there was only one church in town
and the preacher was pastor smith
every sunday he would stand at the podium
and talk with a stammer and lisp
he would wave his hands and pick his nose
he would tell them that and this
and every sermon would always end
with god he don't exist
he would rant and scream like a little girl
calling every believer idiots and midgets
he would make fun of the pope and billy graham
he said the disciples were a bunch of idiots
jesus was just a man
and not much of one at that
he never raised nothing from the dead
he couldn't pull a rabbit out of a hat
nobody really gave a damn
they all figured life was too short
they would just sit and read the sunday paper
or have a little sip of port
they figured the lesson they had to learn
was be thankful for what you got
you see pastor smith was a bootlegger too
and they all liked that a lot
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