god is out there...(based upon references to god having bowl movements in the book of deut.)...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

god is out there somewhere having a shit
when he gets back he will have a fit
never thought they would do that
don't think the lord will believe it

god is out there having a poo
when he gets back don't know what he will do
when he sees how we screwed ourselves
ate santas reindeer and his elves
when he sees everything we blew

god is out there having a crap
took him 2000 years imagine that
right now he is wiping his bum
pretty soon everything will come undone

god is right now leaving the out house
better be quiet as a church mouse
right now he is shutting the door
like he did a billion times before
we are all just wieners headed for the roast

religion...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

religion is stuck on sex
so you can't see all the hate
cruel mean and self righteous
but you best not masturbate

the devil lives inside your church
the preacher is a liar and fraud
almost non are heterosexual
they preach queers are in shit with god

jesus was crucified by religion
all that has changes are the hats
preaching they are doves of peace
truth is they are vampire bats

remember those fucking crusades
do you think they have gone away
just ask the weird ask the poor
the drag queen or the gay

what has religion done
but manipulate and control
trying to pass it as gods will
but they can suck my hole  

platypus...from the book / "dingo wombat...your nation"

i pus
you pus
platypus

joe howe...from the book / "dingo wombat...your nation"

in the city of halifax
to commemorate one of the founding fathers
it was decided to erect a statue
of the late great joe howe

unfortunately however
plans got confused
with those of another city
hell
to be specific

anyway
what happened in the end was
halifax nova scotia was saddled
with a 50 foot monument
to alice cooper

ironically 
and fortunately
69% of the city was for it
as opposed to 48%
for the other guy

the letter

when i  lived in australia , all those years ago...a friend once mailed me a letter that , through a variety of circumstances that still remain a mystery...ended up in someones home quite a few miles from where i lived...strange , eh ??? what is even more strange is that another friend...went to visit these people...(who i did not nor still do not know)...and noticed that there was a letter addressed to me sitting upon their counter...i mean...what are the odds...anyway...there are currents that carry the human soul to its destination...and there are currents that carry the human  mail to its destination... and sometimes they are one in the same .

least of my breathern

i was waiting at the p.e.i. ferry terminal for a friend...this young boy came up to me and began to tell me things about himself...life...and everything...he said he was going to p.e.i. to visit...whoever...i asked him how he was going to pay for the trip...he smiled and politely told me that his father was driving the boat...i couldn't figure it out...but it appeared to me that he was lying and telling the truth both at the same time...so i gave him money...years later i would see him again...he did not look the same...but it was him...this time he was to tell me that my brother was about to die in a hunting accident...(which happened in about a month from that day)...years later...yet again...he had his back turned to me...(did not look at me once and i had never seen him before)...and he said..."going to the third floor to apply for (nude) modeling , stu??? i hope so...that's what you are supposed to do"...a few years after this encounter i would again see him...he was different this time...illuminated...glowing...walked right into my bathroom and introduced himself...i was in the tub having a beer...i will never forget it...he was with a friend...and together they would turn my life story from improbable...to...impossible...now...what does this have to do with..."what you do onto the least of my breathern   you do onto me" ??? everything !!!

dr. goose...issue # 93

timmy : dr. goose...what is your favorite movie ever ???

dr. goose : he cuts off the heads of terrorists
                 and nails them to the sidewalk

dr. goose : he slits the throats of rapists...and goes bowling
                 with their heads 

dr. goose : he cuts robbers into little pieces and sell them
                 to fast food outlets

dr. goose : he eats alive little old ladies who feel the need
                 to control their grandchildren

dr. goose : jon armstrong plays tony stackem...in
                "stackem high"

timmy : that's just terrible , dr . goose

dr. goose : no , timmy...you're thinking  of "stackem high 2"
                 ...that movie sucked

the hurting

possibly the most emotionally devastating words ever said to me...were..."fine...how are you???"...they  implied that i was unlovable...deserved no good thing...and ultimately , had no worth as a human being...strange...is it not..."go fuck yourself" can be a term of endearment...(and this besides the fact that fucking yourself is a lot of fun)...i was 18 years old when i had to deal with the former statement...and i still remember how small and insignificant i felt...the irony of the situation was that he got to keep his appearance of moral superiority...i mean..."fine....how are you???"...is a billion miles away from even the border of controversy...so he won on all accounts...that is...if you disregard the fact that truth resonates across the universe like ripples in a bath tub , regardless of what others may think or feel...you know...besides the fact that nobody can really cover-up anything...they can only push the monster under the bed for a short , brief season .    

god...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

god is pretty fucking big
and we are pretty fucking small
but if you listen to religion
there ain't no difference at all

god sees beyond the universe
and we see up our hole
don't know the difference between an angel
and a rat in a fruit bowl 

god created the universe
and us on one bad day
looking for the truth of love
like dingos on the bay

god created the sunset
people burn with desire
after all is said and done
we are the hotter fire

god created making love
two people coming together
we added porno whips and chains
and we think we've done it better

letters to josh...april 27 2012 / return of the son of your untimely demise

did you see the movie...50 / 50 ??? well , my equivalent movie should be called 99 / 1...i mean , there is only a slight chance that i fucked up my liver...(the reason for my swollen blood cells in the first place)... in a way that is virtually irreparable ...that is to say , your liver recuperates many a time before it gives in to the tribulation of this world...added to that , my drinking really isn't that heavy...so all should be fine...regardless of the worst possible road this shit could potentially go down...and i quote : (if not treated properly) "usually you will die within three years"...just for the record...erection issues is another symptom of this thing-a-ma-jig...i am not upset...and...if i could go back in time...i would not change a thing...i was emotionally pulverized for the best part of a quarter of a century...and drinking-self medicating-made a lot of things a lot easier to deal with...A.A. would hate me...two reasons...drinking made my life better...not worse...(probably saved it)...and i quit excessively drinking in a heartbeat...with no issues what-so-ever...anyway...hope you like your birthday present...it will be a few days late...we will refer to these...as the mystery days...luv ya heaps...have a wonderful day...stu

cease the day...summer 1992

i went to kegi for a week...(kegi is a rather large national park in south n.s.)...there are not too many people who can actually enjoy going that long with virtually no communication with another human being...besides a three hour romantic interlude with my girlfriend...it was all just me and myself...john lennon said..."life is what happens when you are making other plans"...the only real moment that you have is now...do not let your past define you...(at least not in a negative way)...and do not let your future scare you...there is not a fucking thing you can do about it...simply live love...and allow love to take you where you ought to go...(which , in fact , means we do have some sort of control of our future...just not in the traditional sense)...in the final analysis...the love you are...is the love you will manifest around yourself in due time...promise !!!

