ode to a turtle...from the album / "short stories"

i bought me a turtle
but you made turtle soup
you returned him to his bowl
you crapped out turtle poop
i bought me another turtle
but you ate him for dinner
i keep on looking at the bowl
but there ain't no turtle in there

chorus :

if i'm so full of shit
why do you always grab my ass
if you didn't eat my turtle
why do you fart out turtle gas
my turtle was not abducted
by those fucking aliens
why did you eat my turtle
and eat him once again

i remember just last year
when i bought me a turtle
he was more than life to me
i would have given him my world
i thought he might be god
the way the truth the light
you ate my fucking turtle
you didn't give me a bite