wanting things

our morality serves various purposes...as healthy as constructing a method of dealing with life that creates a barrier between ourselves and the perpetuation of harmful behavior...as unhealthy as allowing us to hide away the issues of the heart...fact of the matter is the heart is far more important than the actions that we indulge in...for example...two people who love each other having sex is far healthier than a married couple using each other for sex...and this is where religion comes in...creating morality that disregards the reality of the situation...strange...the actual state of the heart is one of the few things jesus seemed to care about...point...move away from wanting things to giving things...and you will not have to worry about any form of morality...live luv .

the great deception

there is only one truth...that is love...the fact of the matter is that christianity has done everything in its power to disguise this from the people...that is to say...rituals...morality taken from scriptures and god-only-knows where else...a demented sexual ethic...etc...have all worked together to create this cloaking device...to hide this beautiful and eternal truth...you may have wondered if i am "new age" or "cut out" of some similar cloth...the truth is...it ain't my fault that christianity has become pagan...(us demanding to control all as opposed to us being exposed by ALL)...i have seen jesus christ personally three times...and i will tell you this...he is not impressed with any of this bullshit...we hide behind religion...so come out!!! be alive!!! and live the love that god has given you to live...luv stu

Dec 21

principal of the moment december 19 2010

we see...we desire...we take...it does not fulfill...we justify...we begin to become numb...we take some more...such is the path of the moment...the spiritual human sees only love...and desires only love...the person of spirit knows that to take is to mix pure water with a poisonous sponge...that is...to begin to destroy the spiritual dynamic within...this is not simply sex that i am referring to...even a small lie is to take something that does not belong to you...(maybe an unreal evaluation of your personhood)...take nothing...as it will not be real...only love is real...and love cannot be taken...only given...otherwise...it is not love...live luv.

December 17

reverse universe

did you ever look in a lake and see your reflection??? it is you...but it is not you...furthermore...it is the opposite of you...i propose to you this...the universe in which we inhabit...is essentially the same dynamic...it is a mere reflection of the real universe...LOVE...it seems real because we are caught in the middle of it...but it will fall apart and crumble away simply to prove its finiteness and its mortality...roughly translated...someday all shall pass...but faith...hope and love...and you know the rest...live luv

leaving to get home december 11 2010

the story of the prodical son...when he was home...he was not home...after he left...his heart returned home long before his body...nothing is what it seems...the physical universe is basically a joke...its rules will some day be forsaken...even now their uses are limited...the real universe is love...and there you should live...simply utilizing the dynamics of the physical universe to perpetuate love...case in point...that woman you are sleeping with...if it is not love...then you are not really sleeping with her...it just seems that way...live luv .

discerning ones idenity part two

people are more than willing to reveal themselves...however approach is contingent upon this happening...1-give them "power"...if they abuse it...this reveals , essentially , all about them...fact of the matter...you can discern just about every dynamic of ones sexuality by the way they handle power...2-show weakness...the vultures will indeed come out to play...and...3-the asshole factor...eventually we will all be seen as assholes for some reason or another...if they want to destroy someone for their personal frailties...sooner or later...they will want to destroy you...but remember...getting one to reveal all...is for the health of those involved...any malice...it will eventually backfire...live luv .

discerning ones idenity part one

the way you do not discern ones identity is obvious...asking them...this is true because...1-they do not know who they are...2-they will bullshit you to get more leverage in "the game of life"...3-people are afraid of the consequences of honesty...point...knowledge of who you are dealing with is important and must be attained...not for selfish reasons...(if your motive is wrong...things will inevitably go wrong)...but so you can navigate to find safety and so you can do the most loving thing the circumstance allows...live love .

December 7

my cartoons

some of you may not understand or appreciate the dynamic that my cartoons are attempting to explore...fact of the matter is that there is no difference between my theology and my cartoons...they both explore human nature at its most fundamental level...they simply look at the same thing from a different point of view...if they disturb you...no offense...but it is probably because you see yourself within the context of their behavior...in essence...i am simply attempting to look at human nature from under a microscope...enjoy...live luv .