holding everything together...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

holding everything together
the universe and the sky
holding everything together
the lemons and the pie

holding everything together
the promise and despair
holding everything together
the hardness and the care

it took six days to create
it takes a billion life times to learn how to relate
time is finite
it also is forever
awake or asleep
he holds everything together

holding everything together
the belly and the hunger
holding everything together
the lonely and the lover

holding everything together
the rabbit and the fox
holding everything together
is the universe just a box

god created man
do you think he'd do it again
quite a little endeavor
holding everything together

the church sign...from the book / "dingo wombat...your nation

the church sign said
"all are welcome"
so the guy who screwed the ministers wife
and got caught
just three months prior
showed up

he got kicked out
sued them for three million dollars
and won

now that's what
i call religion

letters to josh...april 26 2012 my untimely demise

hey , josh...wanna hear something funny ??? chantel took me out for pizza a couple of weeks ago and...as the conversation progressed...i told her that i hadn't drank for a few days...her reply was : "what are you...dying or something???" and here is the funny bit...i actually was dying and didn't know it...three years or less to live , to be specific...roughly translated...swollen blood cells means d-12 deficiency...and d-12 deficiency...means three years to live...(or so i read on the internet)...thank god my issue is derived from alcohol...there are many ways to get a d-12 deficiency...that are far less treatable...(for example...crones disease)...anyway...i will probably spend the next month or so pissing up impurities...then i should be fine...the ironic part...i met a girl that i like on the same day...(first time in years)...LIFE IS SO WEIRD...and everything seems to be so entwined with everything else...fuck , i took on 30 churches or so...and made it (in some respects anyway) look easy...and now i have a fatal disease...and you know...this is the first time in my life that i have heard of a fatal disease being easily curable...it really seems that god is (successfully) attempting to make my life as interesting as possible...i sure as fuck ain't  board...here is my advice...if someone tells you that your blood is swollen...it is probably not a good thing...luv stu .

love your woman

love
your
woman
as
a
whole
not
as
a
hole

letters to josh march...the old bitter man

how are things ??? things are pretty good here today...sunny and warm...how was the almost-pink floyd concert??? went for a walk today and stumbled upon some old bitter man that attached all these plastic sheets to his wheel chair only to have them fall off...ended up carrying them half way across westmount ...he gave me a five dollar bill and i tried not to accept it...it was then i realized that if i did not take the money...i was fucked...every time i walk to westmount lately something happens...i was there a few days ago and i ran into an old friend from  #@$%  church...he informed me that he had a disease where his immunity system had turned against his vital organs...he was told by the doctors that there is a 50 50 chance that his body will dispel the illness before the illness kills him...he truly is one of my favorite people from that silly place...i gave him my phone # and i hope that he will call...anyway...you know what it is weird...almost everyone on this planet is a coward...and it takes a noble and brave person to die...death must be hell for most people...(no pun intended)...welp...mitch should be arriving any second...so it is time to sign off...luv ya with all my heart..."fight the good fight"...luv stu

the g bus...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

we go on this born again retreat
riding in the g bus
we pick up a hitch-hiker
and get him saved
in the back of the g bus
then we pull down his pants
and sodomize him
on top of the g bus

'couse he is really purdy 

how to smoogle your boogle

for thousands of years now people have been boogling by themselves or in the company of others...thing is , however...people seem unaware that they can actually smoogle their boogle...and that is where i come in...for a mere 25 $...you can receive complete instructions on how to smoogle your boogle...i know what has been said...vicious rumors that you will go blind or certain bits of your body will fall off if you smoogle your boogle...bullshit!!! these are just vicious rumors started by the 2and church of the infected werewolf and the circumcised peanut dingo...a manipulative attempt to desmooglize society and thereby control the cross fertilization of the three horned crayon ferret and the seven legged utah bastard monkey...any fool can figure that out...listen...if god did not want you to smoogle your boogle...then he never would have given you a boogle to smoogle...so send me your money...and start smoogling until the cows come home...have a nice day...sincerely...captain billbo-wallowomple...of the second fleet of the horny elephant .

April 24 2012

george w...from the book / "dingo wombat and your nation"

when the aliens landed
george w. bush
made the wisest decision
he could possibly think of
he got a great big piece
of green cheese
traditionally their favorite food
went to the mother ship
and rubber it all over their wind shield
then kicked the leader
right in the cookies
and declared war

and the reason :
"it's gonna take a lot of hard work"

the magic coke bottle

one thing in this life that really fucks me up...is how quickly you can ruin a relationship...i mean...in one act of selfishness or meanness...you can undo decades of hard work...cultivating a friendship...learning to give and such...i call this dynamic...the magic coke bottle...or...in other words...one coke bottle over the back of someones head...be it literal or otherwise...and you can undo literally a life time of  hard work...strange , isn't it ???

when your head is up your ass...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

how do you go to work
how do you go to class
how do you have a crap
when your head is up your ass

how do you ride the bus
how do you smoke your grass
how do you live your delusions
when your head is up your ass

maybe it's that we belong
in a parallel universe
maybe the answer is within
or some crazy ladies purse

maybe if we refrain from sex
or watching too much t.v.
maybe life is just a movie
or hard-core pornography

come the final analysis
according to no one but me
if you stick your head up your ass
you won't have too much company

maybe we are all just turtles
stuck inside our shell
and maybe if we all take a look
we will find it is all just as well

letters to josh march...romper room

the woman on romper-room called my name...it went something like this : "mr. bumble bee...sting that cock-sucker strang"...point...sometimes it is good when our name is not being called...fact of the matter is 88% of the time my name is being called...it means i am in shit...are you kidding about the jackson pollic pictures ??? here is an interesting story for you...i was at the halifax shopping center yesterday...and some young fellow on the phone asked me if i had a pen...i politely said "no" and continued on my way...god then clearly spoke to me and said..."get that little fucker a pen"...(not quite in those words)...so i asked some girl selling fat if i could borrow a pen...she said "do you need paper too???" i said that i did not...so she promptly cut off a piece of paper and gave it to me...i then went back to the phone only to discover that...a) he was having a very important phone call to africa...and...b) he had no paper...thing is...i am just about positive that the young girl actually heard me say "yes" when i know i said "no"...this has happened to me a few times in recent months...things in selah land are fine...chantel preached saturday...did a wonderful job...and , oh , yes...robbie wants me to teach him how to play tennis this spring...well...they certainly seem to be keeping you busy...make sure you find some josh time...i will heed your advice regarding the post cards and will see if those particular stores are interested...love ye heaps...have a great day...luv stu .

