining themselves by...often they are the exact opposite...most psychiatrists are nuts , for example...life should be a process of marrying the real inner self...to our persona...marrying what we do to who we are...luv stu

summer camping part 1

1978...i met this kid in camp...four years later...we become friends...soon after that...drinking buddies with his old man...about the same time...got it on with his sister...1988...i move to australia...by the time i come back...he is a young man...moves out of his house and rents a room from me...for whatever reason , however...he is living with his girlfriend...point...free beer...great romance and 300 bucks a month for doing sweet fuck all...yup...i love camping...luv stu

May 31

why religion cannot work

what is organized religion??? it is a collection of rituals...moral laws...and pre-programed behaviors that work together to define ones life...essentially...the true person is forsaken and replaced with a somewhat counterfeit person...this is opposed to real life...that is...being exposed for who you are...traveling on a journey that ultimately leads one back to ones self...this is the spiritual man...religion hides...spirituality exposes...no wonder why religion is so popular...people are afraid of themselves...dont be...love reveals all...live love...luv stu

tiger woods part 2 (we love you , tiger)

the reason why the shit really hit the fucking fan with tiger woods...is not because of what he did...but because of who he is...face it...if a hockey player did the same thing...not a fucking reporter in the world would give a crap...it would be just like saying..."extra , extra...read all about it...cow gives milk"...indeed...contrast makes all the difference...its like me being a nudest...i mean...if it were just me hanging out naked with my friends...only those dumb religious freaks who see sex in everything would have an issue with it...being a clergyman however...changes all the rules...anyway...its sunny and hot outside and i have no idea why i am still at this machine...luv stu

human sexuality part 8

the thing about being a 13 year old boy is...you can kick a soccer ball and have an orgasm...necessity is indeed the "mother of invention"...this is not good...in terns of masturbation...dont wait until you reach a point where you have to be creative to be creative...god gave you your body to enjoy...be loving with yourself...be wholesome...and be creative...there are many forms of art...let your relationships be an art form...and let your relationship with yourself be an art form too...luv stu

black lab

in case you havent heard...in recent history a black lab saved a little boy from the jaws of some god forsaken motherfucking cougar...heres the shit...he is a lab...he had no options...thats what labs do...love...fully... completely...a bull terrier , on the other hand , would have three options...save the childs life out of a sense of loyalty...eat the cat just for the fun of it...or... finally...sit there and lick its nuts while all the shit went down...in life...try to be the black lab...see no options to love...let it compel you in all you say and do...luv stu

my third girlfriend

it was 1981...we had been going out for a while...i couldnt put my fingure on it...it just wasnt working out...something wasnt right...it was over...now believe it or not...i have been praying about 3 to 4 hours per day since i was 16...result...you see a lot of shit...you learn a lot of shit...and sometimes...it doesnt line up with what you what you want to believe about yourself...point...i was to discover that i broke up with her..because she loved me...that was not my experience in life...it fucked up my subconscious...fact of the matter is..most people have a lot of screwy ideas in the back of their head...and they spend god knows how much energy trying to "make it work"...dont...deal with your shit or it will deal with you...luv stu

halloween

it was our "church" halloween party...about eight years ago...some went as batman...some went as giant rats...all kinds of shit...i...well...i went as a nude model...completely naked...it began a tradition...you know...if what i do ever catches on...ministers all over the place will be preaching while drinking beer and hanging out naked with their congregations...(the congregation doesnt...just me...long story)...it will go to fuck though...you know why??? i will tell you...the moment you become someone other than what you supposed to be...you curse yourself...cracks appear in your soul...and darkness grows in those cracks...after my suicide attempt in 1999...i looked at every fucking inch of my psychology...began to embrace myself...the nudest within and all...if it all goes to shit...at least it will be me that fucks it all up...not some fabrication of me...created by a bunch of freaks...just to make them happy...luv stu

tiger woods

ever since tiger woods "changed his ways"...his golf game has suffered profoundly...if he is sincere about his recovery...that would be wonderful...if not...then maybe he should just go with what he feels deep within...you know...get a tee-shirt that says..."fuck you...i will do what i god-dam well please"...show up with a drunk caddy...and make moves on "chicks" during the game...dont get me wrong...being beautiful is a far more noble path than being an adulterer...or whatever...i do have a point though...being real puts you in the place of true change...you know...ground zero...bullshit just leads to more bullshit...next thing you know...the person cannot be found...luv stu

