selah part 9

being traumatized was bad enough...now i added a woman to my issues...not just any woman either...a good friend for years...minutes after the proposal it all changed...faking drowning...faking comas...my buddy jon watched as she drove down the street with me on the hood of the car...i cant remember how i finally got off...it was the most fucked up thing possible...i remember coming to her home for supper and finding 3 or 4 meals on the table...each one in a different stage of decomposition...under normal circumstances...i could have dealt with it...but this was 1999...4 years of p.t.s. and the shit that came with it had taken its toll...how did i finally end it??? i left a message on the phone...thats all i could do...and boy did i get fucking shit for that...i was "the man" and everybody wanted to see me fall...and fall i did...luv stu