apathy jan. 14 2012

apathy :

1-we are told something
2-told early enough and enough times...believe it
3-practice or not...all the same
4-the less truth there is...the more violent the defense
5-institutionalize this...and get others to believe the same

...yet the spiritual person is on a quest for truth :

1-told something
2-told something early enough...believe it
3-will begin to question
4-impose upon all..."is this conductive to love?"
5-be organic...real...in pursuit

...believe in love

(just for the record...don't you find it rather strange that there are thousands of religions out there...and , more or less,,,virtually everyone feels very little if any need to question the validity of their own...i guess they just feel lucky that , against all odds...they were born into the right one).  

the graveyard

i was in this grave yard
digging up this corpse
with this friend of mine
eating it for supper
we fry it up
on the george foreman grill
and my friend
and i use the term loosely
begins to eat the best part
i mean how can you trust someone
with such little respect ?
sure he is a good digger
but there is more to love
than just digging up a grave

how the universe was created part 9

about six or so years ago...i went through a three year period where i was attacked by demonic entities just about on a nightly basis...i would be told things...at times there would be cuts and bruises...and at one point there would even be attacks during the morning while i was completely awake...but that is not the strange part...the strange part is when we stayed at a haunted house somewhere around the south shore of nova scotia...one night...as i was awakened by a particular demon...i was to see a ghost meandering somewhere very close to the bathroom door...thing is...as far as i could perceive...neither the ghost or the demon were aware of the others presence...and my point...there is some freaky shit out there , puppy-cats...and until we get passed our arrogance and begin to entertain the possibility that there is far more going on than what meets the eye...there is no fucking way it can be understood .

how the universe was created part 8

in the final analysis...there is one great obstacle that separates us from understanding the universe...that being...we do not love each other...it goes like this...the real universe...or the best one anyway...is based upon nothing but pure unadulterated love...since the human condition is opposed to this...(loving your family does not count...we are biologically predisposed to love family...anyone who does not...generally speaking...is a monster)...we will perpetually keep projection our crap upon our analyses of what is out there...sure this may work with flying airplanes and blowing up puppies...(inside joke)...but until the intellect is married to a spiritual condition of love..."you will see but you will not understand" .

how the universe was created part 7

did you ever wonder why people brag about having sex but are reluctant to admit that they masturbate??? let me get this straight...only the most intelligent creatures on the planet masturbate...even cockroaches have sex...you know...it is just weird...especially when you add to the equation that most people don't even know how to fuck...and what is my point here??? simple...we make up our own rules , baby...and if in time we decide to change them...(masturbation would have fallen into the category of abnormal psychology  as recently as the 1950's)...we pretend like it never happened...and what is my point here??? even more simple...the universe will be discovered through emotional and spiritual intelligence...which is not necessarily one of humanities strong points .

how the universe was created part 6

if you were to take a careful look at an automobile...you will discover that , among other things...they are fucking violent pieces of machinery...or...in other words...they are a perfect reflection if their inventor...come to think of it...so is just about everything else that we have achieve on this planet...it's obvious , isn't it ??? not only is what we have accomplished a reflection of our inner selves...but how we perceive things is a reflection of our inner selves as well...that is to say...how this universe really works is not something that the human being...(generally speaking)...can possibly discern...there was a country song released in the summer of 1980 entitled..."looking for love in all the wrong places"...well...not are we only doing that...but let me add that the mysteries and complexities of this universe will never be understood while we are limiting them to scientific studies and logic...not that there is anything wrong with these things...but if you take a careful look around you...you will discover that they are contradicted on a regular basis...and ignoring these contradictions is to ignore a very important message from the creator .