May 28

May 26

human sexuality part 7

i play this fellow some van morrison...he says that he wants to hear more...what he is really saying , however , is that he is a lousy screw...her is the shit...your sex life is a mere representation of who and what you are...the secret of life is to be in the moment...to embrace every second...to lap it up...what he should have said is..."great fuckin album , mate"...that is the kind of person...when he is sucking some girls tits...he ain't thinking about the boston bruins losing to those god-forsaken flyers in seven games...boy that pissed me off...luv stu

nice doggy

me and a buddy were driving to new york to see dylan and "van the man" in concert...about 100 yards away...i see a big fucking dog...i look at him and quickly conclude that he got issues...to be specific...i figure he is possessed...he looks my straight in the eye...jumps to the ground...and the fucker attacks the car at about 30 miles per hour...smash...my buddy says...."what the fuck was that?"...i look out the back window to see his blood riddled hide limping away...still with that look in his eyes...one minute later...a flock of swans fly overhead...i never saw that before either...luv stu

steven strang part 2

it was the summer of 1974...i was asleep in bed when suddenly my mother cries..."stu...theres someone in the house"...i get my hunting knife and begin the stalk...i hear someone run down the stairs...my brother has a room on the first floor...(two distinct residences)...i open up his door and wake him up..."steve...theres someone in the house"...he just smiles at me...says one word..."good"...lifts up his pillow...and there i behold my brothers best friend...his gun...luv stu

the squid without the whale

if nothing else...this should be known as "the decade of the squid"...not only have we finally unraveled the mystery of the giant squid...but they also discovered another big mother fucking squid...not quite as huge...but ugly enough to more than compensate...apparently...this fellow lives at a level beneath the sea that we completely ignored...we went below it...we went above it...little did we know...there are gazillions of these freaks at the exact level we chose to ignore...heres the shit...maybe what we are looking for is right in front of us...its just hard to see with our head so passionately shoved up our ass...we look for love with all that we are...completely forgetting that we dont even know who we are...sure i want to be loved...but more importantly...i want to give the one i am loving...the biggest fucking rush in the solar system...in the words of saint francis...(if i remember correctly)..."seek not to be loved but to love"...luv stu

in boxes

india has the "cast system"...kinda fucked up , eh??? but heres the thing...in japan they define your worth by your job...in america...by your bank account...in england... your last name...everybody wants to put everybody in a fucking box and declare their net worth by that particular box...being a nude model and an ordained minister...you can just imagine the shit that came out of that...point...nobody gives a fuck if you are right or wrong...just how comfortable it makes them feel...and...oh yes...does it make them better than you...to learn the art of love,,,is to suffer...to deny the innate desire to get somewhere at the expense of others...live love...luv stu

my first girlfriend

april 1978...all we did was frig around in her room...she would jerk me off...i would fingure her...and then , guess what??? her mother would come in with milk and cookies...her timing was perfect too...it was like the whole thing was planned...weird , eh??? oh , yes...we also went to youth group...but that was it...occasionally one of us would have to go have a crap...but...litterally...nothing else happened...luv stu

prayer time

its christmas 1983,,,i am driving down the road to see my grandma in the hospital...i give a short little prayer..."lord...give me a safe drive"...immediately...some fuck stick slams into the side of my car...they were so repentant...until i got them on the phone the next day...its funny how that happens...we take responsibility for something...then pride fucks with our head...thank god...pride didnt fuck with the insurance companies head...we were both insured with the same company...hence...no need to screw with the facts...i dont like christmas that much anyway...i am more of a ground hog day kinda guy...luv stu

steven strang... part1

one of the first times i discerned i heard from god...i was 12 years old... lying in bed...and was spiritually told to look out the window...there i saw my brother...sleeping on a lawn chair...(he had run away from my father)...when i was 16...i had my spiritual awakening...it wasnt until i was 19 , however , that i was to see my brother again...i told him about the "god thing"...he promptly told me to fuck myself...got on his motorbike and drove away...next time i was to see him...1986...in a small square box...i am at peace...as i practiced love to the best of my ability...the dynamic is as follows...being loved by another is fine and wonderful...but what makes you a complete human is loving...no matter what someone thinks of you...luv stu