December 3

November 30

stiff neck people nov 20 2010

you just cant see a thing with your head up your ass...truth is no longer there to be found...so we invent a false truth...an alternative universe...then we pursue its priorities with unbridled passion...intellect...wealth and politeness...allow us to mask the situation...the fact that most others are chasing the same crap works to ones advantage as well...yet the truth remains...it cannot be shaken...all that matters is love...live luv .

November 26

homeward bound nov. 13 2010

a friend of mine once said..."the same mouth that bites the hand that feeds it...licks the boot that kicks it"...all too true....fact of the matter is...most have either been given a "raw deal" during childhood...or believe they have...(often...the more you give someone...the more they feel deprived)...anyway...it is adam and eve kind of shit...humans simply like to fuck things up...SO STOP IT!!! have the humility and the passion to become aware that life is simply going around the same self destructive cycle...with different scenery as you get older...you are still alive...and where there is life there is hope...choose love...only love can break those patterns and take you out of the jungle...all the way back home...live luv...luv stu

November 22

November 19

true religion nov.6 2010

the reason why there is organized religion...is simple...it is very much like the cloaking device the clingons have in star trek...you see...the truth is love...love not being an emotion as much as it is a spiritual thing that heals...guides and facilitates relationship...religion confuses the subject...as jesus said..."a form of godliness but denies the power there of"...religion is when arrogant self-righteous people somehow end up in power...and use it as a means to their own end...hiding behind god is very clever...it scares and confuses good people...and as for the abuse...people are attracted to it as it reminds them of their childhood...indeed...there are good people in organized religion...but just think about it...does it really seem divinely inspired??? luv stu

November 15

November 12

the picture

so i am walking down bell road...and i look down on the ground...and i find a picture...that is...it is a picture of a friend of mine from years before...we had a falling out of sorts over the homosexual issue...he told me that he could not continue to support my ministry unless i condemned homosexuality...i told him to fuck off...and that was the end...anyway...he lives 100's of miles away...question...what was a picture of him doing on bell road??? i will probably find out...luv stu

November 10

November 8

November 3

November 1

the labels

i am walking to this particular destination...and i find two labels from broken bottles...no broken bottles...just the labels...the weird bit...they both have my name on them...stewart...(from stewarts soft drink fame)...anyway...i come back the next week...and there is a third...obviously from a completely smashed non-existent bottle...there is a theory that the laws of physics are about to be fucked with...i mean...why not??? they are , like all else , created to harmonize with our understanding of the universe...my point...what if these laws change from time to time...how would we know...in terms of real time...we have only been here for a few jerked-off seconds...luv stu .

life continues part 1

i see this notice on a wall...it is by some girl i had not seen in a long time...in seconds ...i find an umbrella...two days later...i see her on the street...minutes later...i find an umbrella...there are cosmic forces we don't understand...apparently...they have something to do with umbrellas and hot women...luv stu

Oct 27

October 25

the art of bing stupid october 24 2010

the art of being stupid...involves being aware you are stupid...to know yourself...is to have a map of the universe...a stupid person who can navigate...will have more fruitfulness than one who is brilliant but is lost in the dark...embrace yourself...let light shine...then the road will be easy to follow...luv stu

October 22

October 18

new morning october 16 2010

we are imprinted very young...then we spend the rest of our lives playing out the pattern...point...how do we stop??? how does the circle become a straight line??? indeed...it takes true spirituality...embracing the dynamic of love to an immeasurable extent...humility will allow us to see...and passion will carry us into a new morning...luv stu

dynamics :

1-we are imprinted
2-an awareness of this develops
3-humility...love...and passion...take us on a new direction
4-these things...as well as our experiences...help us to relearn
5-we remain organic...pliable to new discoveries

live love

jeff the crow

so this painter is outside painting this picture...suddenly a crow appears beside him and begins to put his beak inside the paint and thrust it upon the canvas...hence...the crow is ,in fact , helping him to paint the picture...eventually...the painter begins to realize that the crow reminds him of his friend , jeff...so he calls him jeff...and they continue to paint the day away...then...the phone rings...his friend jeff...is dead...luv stu