January 25 2012

how the universe was created part 5

let us look at it this way...it is the fallen nature of man to understand everything...even when he does not have a fucking clue...for example...bigfoot...because we cannot catch up to the fucker...that means he don't exist...{excuse the english)...meanwhile...just a few years ago...we discovered a bug in central park...(of all places)...that we had no prior knowledge of...shit...i will do you one better than that...in 1994 i found an ant in california...that...according to my research...is not supposed to be on this planet...my point??? people will say any fucking thing at all to give themselves the false security of being in control...fact of the matter is...they don't know any more than your pet turtle...but in the midst of knowing nothing...the creature who we refer to as man...feels strangely compelled to believe he got it all sorted out .

flarmology videos

for flarmology videos...just hit the "you tube" button on the right hand side of the page .

how the universe was created part 4

my point is simple...what we see around us is more of an addiction than it is reality...reality is from another universe...and this one is full of unanswerable questions mainly because it was not created for the purpose of making sense...it was created for the purpose of souls finding some state of enlightenment...apparently...when jesus said that..."you should have as much desire for the things of this world as a dead man"...he wasn't talking about just new cars...fact of the matter is that we will keep on finding principals that contradict existing principals...open up your fucking eyes , my friends...though there may be elements of this universe being a science project...basically...it is a poem...and to understand it...it must be perceived as such .  

how the universe was created part 3

a friend of mine told me he would be over to my place at 7 : 15...but what i heard him say was 7 : 10...(he corrected me)...thing is...it turned out that he had two extra errands to do...which takes him to 7 : 30...and when did he arrive at my home , you ask... 7 : 10 right on the dot...here is another one...when i went on our annual retreat...i forgot to pack my jogging hat...(the hat does not actually jog...the jogging is done by me wearing the hat)...anyway , though i did not pack it...there it was in my bag...strange , eh ??? but get this...at the end of the week...i looked for my jogging hat but i could not find it...and when i arrived home...there it was on my desk...right where i had left it .

how the universe was created part 2

if time does not exist...then there are two possibilities concerning us humans...the first is obvious...we do not exist either...the second...that we are actually some place else looking at our counterfeits meandering around this planet...doing whatever they please...more or less...point...when jesus said..."the kingdom of god is within you"...maybe he was not simply referring to the holy spirit...and his place within our hearts...maybe we...(at least some of us)...are actually in heaven with god right now...outside of time...experiencing all of eternity as we feel fit...and maybe that the spiritual peace we feel in regards to our future...is not an intuition nearly as much as it is the fact that we are all ready safe and sound

how the universe was created part 1

fundamentalist religious people say the world was created in seven days...science...slowly over billions of years...(world...universe...whatever)...the truth is , however , that they are all full of shit...are you aware of how fucking huge the universe really is ??? there is no possible series of events that could have created it...and as for the seven day theory...that does not even deserve our attention...the truth is , more or less...we do not exist...the truth is...the universe as we know it...was created...grown...and destroyed all in a fraction of a "second"...as for what we perceive to be real...we are all caught in some fucking thing-a-ma-jig...watching what has already happened ...play itself out...for reasons we can only speculate...why does the immensity of everything seem to be too much to comprehend ??? because it is...more to come .

January 21 2012

the cougar...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

this fellow let this cougar
into the local bank
he ate just about everyone
and a lot of money too
people thought it was funny
good god man
people lost their lives
how can you say that it was funny???

it was amusing

the dogs coat...from the book / "there is a fly in my dongo wombat"

they put the coat  on the puppy
he barked
they thought that the bark meant
"thank you"
what he was saying however
was something quite different
what he was saying was
"this is not my size
it is not my color
and my ass is hanging out in the cold"
point
he did not like his coat

the frog...from the book / "there is a fly in my dongo wombat"

i find this talking frog
he tells me that if i kiss him
he will turn into
a beautiful young lady
and i can have my way with him
(him...who obviously is a her)
anyway   i tell her
( who i embarrassingly had mistaken
for a him)
that the problem with this
was that
for all my life
all i ever wanted to do
was screw
a talking frog

"ship harbor" / conclusion

it is a twisted society that forbids certain behaviors then offers no remedy for the behaviors that are forbidden...we are all just people are we are predisposed to just about everything...as the bible says..."there is no temptation but what is common to man"...it is only in an environment of love and mercy that people can actually become who they were created to become...or more to the point...become who they were created to become in the light of life fucking them over and permanently altering their personhood...the album "ship harbor" judges no one...(with the possible  exception of a certain drunk driver who hits and kills a little boy with his truck)...the town is full of mercy and acceptance of each others blemishes and such...and the bottom line is...wouldn't it be nice !!!