on the planet ants...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

on the planet ants
they think god looks like an ant
on the planet bat
he's nocturnal , imagine that
on the planet of monkey
they offer him bananas
and on the planet naked
he don't wear no pajamas

god made us in his image
and we returned the favor
4000 years ago in israel
he was a woman hater
back in viking times
he was a mad man under the sea
now in north america
he is addicted to all his money

on the planet spider
god has eight legs and 1000 eyes
and if you don't obey him
you don't catch any flies
on the planet of homo
he sends heterosexuals to hell
jesus was never blonde and hot
in case you are too stupid to tell

the orgy

the heater was broken in my apartment
normally this would cause me no stress
but today was different
you see
about the same time the repair man
was coming over
i was supposed to be hosting
an orgy
and i just though it might be difficult
for him to fix the fucking thing
you know
with all those naked bodies bumping around
and sperm flying everywhere and such

anyway
he is a professional
i'm sure he is used to it

quotations from the love guru...part 2

the first volume was from a series of picture books released in halifax between the years 2003 and 2005...the following...unreleased :

truth shines the brightest...when it is opposed .

until you love someone more than yourself...you are asleep .

love grows in the dirt...and is trampled by those chasing gold .

if you are not loving people...you are probably using them .

truth unfolds slowly...and that is why we still have a planet .

all but the enlightened will come to believe what they are told .

love never travels a well marked path .

the greater the love thrown away...the greater the need to accuse others .

it is not what you are going through...but who you are going through it  .

your love...is who you are .

if you can have insight into only one thing...make sure it is not what is up your ass .

everything gets where it is going...our stupidity just detours it for a while .

there are only two things in life...love...and everything else...which is nothing .

people who see angels...see a lot of other shit to make up for it...(trust me) .

a wise man can learn more from looking out the window...than most by travelling the universe.

truth is a pudding...that most make with...eh...no pudding .

if you love each other more than you love being deceived...then everything changes .

having emotion pass off of love...is like having ice cream pass off as a cow .

the human race is like a rock in a river...the water still gets where it is going...it just has to detour .

we cannot change the future...but we can stupefy it .

people believe what they feel will work to their advantage...and if happens to not be completely insane...even better .

a trustworthy person...never demands to be trusted .

sin is behavior...that is not real .

the more stupid the belief...the more violent people are in defending it .

the real reason for what is happening...is seldom stated .

the cover-up is often worse than the crime .

unbridled love...or unbridled hatred...anything else...you will be forgotten 5 minutes after you are dead .

issues do not discriminate...they can embarrass you...or put you in jail for 20 years...it is all the same to them .

if truth scares you...that does not make it any less truthful .

prayer does not change circumstances...it changes your heart...your heart changes circumstances.                                                                                                                                                   
if truth will not enter your door...that is not because there is something wrong with the door .

Quotations From:

 

 

 

Reality...What A Concept

In the final analysis...the state of your heart will be reflected in all that surrounds you. 