October 15

the fact of the matter is...part 3

so there i was in this book store...and my intuition told me to pick up this book...i did...i opened it up to a bit where this person was talking about masturbation...it read...more or less...that masturbation was beginning to be seen as a normal aspect of human life...and that this must stop...because it is fear and guilt concerning such things that allows for people to be controlled...the fact of the matter is...any one who is attempting to control your spirituality or your sexuality...is one dirty, mean and dangerous mother fucker...so do not be the victim...or the perpetrator...luv stu...oh , by the way...the name of the book..."the satanic bible".

October 12

the fact of the matter is...part 2...

i will bite...politics...fuck...here is the shit...what seems to be happening in the u.s.a. is actually not...there is an addiction to immediate gratification and fear...the republicans offer both...(this is not to say there is not a valid reason for fear)...anyway... mr. obama's offered dynamic of reason...strategy...and abstract thought does not play into the equation...the fact of the matter is that people just want to be comfortable...and if they have learned bad habits...then it is the perpetuation of these bad habits that offer comfort...how does america" kick ass" like in the good old days??? easy...fuck reality shows...fuck music with no meaning...fuck everything stupid...and educate the population with art...music that has depth...(neil young rules)...and teach the little bastards to really love each other...change the mind and the rest will follow...luv stu

October 8

fact of the matter is...pt1...

in case you have not noticed...our culture is just about emotionally retarded...far as i can see...the two greatest accomplishments of the last 50 years is the semi-acceptance of homosexuality...and embracing the art of masturbation...fuck...these should be "no-brainers"...here is the shit...there is some chick running around "the greatest country in the history of the planet"...trying to convince people that masturbation is morally wrong...i wont even dignify this with a response...fact of the matter is...if you have any concern for the youth of our planet...then this silliness should be turned into an opportunity to communicate...not only about masturbation...but about sexuality in general...talk...listen...breathe truth and light...o , yes...if you are some type of pervert...please disregard all the above...luv stu

October 6

the mirror january 16 2010

we see in others what we desire...and define them by this dynamic...but what if they simply live love...at this point...all we will see is our own agenda...our own selfish fucked up "empire" will be reflected back to us...question...how will we feel about them...will this teach us humility??? or...will we want to string them up to a tree??? luv stu

October 4

October 1

September 29

glorify or bastardize may 15 2010

the moment someone idolizes you...be afraid...it is human nature to go to one extreme to another...it is the spiritual person who walks in balance...love is balance...the more our love grows...the less we flatter...the less we hold others in contempt...live love...luv stu

strange adventures 5262 sackville st. halifax n.s.

the only great adventure...is a strange one...strange adventures...where the line between fantasy and reality...is a heck of a lot of fun...strange adventures...the adventure part...is for you to decide...strange adventures...where your imagination is as important as the rest of you.....................all of us here at flarmology would like to thank cal and the entire strange adventure staff for their friendship and support over the last...well...close to a decade now...best small business in the galaxy...luv stu

September 27

September 24

falling apart may 22 2010

what happens when things begin to fall apart??? simple...truth is no longer a comfortable form of communication so it is replaced by...1-violence...2-deceit...and...3-justification...the difference between a human life becoming unraveled and an animal dying on the street is mainly the honesty displayed by the latter party...the fact of the matter is us humans think we can fuck up all in front of our greedy little eyes and somehow it will go to a good place...it wont...embrace with humility what you have done...then turn around...luv stu