billy and timmy / from the album..."ship harbor"

billy never liked baseball
he just loved to watch timmy play
he would cheer from the sidelines
"go timmy" is what he would say
billy never liked football
he would paint his nails all that day
it became well known from age eight or nine
that billy was going to be gay

i remember the first jr. high dance
he just sat in the corner and stared
timmy was dancing with some sweet thing
billy pretended he didn't  care
then it all came down in grade nine
billy drank his mothers bottle of run
and made an announcement over the school p.a.
about his love his only one

he said " timmy i think about you
every second of every day
and if jesus gave me just one wish
making love to you is what i'd pray"
eight children peed their pants
and that's no exaggeration
others screamed others forgot how to speak
others used their imagination

that was 20 years ago
billy and timmy are still around
and if you believe the gossip line
they are the happiest couple in town

jenny / from the album..."ship harbor"

jenny wanted to be beauty queen
of the village fair
jenny was only four feet high
she had worms in her hair
jenny weighed 300 pounds
she didn't have any teeth
jenny's breasts on either side
looked like a hunk of beef

first they put on their bathing suits
she looked like a can of tropical punch
and when she took it off for a laugh
seven people lost their lunch
next was time to give a speech
she waddled to the stage
and screamed out how minorities
should be locked up in a cage

finally it was talent time
and she took her lucky charms
she ate three boxes in five minutes
and she didn't use her arms
jenny didn't win the beauty show
jenny came in third
now she tours the world selling lucky charms
at least that's what i have heard

mary's corner store / from the album..."ship harbor"

mary owned a corner store
sold cigarettes and pie
chocolate bars to little kids
whole wheat bread and rye

mary owned a corner store
the screen door had a bell
she stole it from the neighbors cow
but no one would ever tell

mary had a corner store
mary liked her rum
blind drunk by 10 every day
stone cold drunk by one

a stranger once came into town
and into mary's store
cracked a joke about her afterwards
he don't come round no more

mary is an alcoholic
mary is a drunk
mary lost her little boy
to some ass hole in a truck

mary cries between customers
staring at a stolen cow bell
and if she ever made a slight request
she'd get the cow as well

charlie / from the album..."ship harbor"

charlie sold puppies in the village
somehow all the puppies were blue
they thought it was weird
but nobody cared
they just bought a puppy or two

charlie was born mentally challenged
we walked around without any clothes
they thought it was weird
but nobody cared
they figured that's just how it goes

charlie was abducted by aliens
al least that's what he said to everyone
they thought it was weird
but nobody cared
it seemed to be a whole lot of fun

charlie decided to run for mayor
he got a hat that said "vote for me"
they thought it was weird
but  nobody cared
and the mayor thought it was funny

but here's the thing that happened
charlie accidentally won
they all though their vote
would just be a joke
now who do you think is dumb

the food critic / from the album..."ship harbor"

mr. jones was the town food critic
but there was no radio station
there was no town news paper
or any other publication
mr. jones had lost his taist buds
in the second world war
mr. jones was the local food critic
but nobody knew what for

the only restaurant in town
served fish and chips and clams
mr. jones went there every week
and reviewed it again and again
mr. jones had lost his wife
in the winter of 53
and was taken to the cleaners
by the insurance company

mr. jones was invited to every house
to give his little review
every meal was two thumbs up
he loved the people too
mr. jones didn't have any money
but that didn't seem to matter
every day he ate for free
every week got a little bit fatter

January 14 2012

still a child...from the album / "ship harbor"

he was very young still a  child
calm as the moon but his eyes were wild
he decided to go for a little stroll
first day of the year the wind did blow
just a little exercise
try to burn off new year pies
walking down a country road
they slammed on the breaks so we are told
some things in life just aren't real
like when a loved one gets hit by an automobile

the first two weeks they thought he'd die
the town was confused they wondered why
they tried to feed him but it would not take
didn't want food but he sure could drink
40 days and 40 nights later
his body rose like an elivater
and all were rewarded for their care
with the worlds first alcoholic grizzly bear

his favorite drink was probably rum
when he woke in the morning he wanted some
and afternoon he loved his rye
couldn't walk straight but he sure did try
as the sun went down he was stone cold drunk
and fall asleep in the back of a truck
they split the bill it was only fair
for the worlds first alcoholic grizzly bear