• resistance to life...is a pie...with no pie .
• life...wow!!!
• love has many seasons...selfishness...only one...winter.
• to resist the wind of love...is to have your soul blown out of your body.
• any religion that goes beyond kindness...goes beyond.
• art is never greater than its creator.
• do not equate the size of your heart with the size of your penis.
• real never leaves...it just changes shapes.
• rewind your movies...embrace your mistakes.   
• hate laundry...not people.
• to be one with another...you have to be one with yourself.
• include carefully...then completely.
• be more like your dog...and less like your clergyman.
• finding love means finding truth...not throwing it away.
• prayer is bending your heart...in loves direction
• love demands just one thing...everything.
• the part of you that i cannot accept...is the part of me that i cannot accept.
• time is a cage...made out of illusions.
• wisdom is a high school girl...that never got laid.
• life is a wave that will hopefully pound some truth into you.
• if you were a drink...how would you taste??? 
• what puts one asleep...awakens another.
• a brilliant mind without a loving heart...screws up their life...intelligently.
• we create either love...or illusions.
• pudding is instant...not love.
• the greater the truth...the less it demands to be believed.
• growing is rising to the occasion of love.
• divisions are for hockey...not relationships.
• the only real security...is letting go.
• true sacrifice...is heard across the universe.
• the more your heart is filled with good things...the more it can hold.
• some savages eat people...others...gossip over tea.
• sometimes the closest look...is from far away.
• joy shines through the cracks in our illusions...and grows as they fall away.
• an agenda is what we are...when we no longer are.
• pave sidewalks...not hearts.
• try not to confuse love and addiction.
• love is a battle...choose your weapon...pillow or gun???
• fear is a sign...pointing to the wrong direction.
• if you have to perfect something...make sure it is not having a perfectly horrible marriage.
• i went to university and learned how to think...i went to bible college and learned what happens when  you do not think...both were wonderful teachers.
• do you believe out of comfort...or truth??? 
• when all is quiet...what do you hear???
• let your past teach you...not define you.
• make your own mistakes...not your parents.
• the moment someone does not understand...is the moment they always think they are right.
• if love is everything...then the question must be asked...what is everything else???
• truth is a heavy weight...that lightens the load.
• in humility we learn...in pride...we justify.
• in a broken world...do not trust anything that is not broken.
• joy is found in how we love...not who.
• after you have suffered sufficiently for love...the illusion will lift...and you will be left with nothing or everything...and either will satisfy.
• sometimes the long way home...was meant to be a short cut.
• love also loves the pain in others.
• joy is truth...when it has an orgasm.
• it is better to have blind faith...than to see things that are not there.
• demanding is the fruit of spiritual poverty.
• we chase religions...that are similar to our sexuality.
• the way is narrow...but opens hearts wide.
• people tell you that..."if you do not stand for something...you will fall for anything"...what they do not tell you is...nothing...something...and anything...are usually about the same thing.
• life does not begin...until you love another more than yourself.
• truth makes life harder...and love easier.
• joy is borrowed...never owned.
• love is a bath...and only people with something to hide...wear clothing in the tub.
• the only difference between a 21 gun salute and a firing squad...is a 45 degree angle...luv stew
• i think...therefore i consider love...i love...therefore i am.
• do not be so busy covering your ass...that you forget your dick is showing.
• anyone not hiding will look like a fool...a beautiful...joyful....beloved fool.
• love makes only one demand...company.
• everything is going to where it supposed to go...our task is to make sure it is in half decent shape when it gets there.
• when you discover what you are actually afraid of...will it terrify you??? 
• self righteousness...is the offspring of something very dark.
• humility is the mirror of the soul...pride is a distorted look into the soul of everyone else.
• grab onto it...take it into your body...and when you open your hands...it is the exact opposite of what you thought it was.
• organized religion...cloaks reality.
• do not waste your energy changing what you do not like about yourself...resources are limited...change what hurts people.
• wisdom is the enemy of getting what you want.
• the truth without love...is a lie.
• nobody can love you...like somebody nobody loved.
• sometimes we have to be reduced to nothing...to become something.
• life is a process of learning to hear the question that is actually being asked.
• money can get you a better appearance of life...love can get you a better life.
• the road to mercy...has no detours.
• if you have to be ashamed...then make sure it is of the right thing.
• it is hard to find your way out of the woods...when you think you are on the beach.
• institutions are for crazy people...not god.
• i looked for happiness and found sorrow...i looked for love...and found happiness.
• it is hard to find success...if you do not know what it is you are looking for.
• the people who burn the brightest...last the shortest...besides the really smart ones.
• love is what passes by...as we look for shiny things.
• measure the length of your life by the love you give...not by years.
• anger is our attempt to control what cannot be controlled.
• the journey into the institution...is the journey away from love.
• the less people believe their religion...the more they try to convince others it is true.
• every heart has a broom closet...complete with a broom...use it.
• never feed your employees too well...they will develop a sense of entitlement and resent you...never feed your employees too poorly...they will feel unimportant and resent you...feed your employees just right...they will "love you" for it.
• when people leave your sight...do they leave your heart??? 
• people are loyal for many reasons...only one of which is loyalty.
• the truth that crushes one...brings life to another.
• you have three possessions...your word...your integrity...and your story.
• it is harder to get rid of someone you need...than someone who loves you.
• to those who love...life is obvious.
• fear pushes away what should be taken away or brought to you.
• a pure motivation...shines long after the activity is over.
• a quiet , calm spiritual journey...is not.
• love brings together...and breaks apart...it depends upon the individual.
• the less you desire...the more you will be filled.
• if you have to justify someone...make sure it is not yourself.
• if something is not being done out of love...guaranteed...it is being done for something.
• love is your best friend...or your worst enemy.
• we go for control...when love is no longer present.
• becoming a better liar...is not growing up.
• who you are should be more exciting than where you are.
• we all see our need...love sees beyond our need.
• joy is connection...emptiness is deception.
• if you don't know who you are...then you don't know what you signed up for.
• the dark spirit...is always self righteous.
• there are only two roads...one will lead you to yourself...one will lead you away from yourself.
• we are no greater than what we have to overcome.
• reality is like a bear...it will chase you...but only for a short while.
•  it is good to have a new and different adventure...just make sure it does not have you.
• let love be your channel...not t.v.
• if you cant learn more in one day than most learn in a life time...you are not trying.
• having emotions pass off as love...is like having ice cream pass off as a cow.
• all but lovers will come to believe what they are told.
• it is not what you are going through...but who you are going through it.
• love is gentle...but murders the enemies within.
• we are either bending reality...or reality is bending us.
• if you cannot enjoy making love to yourself...don't expect anyone else to enjoy making love to you.
• whenever i write my name incorrectly...i want you to tell someone you love...how important they are to you
• ...so this fellow walked up to me recently and said..."you are the biggest ass hole i know"...i replied..."whatever i do...i try to do to the best of my ability"...point...it is not what is done to us...but how we respond.
• an easy journey makes for a disappointing trip.
• comfort is an addiction that feeds off of the beauty of questioning.
• choose your addictions carefully.
• nobody really lives a lie...because it is not really living.
• when we cast stones...we become rocks.
• if your partner is not first...then it wont last.
• life is either a learning experience...or a justifying experience.
• for every war that began over a border...100 began over sexually repressed dynamics.
• your life reflects your heart.
• 30 seconds of living...is better than 80 years of dying.
• looking for someone to agree...is not looking for advice.
• if you wear your heart on your sleeve...make sure you have an extra shirt.
• if you have to be on top...you will probably end up on the bottom.
• we can make someones life easier or more difficult...but we cannot change their direction.
• love is simply an expression of all that is real...the existence of anything else...is probably an illusion.

living in a fog

people simply do not know why they are doing what they are doing

dynamics :

1-we are who we are
2-we get lost : fear / socialization / laziness / lust
3-become someone else
4-defend it with violence
5-worship it

life is a process of becoming more or less real...nobody stays the same...and everybody wants to make you like them : church / state / family

yet...you are made to be you :

1-embrace confusion
2-identify
3-"fight the good fight" : community / passion / humility

that about wraps it up for god...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

maybe god does exist
maybe he has better things to do
like hang around with people who love him
instead of telling him what to do

that about wraps it up for god

maybe after we crucified him
and nailed him to a tree
after he thought about it for a while
he decided to take it personally

that about wraps it up for god

maybe he got some good advice
from his friends up in the sky
like : "hang around with those dumb fuckers
you must be fucking high"

that about wraps it up for god

maybe one too many bombs were dropped
i wonder which one did it
or one too many bull shit stories
was added to the credit

that about wraps it up for god

in the final analysis
we are just animals at a trough
and our greatest accomplishment
is probably jerking-off

that about wraps it up for god

collection of flarmology quotes on human sexuality

"sex is not an act...as much as it is an expression of who you are."

"until one embraces ones sexuality...reality...illusions and fantasies are all blurred together."

"it is the heart...far more than the act".

"sex will bring you further into truth...or further into delusions."

"a satisfied heart...will lead to a satisfied sex life...and it goes the other way as well."

"sex...me like."

"the true caveman...never used a club to get their women...but come campfire...the other cavemen gave them shit." 