September 22

family may 29 2010

anything healthy and peace loving that ever happened in my family...happened over a bucket of kentucky fried chicken...our hands could not hit...and our mouths were full...(why this did not work with other foods...fuck only knows)...point...it is not the blood line that makes family...it is spirit...your family are those who truly love you...do not limit sex...sexual preference...color...or whatever..."my family...are those who do the will of my father"...luv stu

change will do you good september 18 2010

hard to find out where you are going when you do not know where you are...how does the human condition change...(reach enlightenment)...our relationships...our love...our intuition...our circumstances...all bring us closer to our real idenity...or further away...god is light...let him make you into who you were created to be...luv stu

September 20

September 17

September 15

taking things june 5 2010

there are different ways to be a thief...it is better to have your car stolen than your emotional health...people are not metaphors for you to project your shit upon...they are not there to complete you...give love...your holes will slowly be filled...on the other hand...take...and you will need more...life is a paradox...the aspects of love are anyway..."give and it shall be given onto you"...live love...luv stu

dynamics :
1-need...it comes with the human condition
2-acknowledge need
3-give it over to a higher power
4-let time...circumstance...and humility...reinvent your human profile
5-be organic...open for further growth and development

live love

Sept 13

money

money buys privacy...and privacy allows us to hide away and appear to be reasonable human beings...but we are not...result...money allows us to be even more fucked up than would naturally occure...point...be careful what you wish for...luv stu

the borg july 24 2010

the reason why we desire others to be like us is quite simple...we fear that our own identity is somewhat lacking...therefore...others must confirm that the road we have chosen is the right one...religion helps...everyone not only acting the same...but convincing themselves that it is gods will to perform in a particular manner...this lack of identity is always followed by violence...violence is the fruit of believing the wrong thing...truth needs no protection...truth speaks for itself...love is truth...and reveals all things...luv stu

why april 17 2010

i preached a sermon drunk once...i preached a sermon naked once...the institution of christianity would essentially deem both inappropriate...however...this is simply because they never ask the question..."why?"...i can tell you why the drunk thing was not appropriate...the sermon sucked...that is why...as for the naked thing...let us just say...don't let the bastards turn you into a sheep...use discernment...logic and prayer to lead you into all truth...just don't believe something because some jack-ass scared you into it...luv stu

the love guru

the "love guru" program...doing just fine...check it out on "video jug pages"...the "love and dating channel"...love stu

Sept 8

you and me april 24 2010

when people talk about others...often they are referring to themselves...we see in others who we are...the more loving someone is...the more likely we are talking about ourselves when we talk about them...it is like this...if someone is fucking us around...that is what we see...nothing else really to see...the moment that this is replaced with love , however...we are now able and willing to begin to project ourselves upon them...hence...they become responsible for all the crap we have failed to resolve within our personhood...luv stu

Sept 6

Sept 3

September First

fools july 31 2010

what we desire usually becomes our god... not a very good god either...dead...cold.... not real...and we become the same...fools , by all accounts...time to defend god...violence...accusations...projection...self righteousness...and pity...become our chief weapons ...fucked , eh??? love is truth...no foolishness here...love is wisdom...embrace it and stop being an idiot...luv stu

Aug 30

milk truck

i saw a milk truck for the first time in about 40 years last week...and do you know where it was the last time i saw one??? the same fucking spot...give or take a foot...luv stu

selfrighteous existance june 19 2010

hitler was obviously a homosexual...that is...a homosexual that learned "safe behaviors" as a way to compensate for who he really was...and this is common to the entire human race...we repress...justify...develop new patterns...and proceed down an artificial road...pretending that it is not...inevitably...things get really fucked up...usually not as fucked up as in hitler's case...non-the-less...really fucked up...indeed...it takes a warrior to look at himself...and make the right conclusions...love reveals all...luv stu

what is going on june 26 2010

the inability to accept ourselves goes to a pretty fucked up place...example...hitler was probably gay...and his overcompensation lead to some really fucked up shit...point...be a warrior...accept yourself for who you are...(opposed to developing some sort of alternative behavior)...learn to live with yourself...learn to love yourself...luv stu

where the wild things are march 20 2010

we somehow expect others to make our lives better...we never say this...in fact...most would deny it at gun point...but it is true...it is also commonly referd to as idolatry...love is to be first...then allow life and people to find their own place...live love...luv stu