garret / from the album..."ship harbor"

garret was a fisherman
upon the open water
garret thought his wife was fine
but the ocean was his lover

garret was a fisherman
he stroked his wife's moist breasts
but the waves upon the sea
were his treasure chest

garret was a fisherman
he put his love within her
but the net upon the sea
brought his only dinner

garret was a fisherman
he kissed his wife good-by
but when the fishing season was at end
was the only time he'd cry

garret dies one august day
upon a storm at sea
his best friend watched him be swept away
with peace and tranquility

the news was brought to his wife
that same stormy night
she took out a pack of smokes
then she took out a light

garret was a fisherman
who lost his life at sea
but when he got lost he got found
'cause that the way she be

ned the adulterer / from the album..."ship harbor"

ned the adulterer
lived in a small town on the water
he had a little fishing boat
he inherited from his father
blue sharks  were his favirite game
said they could feed you for about a year
some said shark tasted like rubber
but it went down good with beer

ned the adulterer
was just a little bit different
he was born with a fear of girls
and all that type of commitment
ned had a fear of intimacy
ned had a fear of sex
ned the adulterer was a virgin
to put in proper context

it started many years ago
at the high school graduation
instead of falling for a girl
he fell for overcompensation
a no one ever said a thing
they let him live his life inside his head
fantasizing of true romance
and things to do in bed

the village idiot / from the album..."ship harbor"

every village has an idiot
a weirdo with a hundred cats
sammy dressed in sacloth and ashes
went around reciting intergalactic math

sammy sold election buttons from the last election
sammy never figured out who had won
sammy stold flowers from mary's garden
she would come out sammy would run

sammy played baseball with the children
sammy never once hit the ball
sammy never cought one in the outfield
it would hit him on the head and sammy would fall

sammy found a bear cub in the forest
sammy took it home and kept it around
sammy shampooed his hair and brushed his teeth
now we got a grizzly bear in town

pastor smith / from the album..."ship harbor"

there was only one church in town
and the preacher was pastor smith
every sunday he would stand at the podium
and talk with a stammer and lisp
he would wave his hands and pick his nose
he would tell them that and this
and every sermon would always end
with god he don't exist


he would rant and scream like a little girl
calling every believer idiots and midgets
he would make fun of the pope and billy graham
he said the disciples were a bunch of idiots
jesus was just a man
and not much of one at that
he never raised nothing from the dead
he couldn't pull a rabbit out of a hat

nobody really gave a damn
they all figured life was too short
they would just sit and read the sunday paper
or have a little sip of port
they figured the lesson they had to learn
was be thankful for what you got
you see pastor smith was a bootlegger too
and they all liked that a lot

intro to "ship harbor"

scott and i wrote and recorded , more or less , 40 albums over an 18 month period...the next one we will release lyrics to is entitled "ship harbor"...basically , it is a collection of songs centered around the lives of the people who live in a fictitious town in the middle of nowhere...however , what distinguishes this town from most others...is the compassion and sense of community everyone had for each other...oh , yes...if this appeals to you...rent the movie..."lars and the real girl"...similar in texture and theme...luv stu  

the yeti...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo wombat"

this young man spent
nine years in post secondary education
getting his doctors
in outdoor experience
when he completed his studies
he immediately packed up his stuff
and went on a yeti safari
where he was eaten by a yeti
on the first day
three days later
the yeti had a crap
and wiped his ass
with the fellows doctor degree
then he turned to his yeti friend
and said
why in hell
did that idiot
take his doctors degree
on a safari???

he did not know

the spirit of lust / from the album..."the second coming"

the pastor had an alter call
my girl went to the front
said she had to get delivered
for being such a slut

chorus :

please pastor don't cast out the spirit of lust
please pastor there is so much other stuff
cast out the spirit of being stupid
or maybe being cheap
but the spirit of lust
is one we gotta keep

she started foaming at the mouth
she fell down on the ground
pea soup sprayed everywhere
and she spun her head around

chorus :

footnote : did you ever wonder why religious folk are so intensely concerned with what you do in your bed room...and don't give a flying fuck if you are the most bitter person in the world ??? bottom line...i think they are talking more about their own sexuality than anyone else .