"all the cavemen liked ugg...until one day he showed up wearing a pink dyed saber tooth tiger pelt...then they hated him...but i think that says more about the cavemen than it does about ugg."

"a reasonable goal...is to diminish the distance between your sex life and your love life."

"unless it is real love...sex is like anything else...best if you do it by yourself."

"sex is celebrated throughout the galaxy...zofon...from the planet trephinon...says...and i quote..."make love...not rayon-plantic rafermil exchanges"...words to live by."

"the smurfs...are a very poor role model for sexual relationships...typical...maybe...but very poor."

"slarppy shyte burger dimble crack bark-farker...owner of the amazingly psychotic one legged racing horse...is a virgin...i wonder why???"

"sex is supposed to be a gateway into something real...not deceit."

"remember...when you are having sex...there is someone else there."

"let your preference be...being kind."

"sex...the hamburger of the universe."

"sex and communication...are one in the same."

"every experience in life...will either help you to resolve things...or make things less ressolved."

"the more intimate the act...the more it has potential...in both directions."

"there was this guy...he would jog everywhere in "my fair city"...then one day i realized...he was not running to something...he was running away from something...his sexuality...life is not supposed to be a metaphor , puppy-cats...it is supposed to be real...make it so." 

"may your life be soft...and your penis hard."

exchange

love is like the sun...it does not discriminate in regards to who it shines upon
dynamics :

1-god speaks
2-we obey
3-not because-someone deserves something
                     -get return
                     -bribe
4-brings joy
5-let go

making relationships an exchange is a counterfeit of love
how do we know when we are not using someone:

1-true love
2-fruitful relationship...extends to the healing of others
3-community...it is seen and respected by others
4-past records...if you have a trail of destruction...fair chance it is continuing 
5-ongoing humility...looking at self

exchanges will end sooner or later...love is eternal
live luv

the more your religion...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

the more your religion is shit
the more you have to make others believe it
how do you know your religion is wrong
the need to make others belong

the more your religion is crap
the more you are out of your frigging mind
the more your reality if left behind
you stuff your religion up someones behind

the more that god is no longer there
when jesus has a suit and 50 dollar underwear
when rules replace being loving and kind
the more god is left behind

we don't fight out of belief
we fight because belief is not really there
only the weirdos are sexually pure
the self righteous are always a whore

the more your religion is bull
the more we pretend we are spiritually full
when all the answers and found inside
that's when you know you lied

hank williams would be proud...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

i am writing a record
a country record actually
the title is as follows
"drop dead means i love you
so baby won't you
drop dead and die"

hank williams would be proud

April 19 2012

love and art

true art is spiritual...and spiritual is eternal...it may appear to be a form of insanity...as its grasp is far beyond this finite universe...true art is the opposite of lust and living for the second...it does not attempt to please the common human...as the common human has his views entwined with a very finite existence...an existence filled with deceit ulterior motives...love is both the mother and father of true art...and it will last forever .

god created...from the album / "that about wraps it up for god"

god created the alligator
god created the mashed potater
god created the galaxy
while having a cup of tea

god created the winter freeze
god created mayor mccheese
god created all the bugs
as god gives man tugs

god created the devil
at least made one angel unlevel 
god created the lover
after he made the rubber

god created the bag pipes
god created the holland dykes
he gave some men a long one
the others think they got the wrong one

god created that little bitch
that broke your heart in two
and your self justification
because it certainly wasn't you

use your imagination
this crap is all gods creation
and before it all began
it was all just brownies and ham

dr. goose...issue # 94

timmy : dr. goose...why is religion against masturbation???

dr. goose : compulsive masturbators have 70 % less chance
                 of getting cancer in their privates , timmy

dr. goose : my suspicion is that religion has teemed up with
                 the medical profession

dr. goose : every doctor that cuts off a pair of testicles has to
                 give the church 50 %

dr. goose : it's a racket , timmy

dr. goose : as we speak , there are dr.s. and priests hanging
                 out together laughing their asses off

timmy : that's just terrible , dr . goose

dr. goose : a little bit terrible...and pretty fucking nuts  

letters to josh april 8 2012

what is the world coming to when people take the onus upon themselves to fuck around with another mans chocolate milk ??? and , by the way...the organic chocolate milk here still is virtually orgasmic...speaking of which...the extra water seems to be really helping me to pull off the job...(pun intended)...i reach my destination four out of five times as long as i don't try to "do it" in the morning...the issue is...you are supposed to take one month off of maca for every three months on...that month is the next month...oh , well...we will see what the jerk-off ferry has in store...(i do have a reasonable alternative anyway...it's just that there is a smiling lady on the front of the package...and it really does not say inside what the fuck she is smiling about...it just makes me nervous)...ian preached saturday and did a fucking great job (as usual)...you know...he is at the very least one of the best preachers i have ever heard...so is his wife , for that matter...as i look out my window...it appears to me that god in his infinite wisdom decided to blast us with a bit of that shit that some people refer to as snow...scott is meandering through it to my abode as we speak...as yoda would say..."be here any second , he will"...have a great day...luv ya eternally efficaciously...stu  

the wolves...from the book / "dingo wombat...your nation"

in the bleak of winter
in the middle of the forest
the wolves suddenly
from out of the shadows
of the pine trees
appeared fast and hungry
chasing a deer
through the open field
thing is
they were all wearing sweaters
home nit sweaters at that
then
with one giant leap
the head wolf
swatted the deers ass
and said
"you're it"
the deer turned around
and said
"oh , fuck"
and began chasing the wolves

i guess they weren't that hungry
after all

chess

immediate gratification :

1-see
2-lust...wanting at the expense of what is real
3-idolatry...focus in on
4-take...go against the nature of the universe
5-justify
6-deteriorate 
7-anger...and blame  

people capable of abstract thought :

1-see
2-lust
3-strategy.
4-find a path...that will lead you to get what you want
5-take
6-deteriorate
7-anger...and blame

the path of love:

1-see
2-love
3-submit...only what the path of love brings you is actually real
4-let go
5-accept
6-become whole...love leads you into all truth...and truth heals
7-peace and joy

that about wraps it up for god...introduction

the album..."that about wraps it up for god"...(and the title i did take from douglas adams...his untimely death was very sad and  the title was out of admiration and respect...nothing else...besides...maybe...it is a really cool title)...was written and recorded in the fall of  2006...over a period of a few days...as you may be able to discern...personal tragedies were still haunting me and , though i still find the theology extremely sound...it is obvious i still had some anger issues to work out...FUCK...LISTEN...if you look around this planet and you don't feel somewhat angry...you gotta fucking  take a long hard look at yourself , my friend...luv stu .

