letters to josh...april 27 2012 / return of the son of your untimely demise

did you see the movie...50 / 50 ??? well , my equivalent movie should be called 99 / 1...i mean , there is only a slight chance that i fucked up my liver...(the reason for my swollen blood cells in the first place)... in a way that is virtually irreparable ...that is to say , your liver recuperates many a time before it gives in to the tribulation of this world...added to that , my drinking really isn't that heavy...so all should be fine...regardless of the worst possible road this shit could potentially go down...and i quote : (if not treated properly) "usually you will die within three years"...just for the record...erection issues is another symptom of this thing-a-ma-jig...i am not upset...and...if i could go back in time...i would not change a thing...i was emotionally pulverized for the best part of a quarter of a century...and drinking-self medicating-made a lot of things a lot easier to deal with...A.A. would hate me...two reasons...drinking made my life better...not worse...(probably saved it)...and i quit excessively drinking in a heartbeat...with no issues what-so-ever...anyway...hope you like your birthday present...it will be a few days late...we will refer to these...as the mystery days...luv ya heaps...have a wonderful day...stu