control august 21 2010

we have no control...just the illusion of control...even if we could...we would never know what we were controlling...not enough information , my little puppy-cats...we just know what stimulates us...not a fucking clue where it would lead us...best thing to do...control our hearts...focus upon love and nothing else...let it carry us to our true destination...luv stu

salvage august 14 2010

what is there to salvage when a relationship is over??? we salvage the memories...we salvage the beauty of forgiveness...we salvage the lessons learned...what happened cannot be changed...but we can respond to the situation...anyway we so choose...luv stu

homophobia

here is the shit...about 10% of this universe is gay...another 10% is completely straight...80% are fucking around somewhere in between...and guess where you find all the ones up tight and paranoid about homosexualty??? yup...of course they all hide behind the bible or whatever...but the truth is simply...if you cant accept something within your self...others will pay dearly for it...luv stu

Aug 20

australia part 4

bible college graduation...do you know what happens when you tell a guy that he cant have sex...masturbate...drink...smoke...or whatever...for two years??? (not that it stopped me)...i will tell you what happens...he goes downtown...gets drunk right in front of the bible college faculty...takes off his clothes and goes skinny dipping...has a great fucking time...luv stu

australia part 3

do you really want to know what i loved about australia??? meat pies...i would come home from work 3 or 4 in the morning...and wait until 6...when the meat pie shop opened...fucking fresh as the universe at the time of creating...if you ever go to australia...dont forget to eat a meat pie...my favorite...steak and bacon...luv stu

Aug 18

australia part 2

what i didnt like about australia...were all the times teachers stood up in front of the class and told everyone that i was a big fucking asshole...i mean...they didnt use the word "fucking"...because that would be unchristian...non-the-less...they got their point across...luv stu

australia part 1

my friend and myself are drinking non-alcoholic wine (long story)...anyway...we finish the third bottle and the first is full again...just like jesus and his disciples...at the time i thought i was imagining things...not any more...luv stu

what i was told by gabriel part 4

material possessions...for the most part...are from this world...therefore...not exactly real...not bad in themselves...they can confuse the matter...possessions are best when they help perpetuate the kingdom of god...that is...utilized to build relationships...live luv

Aug 11

Aug 9

selah part 21

now how does one conclude this adventure??? how about this...two weeks ago...at a buddies place...gabriel was obviously fucking around...(time does not really exist...he gets off on telling me things that are going to be said before they are actually said)...i couldnt help notice that the atmosphere was just a tad strange...angels were there...a lot of them...anyway... i go in the kitchen for some reason or another...and there before me...was...i wont tell you who...just let me say this however...it was jesus...luv stu

selah part 20

now what the fuck is selah??? in the 70"s and onward...yours truly found a plethora of kids essentially...well...steeped in the bothersome task of being more sensitive and more intelligent than the rest of the human race...faces came and went...love was tried and tried again...the seed grew into a very unique and beautiful plant...the whole world hated me for not fitting into the system...the fuckers...god bless their hearts...did every fucking thing they could...short of tar and feathering me...to get me out of town...broken and hardly alive...with my dick in one hand and beer in the other...i simply did not go away...nor did the people that really loved me and loved love as well...essentially , dear friends...this is selah...luv stu

Aug 6

selah part 19

in the tub again...someone is there again...i fucking know it...but still cant see anyone...it was the third night...october 2008...he walks in the room...not man...not god...somewhere in the middle...he smiles...he introduces himself..."my name is gabreil"...and behind him...yup...you guessed it...micheal...we talk...we begin our relationship...it will evolve into something unbelievable...so many things to learn...you know...i have only rented...(when by myself)...one movie since this dynamic entered my life...too fucking amazing to let go...the only question...why me??? luv stu

selah part 18

before i tell you what you probably already know...(if you have been following)...let us talk of a halloween party...first part of the zero decade...costume party , it was...and i went as a nude model...you know...naked...and from that day forward i would wear no clothes at selah...i mean besides when i was preaching...and how did this effect the dynamic of the group , you ask...by this time...our church had become a family...still some "weeding out" to do...but a family non-the -less...organic relationship is real...church is institutionalized relationship...that is...various forms of rituals that help one avoid the truth of what is really going on...luv stu