dr. goose / "flarms music review"...# 95

timmy : dr. goose...what does it mean to sublimate ???

dr. goose : it means to get something some other way

dr. goose : married people do it a lot , timmy

dr. goose : whores do the job

dr. goose : if i were a whore i would call myself a
                 sublimation engineer

dr. goose : it just sounds better than whore

timmy : thats just terrible , dr . goose

dr. goose : you have obviously never met a sublimation
                 engineer

centepede

the more spiritually developed one becomes...the more intense the reaction to that individual becomes...strange...i used to believe that by maturing and growing in the direction of love...there would be more respect...and...further...life would be made easier...in  a sense this is true...(beauty and awareness have their own incredibly wonderful rewards)...but in a broader sense...what actually happens is that the love within somehow becomes like a mirror...and people begin to see themselves when they look at you...to be specific...to be free in love...is to offer only love to others...which means that most people will see nothing that they desire...(sex ...money and or power)...and this will not make them happy .

my competition...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

everyone asked me
about my competition
i replied
the only real competition
that i have
is deep within my self
reaching to embrace
the wounds and pain
of a tormented soul
and turn them into a
beautiful vision of wonder
and achievement

and besides
my competition
are a bunch of fucking ass-holes

penis

...and jesus said to peter..."before the cock crows you will have denied me three times"...and what does this have to do with your penis ??? simple...every time peter took his cock out of his pants...he was reminded of what a fucking awful prick he was to jesus...and the moral of this story is...don't be a dick...for fuck sakes...treat your friends well...they are god's gift to you .

everything means something else

every religion is there not to expose truth but to hide truth...(if you look at the bible carefully...you will notice that the old testament has almost nothing in common with the teachings of christ...jesus came on the scene...they murdered him within three years...and the disciples immediately began to confuse things again)...the truth of the matter is...it is all about love and nothing else...and mankind...being essentially opposed to love by his very nature...(with mainly obvious exceptions)...has created one religion after another...to hide this eternal truth...(as long as one is pursuing an arbitrary system of right and wrong..the truth of the heart and soul remains extremely well hidden )...jesus referred to the whole fucking mess as "white washed tombs"...and he was right!!!

coffee in the afternoon

first she would make me a new fresh pot of coffee when i arrived...served with a smile...then we would politely split a pot of the deep black delicious liquid...soon after...she would save me some stuff ...(drabs , i believe it is referred to)...at the bottom ...eventually...she would simply point to the cupboard...and stoically single me to make my own fucking cup of instant...now , the thing about this coffee story...it is not about coffee .

when i was 13...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

when i was 13
i pinned up naked pictures
of men
all over my bedroom wall
specifically on the ceiling
above my bed
when my parents asked why
i did it
i replied
to remind me of how heterosexual i am

the dumb shits
they believed me

bibles...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

this religious group
is giving away bibles
down this country road
i take 40 or so
set up shop
a small distance away
sell them for five dollars
free holy water
if you buy two or more

making a long story short
they beat the shit
out of me

letters to josh...march 29 2012

hi , josh...thank you for your concern and glad this week is better than the last...great news from the dr. visit...making a long story short...it seems my little problem was dehydration...(knock on wood)...apparently if your body lacks fluid...blood does not flow very well...thank god...water is a lot cheaper than viagra...ever since the visit...things have been great...this might all be worth it since it led me into discovering maca...won't give up on that regardless...three reasons...1- it is giving me the best sexual experiences of my life...2-have not had this much energy since my 30's...and...3-it seems to me that my immunity system is , to say the least , greatly heightened...i came clean in the dr.'s office...told them the only sexual partner i have right now is myself...i am probably the first person she ever encountered who was looking for help to simply masturbate...anyway...it all looks quite peachy now...have a great night watching "ghostbusters"...(a classic)...love ya heaps...stu

an ode to the republicans

here is the shit
the way i see it
obama could cure cancer
clean up the environment
end hunger
employ every last fucker
who wanted a job
resolve every world crisis
make the entire middle east
peaceful , friendly and southern rock fans   
and re-carpet the white house
all by himself
and the republicans
would still want to chew him up
and spit him out on the side walk

at least nixon pretended
to be civilized 

letters to josh april 11 2012

hi , josh...if you think that all the crap in the music industry is a modern day series of events... get this one : back in the early eighties , when the record companies were about to introduce c.d.s into the market place...if you listened to the new releases on most (???) labels...you will notice that the last two songs on both sides of the album were mildly distorted...(i used to think there was something wrong with my turn table)...the fact of the matter is...we were corralled into buying the new format...and here is the irony...cassette technology kept on getting better and better...and they had no issues introducing that...why ??? simple...there was no way in hell that the cassette had a chance of competing with the c.d...so all the new technology did...was to make them look like they actually cared about their customer...as for the downloading issue...well , in the 70's the record companies swore up and down that the cassette was going to bring them to  their knees...end result...all time record profits...same with the monogram...same with v.h.s...indeed , your point is correct...people like shit for free...and certainly this would be a factor...but even more so...people like to fill that aching void within their hearts...and this is exactly what shopping is all about...if the hearts and souls of us westerners ever got healed...our economy would be fucked...(which makes one wonder how stable it all is in the first place)...ANYWAY...hearing about the gentleman that you are going to see this friday made me wish i was there with you...i love hearing those kind of stories because i can relate so intimately...i think i may be preaching on comfort this saturday...how it is our number one addiction...and if you interfere with another ones comfort level...they will fuck you up...it is so sad that someone would have to go through that kind of crap...but i am sure you will feel inspired ...as you well are aware of...being a truth seeker in this environment is no easy task...and you my dear friend are a real truth seeker...as jesus said to whats-his-face...sitting under a tree..."this is a true son of isreal"...well , time to do a little bit of work...then i model at 2:30...have a wonderful day...you are a  wonderful person...luv ya heaps...stu 

fearfully and wonderfully made

the fallen nature of man is to make others pay for their unresolved internal situations...then it is justified and forgotten...(often justified by bastardizing the one that was victimized)...the fallen nature of man is also to be appalled by love...(if someone has something that we desire...we focus upon this...and begin the journey of pretending that it is a real relationship...love...on the other hand...simply reflects ones nature back into ones face...usually creating a plethora of uneasy responses...leaving one both naked and vulnerable)...yet it is love that will remain...all else will fall by the way side...to be in love with love...is to avoid a fully and completely unreal , self centered universe...to be in love with love...is the beginning of journey of seeing and perceiving things , essentially...the way they really are...to be in love with love...is to be fearfully and wonderfully made .