May 24

human sexuality part 6

the essence of fundamentalist religion is to define oneself by actions and the refrain from other actions...that is...reducing your person hood to rituals and behaviors that disregard the reality of the who and what you truly are...what has this to do with sexuality??? everything...there is very little difference between the spiritual life and the sexual life of an individual...that is...if you bastardize your spiritual life in such away...your sex life will be reduced to rubble as well...god wants us to be real...to connect with each other...love is the revealing of all things...religion is the hiding of all things...hide your real sexual identity...something horrible will take its place...hence...the need for more religion...be real...be naked...luv stu

george foreman

after regaining his well earned championship belt...in an interview george said...(more or less)..."he thought i was old...he was right...he thought i was slow...he was right...he thought i couldnt move like i used to...he was right...he thought i couldnt punch like i used to...he was wrong"...heres the shit...in the decision making process...miss out in one piece of information...and you are potentially fucked...control and manipulate all you want...you just dont have the tools to get the job done...simply love...and let go...see what happens...love never fails...luv stu

picture this

so there i am sitting on my couch...i look at a certain picture on the wall...and say..."fuck...thats an ugly picture"...immediately...it falls off...i get up... get dressed...go outside...come back a few hours later...another picture had fallen to the ground...but thats not the freaky part...you see...the picture directly above it...had somehow fallen onto its hanger and had taken its place...impossible , you say... nope...but i am not telling you how it happened for a while...luv stu

grapes

i remember when i was a child...playing outside with my brother and his friend...being essentially excluded...my father called me in...i thought i was fucked...time for another beating...he sat me down...and shared his grapes with me...(in a way...that probably fucked me up more than being hit)...anyway...when i think of my father...i try not to think of the rapist...the child beater...the raging alcoholic that ripped the phone off the wall...those things are all true...and only an idiot would deny that dynamic of the "relationship"...i try to think of them there grapes...green ones opposed to red..."what is true... good...pure and right...meditate upon these things"...we become what we hold before us...luv stu

May 21

maybe its just me

picture this...a gaggle of homosexual clergymen streaming down a church isle to hop up on a podium to collect some god-forsaken award for being heterosexual...you know...shitting on gay people in the name of jesus...demanding they cant be gay...even if god made them that way in the first place...maybe its just me...but i find this...you know...weird...luv stu

my last arm wrestle

walking a friend home one summers eve...we passed this frat house type place with these really big fucking guys drinking beer on the porch...for some stupid reason i say..."wanna arm wrestle???"...the first guy was 6 feet 10...about 300 pounds...it took every fucking ounce of strength and three minutes to put him down...the second guy was a 220 pound body builder...and i was too fagged out...next scene...at my buddies place...one more drink of rum...i look at him and say..."fuck it...i am going back"...rematch time...he goes into his room and grabs his w.w.f. championship belt...(he wasnt really the champ...but he sure looked like he could have been)...any way...what sweet kids...after us two dumb fuckers finished doing possibly permanent damage to our elbows...(i won , of course)...they invited me to be" guest of honor" at a wrestling thing-a-ma-jig the next week...booze...pizza...everything on them...and i never arm wrestled again... luv stu

my girl friend screwed santa

it was 1979...my second attempt at love...after a week at camp....i came home to see my girl friend on a two day break...and guess what??? she had moved to toronto ...fuck...i went to my buddies place to have a little sulk...and there he informed me...not only did she "piss off"...she also screwed some dude in a closet while we were" going steady"...next scene...mid eighties...christmas time...while on a little jont in the shopping mall...i couldnt help but notice that the store santa looked familiar...it was the guy who screwed my girlfriend in the closet...i felt honored...me and santa were almost like family...luv stu