Aug 5

selah part 17

my community sent me on a vacation...(two years ago in two weeks time)...stayed in the woods...went for hikes...drank in the bath tub...cried over a relationship that had fallen on hard times...but something was different...strange...there i was in the tub...listening to either the cooper brothers or the beatles...abby road...fuck...somebody was there...i couldnt see him...but he brought a present...joy unspeakable...when my best friends wife died...i went to another friends house that night so we could cry...drink...and such...on the way to his car...i accenintally threw my sweater down the garbage shoot...so screwed up that i thought it was the garbage...when i got to the car ,however...there it was in the back seat...had a hunch...the guy by my tub...the same guy who put my sweat there...but this time...he wanted to give me more than a sweater...intimacy...luv stu

selah part 16

sometimes when you run away from something...you run right into what you were running away from...fuck...probably most of the time...due to circumstances too painful to relate...i just wasnt capable...of giving kids the time and love they need...there are very few important lessons to learn from life...just lessons of love...and how to appreciate good music...rising to the occasion...is one of those lessons in love...two beautiful little girls...now that there mother was gone...needed mr. stu to become uncle stu...sometimes the hardest things in life...are also the most rewarding...i just hope i did a good fucking job...luv stu

selah part 15

i walk into the bank...someone in front of me says to someone behind me..."how ya doing???" the reply...not too well...one of my best friends just died"...then he says the name...i know him...his brother was a good friend of mine as a child...but there is more to it than that...i feel something...this is no coincidence...next day...i see his brother for the first time in years...walking around in a grocery store...in some kind of state of shock...over the next three months...three people i love dearly all die prematurely...one of which...my best friends wife...luv stu

Aug 2

selah part 14

in a two year period...i was attacked approximately 200 times in the night and or early morning by demonic forces...i identified 6 to 9 uniquely different spiritual entities...at first...it was a clusterfuck...they held me down...i was helpless... i could barely say the name..."jesus"....and i would somehow be set free from their grasp...by the end...the roles were reversed...i could do push ups with the fucking creatures on my back...i could describe this shit until the "cows come home"...but i wont...suddenly...it was gone...within days , however...it would be replaced by something far worse...death...luv stu

selah part 13

the phoenix is a mythological creature that raised out of the ashes of decay and ruin into a new dynamic of life and existence...so it was with myself and selah...the sociological explosion was gone...replaced by the beginnings of a community that would ferment and develop in an organic manner over the next 11 years...as for myself...part of my brain was fried...i had to admit it...everything else about myself had to change to regain balance...i lost 40 pounds...shaved my head...refocused my direction...teamed up (artistically) with possibly the most brilliant man in the universe...(scott c.)...and began the most unique and unbelievable publications in the world...("flarms music review")...but there was now a new enemy...as ruthless and as diabolical as the institution of religion i had just been in battle with..his name...the devil...no seriously...i had to fight satan himself...luv stu

selah part 12

...lets just say...everything went to hell...i almost lost my life...almost everyone i loved was gone...broke...virtually every fundamentalist church east of montreal was slandering me... and the boston bruins still couldnt win a playoff round...and how did i make my comeback???easy...i got myself involved with another woman...and this time....she beat me up physically...(at least i wasnt making the same mistake)...FUCK!!! is this the end of of the good reverend??? nope...in the words of the great morgan freeman..."you get busy living...or get busy dying"...i would spend 100 days traveling europe...(read" bastard windows")... come home...and try again...luv stu

selah part 11

did you ever wonder why "christians" are so preoccupied with sex??? i lost 400 dollars per month sponsorship because a friend of mine moved in with his soon to be wife a few months before they got married...150 because i like getting my dick sucked...and another 60 because i did not think that homosexuality was a sin...in 23 years of ministry i have never seen anyone get shit for bitterness...(though i did see a "murderer" become a celebrity)...anyway...here is my point...hanging around people like this...maybe i fucking well deserved what i got...luv stu