special cat...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

everyone thinks their cat is special
they will tell you
that he is
just like a dog
well
here is the thing
why in the fuck
didn't you just get a dog
in the first place

ball point pen...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

my ball point pen
is
very nice

benefits of masturbation

1-increases life expectancy
2-reduces chance of prostate cancer
3-helps combat depression...(releases endorphins)
4-facilitates tranquility
5-boosts the immune system
6-gets religious fanatics off your ass when they find out you do it
7-creates jobs in the toilet paper and lubrication industries

harvest

everything is going where it is going...our actions may delay things...but only like a pebble detours the water for a split second :

dynamics :

1-we are treated in a certain way
2-we interpret
3-it becomes us
4-we justify : pride / arrogance / laziness
5-it controls our destiny
6-we deny : religion / secrets / control
7-we arrive

...be capable of abstract thought
our lives have consequences beyond the immediate


a true life :

1-we are treated a certain way
2-we interpret : love / repentance / forgiveness
3-it becomes us
4-we fight : love / repentance / forgiveness
5-love controls our destiny
6-we learn
7-we arrive

food...from the book / "d is for wombat...dingo wombat"

so billy had a pig
and suzie had a turkey
strangely enough
the pig was turk-o-licious
and the turkey was pig-a-riffic
proving once and for all
there is nothing on this planet
that makes
any fucking sense

the catholic church

there is this group of single men...who dress up like women...who have taken a "vow" not to have sex with women...who have a well established history of sexual perversion...who figure that women are inferior to them simply because some bigot scribbled it down on a piece of paper 2000 years ago...who embrace and facilitate a multi-billion dollar empire , although the founder of the "company" took a vow of poverty and encouraged everyone who followed him to do likewise...and we are not supposed to be suspicious of this??? are you fucking kidding me???  

the titanic

apparently...there were eight psychics on board the titanic...figure that one out . 

perverts and puritans

self righteous judgment is always a cover-up 
where we go when we don't want to be real  



dynamics :

1-we invite a lie : fear / conditioning / ignorance 
2-repress
3-breeds darkness
4-develop new behavior
5-the cover-up

being a puritan is just another way of being a pervert

opposed to truth :

1-we are fucked
2-embrace it
3-stay humble..."fight the good fight"
4-always love...it will direct you
5-be fearless about what you discover about you

"i will lead you into all truth"

letters to josh january / new van halen album

funny you should mention superficial...watched "the daily show" last wed. and they had this segment where they had this famous magazine with its the international covers and the american...(special)...covers...long story short...on numerous publications...the american covers would be concerned with topics like the length of micky mouse's penis...while the international covers would be concerned with real world issues...it really fucked the audience up...no , my friend has not come to selah yet...don't know if she will or not...all i know for sure is that her husband wouldn't be caught dead in selah for a trillion dollars...a clear example of opposites attracting...post card ain't ready yet...i will send you 5 of them with another d.v.d. at the end of the month...oh , guess what...my book seems to be doing quite well...i found 5 or 6 copies available second hand...and 868 people have read it on my blog...possibly a cheque  in the near future??? it has been hard getting attention when people essentially believe that you don't exist...anyway , "fraser" is on in 3 minutes...so gotta go...luv ya with all my heart...have a wonderful day...and oh , yes...new "van halen" album just released...rock on , mother fuckers...can't wait to get it...luv stu

i ate horse in switzerland

way back when...the catholic church declared that god did not want people eating horse meat...that is to say...the church would fuck them up if they dared to...the reason??? simple...if peasants could eat horse meat...then that would enable them to have enough "cash flow" to actually afford a horse as a part of their household...(you know , the money they would save in the long run could justify the expense)...thereby...increasing their status dramatically...or...in other words...the catholic church would lose some of their control...and my point...just about everything bad concerning the human condition is manifested by the way we attempt to control each other...control is an evil spirit that hides itself behind just about everything and anything...so the next time you feel that "god" has placed another individual in your life simply for your gratification...let it all go...then let it go some more...live luv .

letting go

why do we hold on???

1-an event
2-we are hurt
3-we hold onto our hurt
4-we idolize
5-become what we focus on

people hate others who partake in the same neurotic behavior that they do
yet they seldom see this in themselves...(darkness breeds darkness)


how do we let go???

1-an event
2-we are hurt
3-we see clearly through love
4-love compels us to forgive
5-we become ourselves...opposed to becoming trapped in a pattern because of unforgiveness 


every other god but love...will screw you up

the hologram

i have an idea for a movie...it is called..."the hologram"...as it turns out...there is human type life forms on eight of the planets in our solar system...the only one that does not have life??? earth...what is happening is that all of the other planets are projecting their energy down here and it is manifesting itself as us...nobody knows this...until one day someone figures it out...not only that...they also figure out that the only way to become real...is to embrace the fact that they are not...a revolution begins....and the authorities do not like it!!!

solar flairs

they say
someday
solar flairs will be so huge
that they will effect our planet
even to the point
where every fucking thing
shuts down
and our food supply is cut off

maybe because i am not
a big eater
but i live in a city of 500,000 people
and i figure that
at the very least
is five million steaks
and that should last me for
a couple of years anyway

taking the bible litterally part 3

you could go on forever with this subject...to be blunt however...most people have simply made up their minds-for better or worse-about what they believe and they will not allow the truth to get in the way of a good story...on the other hand...how about this : the apostle paul says point blank that you cannot take the bible literally...and i quote..."i do the things that i ought not do"...implying that he is more than capable of writing the things that he ought not write...let's face it...the man had huge sexual issues that he was projecting upon his flock...and no self awareness of these at all...furthermore...he declared..."everyone but timothy is out for their own interests"...now , if this be true...how in hell can you believe what they are writing??? i am not deliberately trying to piss anyone off here...my only point is...THINK!!!