May 19

flarms music review part 1

for eight years in the halifax area...there was "flarms music review"...a satirical look at life , the universe and everything...(it was my publication)...anyway...what made "flarms" so wonderful is because it was probably the only organic publication in the world...that is to say...it existed for the purpose of loving its advertisers and its audience...on many occasion i would turn down clients if i thought i was not potentially meeting their needs... i also would offer free advertising to someone in need...as for the content...it was designed to teach and expand...not meet a social standard that would make me the most money...and it did fucking great in every respect... love never fails...luv stu

church split

a long time ago...there was this church split...(in fact...to be specific...a denomination divided right down the middle)...on one side...we had the anti gay people...a frisky bunch of repressed or "closet" homosexuals who were determined to take the bible and use it as a weapon to punish practicing..."out of the closet"...homosexuals...for having the nerve to remind them of what they hated about themselves...one the other hand...we had a bunch that...at the very least...were grown up enough to realize that what consenting adults did in bed...wasnt their fucking business...you get my drift??? generally speaking...the anti gay...were gay...and the pro gay... were straight...fucked up , eh??? well...it would be fucked up if the rest of the world didnt ride the same fucking stupid cluster fuck of a train...luv stu

May 17

more on moses

so i am walking to a computer to type up some of this shit...theres a couple in front of me...they step aside so i can continue on my journey...i say to them..."im just like moses...parting the red sea"...they laugh...i continue...i get to the computer...randomly find a cartoon...fuck...its moses...parting the red sea...at this point i feel inspired...i write a paragraph...concerning moses being human and possibly enjoying a nice blow job...i then find another random cartoon...its moses...he says to his congregation..."sure i will part the red sea...but i can do it so much easier after a blow job"...anyway...gotta go...luv stu

unfair

sure as fuck...life is unfair...and the more you truly live it...the more unfair it becomes...that is to say...a life of love...is hard...however...i will choose unfair over anything else...as long as there is real love involved...luv stu

the loch ness monster

my guess is...way back when...some sea creature found an underground cavern...buggered through it...fucked around for a few days...realized there wasnt enough fish...fucked off...and from that point on...tourism...money...gift shops...clinically lonely...everything you can imagine found its way to the hearts and minds of the population...its just like religion...jesus appeared...told us to be nice to each other...blew out of town...next thing you know...money...power plays...disturbing sexual practices...self righteous judgment to overcompensate...(just like "the pope" giving jim cameron shit because his blue monkeys are into nature worship)...its all the same fucking thing...do you know what i like??? small tits...and do you know whats great about having a small tit in your mouth??? you cant speak out shit about everyone else...luv stu

human sexuality part 5

it seems to me that...more than the product being sold...advertising is about sex...human dynamics in general are about sex as well...fact of the matter...just about everything is about sex...with one exception...sex...thats hardly ever about sex....it may be about proving your manhood...maybe getting back at your mother...could be about a lot of things...heres the shit...next time you buy a car...make sure it has nothing to do with the size of your dick...and next time you go to bed with someone...make sure it has nothing to do with how the other kids wouldnt pick you for the hog calling contest...luv stu

May 14

angel in human form part 3

...so there i was in the hong kong airport...looking confused and stupid...then suddenly...from 3000 people and 60 meters away...this fellow yelled at me..."hey you with the funny hat"...(i had a funny hat)...he ran across the room...introduced himself...and helped me find my luggage...then...though he could have been on one of a gazillion planes...guess what??? he sits right next to me on my plane to australia...he said he was a missionary...then he proceeded to tell me in a somewhat cryptic way about my future...he had a weird sense of humor...but i will tell you this ...dear friends...as i was to eventually discover...his humor was so much more weird when he wasnt fucking around as a mere mortal...luv stu

what if

for the first time in years...i took the long way home from a particular friends place...i arrived to a certain cross walk about 8 to 12 seconds before i normally would...there before me...an automobile went through the stop sign at about 70 km per hour...heres one...i masturbated in my grade 7 geography class...(this was the 70's...if i had been caught...i would have been fucked)...point...do you ever wonder "what if ???"...i do...luv stu