July 30

selah part 10

as a side note...i was also...between 95 and 99...attending this church that met on a university campus...i remember preaching a sermon on the 4 levels of community...i referred to them as a level 3...that is...void community...or community that lacks direction but inevitably ends up as a level 1 or 2...(dictatorship or polite)...or ...possibly...a level 4...that is...community that is loving and transparent...fuck...didnt my phone ring off the hook...thing is...everyone accused me of something besides me suggesting they didnt know what the fuck was going on...they were not a bad bunch of people...just lost...besides...a found a great friend within their midst...luv stu

selah part 9

being traumatized was bad enough...now i added a woman to my issues...not just any woman either...a good friend for years...minutes after the proposal it all changed...faking drowning...faking comas...my buddy jon watched as she drove down the street with me on the hood of the car...i cant remember how i finally got off...it was the most fucked up thing possible...i remember coming to her home for supper and finding 3 or 4 meals on the table...each one in a different stage of decomposition...under normal circumstances...i could have dealt with it...but this was 1999...4 years of p.t.s. and the shit that came with it had taken its toll...how did i finally end it??? i left a message on the phone...thats all i could do...and boy did i get fucking shit for that...i was "the man" and everybody wanted to see me fall...and fall i did...luv stu

selah part 8

falling apart is not what it seems if you are tough as fucking nails...1995 to 1998 had a lot of fucking merits..."friday night at stu's" was one of the more joyful experiences...we drank...listened to music...and yours truly simply reflected upon what already had become the most dynamic and bizarre christian ministry imaginable...i was too functional for someone in my situation...it could have gone either way...then i "fell in love"...and the writing suddenly appeared on the wall...luv stu

selah part 7

after everything went to shit...(as previously stated)...i spent a year like nothing happened...i kept waiting for the phone to ring...someone to tell me it was a joke or a mistake...that all came to an end however one night when when i woke up in a cold sweat...my heart pounding like an elephant dashing to a sure fuck...it was the beginning of post traumatic stress...depression...and my life as a magician...that is to say...find yourself in deep shit...and watch people that you thought loved you mysteriously disappear...luv stu

July 28

camping and pizza

camping...once again...supper time...cook outside over an open fire??? no fucking way...i take some "orders"...get into my car...and drive about 30 miles or so and pick us up some pizza...now many people would say that this is not in the spirit of camping...but let me ask these people this...did you ever hear of sending out for pizza during a camping trip??? didn't think so...and in my world...nothing beats unique...luv stu

what i learned in church part 3

people screw the way they "worship god"...next time you are in church...look around you...what are you seeing??? luv stu

what i learned in church part 2

if they say they are a non-masturbating church...remember...they are probably lying about everything else too...luv stu

what i learned in church part 1

if someone says they love you...run like a fucking scolded cat...luv stu

July 26

July 23

July 21

...and in the end...

...some day t.e. will move his wonderful little family back to nova scotia...it wont be like the old days however...as i will have been brutally murdered by some piece of shit who doesnt like my theology...i know you think thats fucked...but maybe i think it is fucked that you dont know your destiny...ever think of that??? anyway...here you are with yours there i am with mine...and the truth of the matter is...nobody is assured of tomorrow...and all we really own is our story...t.e. got to travel the world...and i got to travel parallel dimensions...and all i can say , mr t.e...are two things...first...thank you for some of the richest memories possible...and finally..."it just never got weird enough for me"...i would die for you , my friend...luv stu