halifax water front part 1

the year...1986...some stranger walks up to me and says..."are you stephen strang???" (stephen strang being my brother who i look nothing like)...i reply..."no"...he looks into my eyes and says..."yea , stephen strang died in a hunting accident"...my response..."no , steve is alive and doing quite well"...a few weeks later...stephen dies in a hunting accident .

beautiful illusion nov. 26 2011

whatever activity you embrace...if it leads you into arrogance , selfishness , deception...or other such things...then it is wrong...look at it this way...only love really exists...which , in fact , means that most of what we do...is not actually real...point...do you really want to compromise the state of your soul for something that does not actually exist??? there is only one truth...it is hidden in a world that is consumed by lies and deceptions...take not the easy way...the way that promises immediate gratification , power...and the like...the journey of love will cost you everything...but in the end...you will realize that the everything you have lost...is nothing !!!

irony...from the book / "there is a fly in my dingo-wombat"

children believe that
getting married
will resolve their sexual frustration
gather around kids
and let me educate you on the
wonderful thing that we refer
to as irony
you see
the thing is
when two people love each other so much
that they get married
in a very short while
they stop having sex
and then
just to fuck it up even more
they tell their kids
not to have sex
until they get married
which seems to make sense
because the little pricks
just don't know a thing
about irony

creation / from the album..."the second coming"

god created the world in seven days
he did it just for fun
but if you turn to chapter two
he made the fucker in one

science came all over the place
like a thousand dollar whore
these fossils we found are fucking old
we will call them dinosaur

the church now had a problem
and dinosaur was it
no matter how much they drank and toked
they were deep in dinosaur sit

the pope just said screw it
as he shoved his head in a bucket
the devil did it
and if you don't believe it
you can take my dick and suck it

a lot of time has come and gone
since we dealt with all of that
the modern man cheats on his wife
and beats his dog and cat

footnote : the thing about pretending you are an ultimate authority...is that you can say anything you so wish and it is beyond reproach...my advice is to keep away from any person or religion that  even remotely suggests that they are infallible...and just for the record...the pope supported hitler because he was against smoking...do the math . 

the pig song / from the album..."the second coming"

god doesn't want you eating pig
it's the wrong food to be taken
and you best not be having ham
forget about eating bacon
a pig is a dirty animal
that rolls around in shit
you would roll around in it too
if it stopped them from eating you

god doesn't want you eating pig
or sucking someones cock
stone to death the rebellious kid
who takes his dick and plays with it
while the pig is being fried
you could be committing genocide
because it pisses god off
if you let those fuckers hide

footnote : fact of the matter is....roughly 10 % of the old testament is concerned with "god" telling israel to wipe out various tribes and such...roughly translated...to take the bible literally is to believe that mass murder is not only fine idea...but god will hate you if you see it otherwise...more to come .

January 2 2012

hot dogs / from the album..."the second coming"

some people are like hotdogs
you don't know where they come from
scared , stupid and hiding
behind mustard and a bun
some people are like wieners
completely full of shit
not fit enough to be flushed
down the toilet

i used to work raising hotdogs
i was on a hotdog farm
i was told they were quite friendly
then they trapped me behind the barn
they strapped me to a thing-a-ma-jig
then they started grinding me
i was filled with lies and religion
then they nailed me to a tree


3 days and 2 nights later
and a billion operations
was freed of lips and ass holes
and all their inclinations
now i travel around the world
saving pigs and hogs
from the cold hands of religion
turning them into hotdogs

footnote : this is probably the weirdest allegory on the life of jesus ever written...but you can still get the point .

pressure dec. 22 2011

problems are met with responses to problems...the greater the struggle...the greater the potential response...(within reason)...yet this is NOT the way most react...dynamics : 1-crisis...2-fear...3-disorientation...4-wrong decision...5-institutionalize / justify...yet...how should we deal with pressure...1-crisis...2-seen as opportunity...3-we embrace god within the circumstances...4-truth is embraced...5-humility and the acknowledgement to self that the truth may only be partial...non of us like pressure...but my experience is that when we run away from something...we eventually run right back into it in a slightly different form...love is facing what is real .