moses

one of the many heros of the faith is moses...parted the red sea...10 commandments...and so on...but i will tell you another bit of information about moses...he liked having his dick sucked...like just about everyone else...and why is this not learned in sunday school??? my guess is...embracing normal human behavior...leads to normal human behavior...and my suspician is...organized religion does its best to omit normal human behavior...at the very least...confuse people...and how do we create a generation of perverts without teaching them denial and or fear of what it truely means to be human...luv stu

the dog

a friend of a friend of mine recently went to the states with their pet dog...it died...and being the dog lovers they are...they packed it in a suit case to bring it home for a proper burial...thing is...someone stole the fucking suit case...big fucking surprise they got...fact of the matter is...everything that isnt given to us...everything we take via our own power...is like stealing a dead dog...just love...and see what the tide of life...(call it god or whatever you want)...brings your way...in the immortal words of eric clapton..."see what love can do"...luv stu

the sitter

there was once this fellow who attended my ministry...he would sit down after the service and say sweet fuck all...he looked miserable...one day , however , he came with a brand new attitude...he smiled...talked...crap...it seemed like he was having the time of his life...and he never came back again...point...his misery was his comfort...it protected him from rejection...to enjoy was to be open to hurt...to live is to risk...so most confine themselves to safe patterns...maybe not as bad as "the sitter"...but you get my point...luv stu

the squid and the whale

until recently...there has been no concrete evidence to support the existence of the giant squid...they simply saw the scar marks on the sperm whale and drew the natural conclusion...that these fuckers were enemies...there are two types of people in the world...those who need to see the sperm whale to believe...and those capable of abstract thought...the truth of the matter is...most people dont know that their life is fucked...until they come home and see the postmans penis in their wifes mouth...dont be one of these...luv stu

May 12

how do you know you are a nudest

the year is 1972...a y.m.c.a. sleepover...all the kids go skinny dipping...besides me and my buddy...(this kind of behavior was not an issue until those fucking priests got found out in 1987)...for most people...life is just one overcompensation after another...your prototypical man in suit and tie...his mind is screwed beyond belief...life should be a process of marrying who you are to what you say and do...luv stu

organized religion

so there we were in "the garden of eden "...naked...fucking around...living an abundant life of love...suddenly...we decided to take control...write our own rules...and replace love with self righteousness...this ultimately became a multi billion dollar industry...what is organized religion??? us pretending to love each other...when love is not there...it is to distract us from finding "the way"...luv stu

the crow

...so this cat attacked and killed a crow...next day...as the cat was let outside...there were 30 crows waiting in the yard to kill it...the escape was narrow...are you aware that crows actually have funerals??? fucking amazing birds...luv stu

May 10

why???

i preached this sermon last week entitled..."why???"the dynamic is simple...we hide behind religion...tradition...culture...and the like...hinging our belief system upon what we have been taught...never asking ourselves the question why we believe what we do...is it true , for fuck sake??? i preached this sermon six years or so ago...completely drunk...i can tell you why it wasnt a good idea...it was fucking horrible...i preached another last year completely naked...it was a fine sermon...of course people would think this to be wrong...but if you ask them why...they simply attack your character...before you deem something to be wrong...find a good fucking reason why it is...otherwise...you are just pissing on someones parade...luv stu

the key

a long time ago...i bought this leather binder...worth a fucking fortune...but on sale for next to nothing...anyway...one day i attempted to fit the key into the lock...and...someone had taken the key and replaced it with another...i thought to myself..."what a prick"...and proceeded to forget the event...two years ago i was fondling with my binder...and this virtually audible voice said to me..."you are to have no secrets...not in a binder...nor within your heart"...it was not a human who had taken my key...luv stu

human sexuality part 4

before you join any religion...make sure it is not a non-masturbating religion...while not necessairly evil...non-masturbation religions are very perverse and want to control your life...indeed...all who want to control normal sexual behavior are cannibals of one sort or another...as it says in the bible..."touch not the unclean thing"..luv stu