t.e. part 9

...so there we were at the halifax film festival...mr. micheal moore being the main attraction...we walk in to the festivities...eat all their food...drink all their booze...just like the old days...(t.e. moved away in 94...dont see each other a lot from the other side of the world)...something is missing however...neither one of us has" fucked the dog" yet...you know...controlled the situation for the sake of laughter and good cheer...oh well...i guess its my turn...the show is over...lights go on...the band leaves...piss eyed drunk...i hop on the stage and tell the crew there is an announcement...p.a. goes back on...everyone is attentive..."we are having a fundraiser to fight v.d. in the back of the hall"... the security guards come...i run away...you are never too old , my children...luv stu

t.e. part 8

...so there we are at the sub sandwich shop...the fucker gives me a stale bun...he wont replace it either...luckily...the cops are right across the street...but do you think they care...no!!! wouldnt shoot the fucker or anything...so i get on the phone...(its right outside the shop)...and pretend i am a lawyer...i tell him i am gonna take him to the fucking cleaners...t.e...says..."yea , cleaners"...we went for a drive...t.e. understood my pain...never went there again...(actually...i think the sub guy had a gun)...luv stu

from stu

...hit my "love guru" button on the right hand side of my page...sure you will love it!!! luv stu

t.e. part 7

so yours truly is "in love" with this "southern bell"...i write her...tell her of my intentions...and she replies...she indeed feels the same way...i call up all of my friends...tears in my eyes... its love for sure!!! suddenly...i look at the writing style...familiar indeed...mother fucker!!! yup...you guessed it...t.e. forged a letter...next day...ironically...i get in his car...we are driving across the continent...t.e. is getting married...t.e. says to me..."any mail lately???" i reply..."nope"...forgive...forget...fuck...lets face it...it kinda was funny...and his wedding was insanely wonderful...luv stu

t.e part 6

suddenly t.e. is in the mood for a swim...we go to the local "woolco" store...buy some boxer shorts...then proceed to sneak into one of the most affluent hotels in the city...the guests quietly leave...they are quickly replaced by the management...just about to open his mouth...but t.e. beats him to it..."waiter...get me a wine cooler...i am thirsty"...buddy has a stupid look on his face...he wasnt expecting this...i cant remember if we got our coolers...they werent allowed at the pool...but that usually is not an issue for my friend...anyway...we had a good swim...luv stu

t.e. part 5

as a young man...i guess my calling card was getting sing songs going in movie theaters before the show began...dont think i would try that today...the fabric has fallen out of society...the shit has hit the fan...and the penis has been sucked right off the monkey...t.e...thank you for the memories...luv stu

t.e. part 4

...so...t.e. and i worked our way to c.b.c. to propose an idea for a tele show...t.e. came up with this spectacular idea and so we found our way to the top office...it was going great...t.e. was on a roll...right until the time yours truly made fun of their # 1 show...we were quickly shown the door...as for the show...they didnt need our idea...i mean...the very next season...a show premiered that was exactly the same as t.e.s idea...wait a minute...crap...no...i mean...nobody would steal a show...would they??? luv stu

t.e. part 3

t.e. and i were downtown...there were these punk kids...you know...tough guys...looking for a fight...i took one look and thought to myself...what these kids needed was to learn some camp songs...within minutes we had them all singing..." brown squirrel...shake your bushy tail"...complete with actions...what was t.e.s part in the whole thing??? simple...he was the inspiration...the worlds best motivator...luv stu

t.e. part 2

we started off small...we hooked up a p.a. system to his car...and drove around town...advertising our fast food franchise..."rat on a stick"..."get your rat on a stick"...i would bellow...years later...a rumor circulated that i kept frozen rats in my fridge...as a minister...i heard close to 30 rumors about myself...i assume this was the origin...best rumor..."stu strang is christianitys version of hunter s. thompson"...i think they meant it as an insult...who the fuck knows...luv stu

t.e. part 1

until recently...t.e. lived virtually next door to an infamous world dictator...a dictator that despised cats...seizing the moment...t.e. would throw cat food on his lawn...and laugh his hole off as the mother fucker chased them away...this is the story of t.e. and myself...spreading peace and love wherever we went from 1985 until 1994 ...luv stu

July 19