April 7

duck hunting

the best way to go duck hunting
is to get a fishing rod
go into a river
and pretend to be fishing
within minutes
the ducks will be curious
and come over to see
if you are having any luck
at this point
you take out your well concealed weapon
and proceed to blow the crap
out of them

you are now a true duck hunter

the begger whip diddle

the beggar whip diddle is a mythological creature that can either facilitate or interfere with sexual relations...if you see a beggar whip diddle during masturbation...it is said that you should stop immediately...buy a loaf of bread...go to the nearest park...and feed the birds...then go home and have a rather large glass of orange juice...and repeat the phrase..."begger whip diddle begger whip diddle...you on both sides...and i am in the middle"...if this is done correctly...you will have wonderful orgasms for the next 366 days...for more information concerning the beggar whip diddle...drop me a line at flarms@hotmail.com...luv stu

70 years

stick to masturbation...world peace in 70 years .

taking the bible litterally part 2

10% of the old testament...more or less...is concerned with the idea that a bunch of nomads...in the middle of nowhere...feel quite convinced that god all-mighty wants them to murder their competing tribes down the road...and not just the men either...kids...goats...everything...and if you don't do it...then god will kill you...point...to take this literally...is to either condone gene-side...or prove unequivocally you don't think a fucking bit about what you are reading .

the new self esteem march 31 2012

finding flaws in others...tearing them apart...to make yourself  "feel good" about yourself...regardless of what shit you have been up to...seems that it would be a difficult job to justify things that are completely wrong by such a weak method , right ??? nope...the heart is wicked above all things...and once it focuses upon the "crime" of someone else...then it is easy to simply identify itself by this and this alone...HOWEVER...the spiritual individual sees right through this trap....the spiritual individual has its eyes focused upon love...and "love sees all things"...furthermore...the spiritual individual is aware that real self worth comes through the wonderment of the universe...that is to say...until you love another more than yourself...you don't know what it is to be alive .   

letters to josh april 4 2012

hello , josh...wednesday morning....or as we call it in stu land...donair with kevin day...(according to my computer...donair is not a word...according to my stomach...donair is not a food...BUT THEY ARE SO FUCKING GOOD)...anyway...just  a short note to tell you that i am finishing up with your sermons...(a.k.a...my sermons)...as we speak and hopefully will have them in the mail in a short while...if you need more postcards...you got until i take the package to the post office to let me know...it is sunny outside and the wind has died down...to the gym then off to modeling i go...or as the seven dwarfs would say..." i owe i owe...its off to strip i go"...luv ya heaps...have a great day...stu

p.s.

i have been spelling luv "luv" so long...my computer has had a conversion experience and now believes it to be an actual word .  

taking the bible litterally part 1

if you want to take the bible literally...then you have to believe that god is walking around outside your camp at night...and therefore...you have to dig a deep hole for your shit so he wont step in it...(deut., somewhere )...and how about this one : "if a man dies....and his brother won't marry his wife...take him to the elders and have them spit in his face" (deut. 25 ; 7-9)...and the ever popular : " if a man has a stubborn and rebellious son...kill him" (deut. 18-21) .

poor people...

poor people jerk-off...rich people masturbate .

how to deal with addictions part 2

there is something about addictions that most do not understand...they are there for a good reason...and if taken away...you may not like where it all goes...point...deal with addictions carefully...and with wisdom...i know this fellow who exchanged alcohol for a hard heart...maybe he just should have learned to deal with his drinking in a responsible way...we are all unique...this should be embraced...live love .

how to deal with addictions part 1

being human part 15

there are two ways of living life...we travel either by love or by addiction...most relationships are some sort of addiction...needs being met in exchange for other needs being met...it can even look beautiful...maybe it is...who are we to judge??? the issue is...can it last??? in the final analysis...all that will remain is love...all that binds everything together is love...live luv .

letters to josh april 1 2012

hi josh...hope your weekend is going well...preached last night...and after everyone left...i turned on the t.v. and there before me...(instantly)...was robin  willians  quoting word for word what i had just said...that being..."you really don't know anything about life until you love someone more that yourself"...the most dramatic example of this was when i preached on l.a. being the city that was supposed to communicate a message of love to the entire world...but somehow it all got twisted and perverted...then scotty and i went to the movies the next day and the opening scene was some fellow quoting me virtually word for word...it really doesn't matter how many times this kind of thing happens...it is always as exciting as the first time...i think we are living in exciting spiritual times and they are going to dramatically escalate...a couple of months ago we had a semi-memorial service for a friend of mine...and...no shit...he was in the room taking it in...i conclude by this that there may be some sort of day pass system in heaven...i don't know...this is the first time that i ever experienced anything like that...there was something else...(of that nature)...that i wanted to say but i forget what it is...i better get used to this fucking forgetting thing...i am only going to get older...i look out the window and see nothing but sun...and no fucking wind for a change...(halifax may be getting sunnier...but it is also getting windier)...luv ya with all my heart...have a wonderful day...stu  

spilling coffee

what i hate is when i accidentally spill coffee all over my pet rattlesnake .

more about cats...from the book / d is for wombat...dingo wombat

so this friend of mine
has his cat
grabbed and taken
into the sky
by this huge fucking hawk
as it left the land
and headed over the ocean
to be dropped upon rocks
then eaten
he sat and watched it go
all he could do
is wave good-by
and light up a smoke
and of course
the ever popular
scratch his head

double edged sward

every action has an opposite reaction
the more you love...the more pain you will feel (for various reasons)

dealing with it :

1-acceptance
2-communicating with others
3-learning forgiveness
4-self discovery

life is a double edged sword
beauty is evil redeemed..."he who is forgiven much...loves much"

human nature bridled :

1-justify
2-allow it to grow considering : law / social norms / what you can get away with
3-become a zombie

love is alive :

1-walk in humility
2-allow love to grow...just try not to hurt people
3-become real

live love

the lasagna

the lasagna said on the package..."keep frozen"...so how in the fuck can you cook it ???

dr. goose...marriage

timmy : dr. goose...what do you know about marriage ?

dr. goose : i know that love is a gentle spirit...that demands your
                 very soul and life

dr. goose : and i know that most people don't have time for that
                 kind of crap

dr.goose : lets face it , timmy...for most people...marriage is some
                sort of addiction or another

dr. goose : and the more potent the addiction...the better the chance
                 the marriage will stay together

dr. goose : the same mouth that licks the boot that kicks it
                 bites the hand that feeds it

timmy : that's just terrible , dr . goose

dr. goose : booze helps