human sexuality part 3

making love is just that...where there was nothing...there now is a beautiful expression of sharing and compassion for one another...it is not about the self...it is a gift...there is a place for making love being about the self...its called masturbation...which...among other things...should be a time of self discovery...truely...you have never had sex...until it becomes a giving thing before anything else...luv stu

the geese

last year i got stripped of my ordination...probably because of my cartoons...(i didnt have the time to waste to completely find out)...anyway...my point is that my cartoons are very important to me...my geese are not there to piss people off...they are simply a representation of the human condition without the dynamic of true love operating within...further...it seems to me that the people who get pissed off the most...are the ones whos hearts are kindred...the absence of love is to point us to love...the geese are there to teach...there...said it...luv stu

May 7

human sexuality part 2

one aspect of growing sexually...is growing in terms of your ability to communicate...to be in touch with who and what you are...then expressing it verbally..."you have not because you ask not"...the bottom line is that people are unique in just about every way...getting in touch with that uniqueness should not be embarrassing...it should be amazing...and this obviously includes talking to your partner about your sexuality...to be free is to experience yourself...in love...to your full potential...further...how you interact in bed...will be reflected in how you interact in other circumstances...luv stu

angel in human form part 2

...so i walk into the local art school to apply for the job of nude model...(a job i had done a couple years before),,,somehow i got lost and ended up in the basement...there i see the back of a man...(he never once looked at me)...he says..."hi , stu...going up to the fourth floor to apply for modeling , eh?"..."yup"...i say... now , i dont even know this guy but somehow it made sense...point...if you are an ordained minister and a nude model...god apparently has to go out of his way to tell you...its o.k...luv stu

angel in human form part 1

...so i am on the water front and this glowing man who i had never seem in my life walks up to me and says..."are you stephen strang?"...i reply..."no...thats my brother...im stu strang"...he gives me a sad look and replies..."yea...stephen died in a hunting accident"...i proceeded to tell him that my brother was just fine...however...within a month or so...my brother did indeed die in a hunting accident...luv stu

reality...what a concept

i wrote a sermon on the seven reasons why people get married...fear...co-dependence...etc...sooner or later , however , it all gets real...heres a question...how many guys would get married...if they could suck themselves off??? reality...what a concept...luv stu

May 5

walk on

superbowl sunday 2009...my father blew his head off right in front of his wife...question...how does one redeem such an act??? it all comes back to love...i mean... the man threatened to kill me when i was six...my point...the fact that god has given me the capacity to love is a gift...where would i be if not for gods mercy??? its not about indulging in how fucked up another is...its choosing to love and embracing the hard fact that love is a way of life...not an emotion...the gift of life only matters through love...and not a fucking soul will take that away from me...luv stu

sexuality part 1

it seems to be common for people to separate themselves into fragments...mental... sexual...spiritual and so on...this is not , however, correct...we are one and everything is intertwined with everything else...point...our sexuality is a manifestation of our spirituality...one who has embraced the essence of love...who has an alive and vibrant spirit...will have a dynamic sexual expression...shit , man...i am almost 50 and am having the best orgasims of my life...an alive spirit leads to an alive sexual being...love explodes...and will lead to other explosions...luv stu

sandwich shop

there used to be this sandwich shop just across the street from where i lived...anyway...we had this deal...i would come in for breakfast in my bath robe...and food was free...(not all the time)...people would ask me what the fuck i was doing in my bath robe...fact of the matter is...it was a hell of a lot more comfortable than what they were wearing...i also had this tee shirt that read..."i love you because you are"...that made people even more uncomfortable...funny what we learn in life...luv stu

the anglican

i saw this guy that i used to know years ago...i said..."so you have become an anglican , eh???"...he asked me how i knew that...easy...become spiritually aware enough...you can see energy as well as you can see the physical...luv stu

insanity

there are two types of insanity in this world...love...putting another in front of yourself...family doesnt count...thats biology...and insanity...that qualifies as insanity as well...it is only in true love that we discover what the fuck is really going on down here...it is a rare thing...it is not well understood...but it is the only thing that matters...luv stu

May 3