thank you

with unmeasurable gratitude...flarmology would like to thank SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY and O.K.GO...for their befriending the flarmology video channel on YOU TUBE...thank you so much!!! love stu and the entire flarmology family . 

dr .goose and religion

timmy : dr. goose...why do we have religion???

dr. goose : it is mans nature to control each other , timmy

dr. goose : it is also mans nature to not take responsibility for it

dr. goose : and that is why we have religion

dr. goose : in religion...not only can i fuck you around...but i can also blame it on god

dr. goose : i knew this guy once who actually believed god told him to screw his buddies wife

timmy : that is just terrible dr. goose

dr. goose : you are absolutely right , timmy...she was the worst lay i ever had

September 28

mid east relationship

a lady friend of mine recently had a long distant internet relationship with an individual in the mid east...love grew...things happened...and....as always...truth was revealed...the truth this time however was not what my friend expected...you see...the fine young man she was having intimate relationships with...turned out to be a woman...here is the shit..."cats and dogs"...don't try to be anything other than yourself...joy is only found in truth...and the truth about yourself...is all you have to give...anything else...there is no connection...in the immortal words of james taylor..."b.s.u.r.".

the quarter

there were these two men approaching these two boys on a city street...one man says to the other..."watch me show you how stupid the kid on the left is"...he walks up to him and says..."hey , young fellow...do you want me to give you this shiny quarter...or this ugly old one dollar bill???"...the boy replies."i will take the quarter , sir"...the man gives the child the coin...winks at his friend...and then the two of them are on their way...the other child scratches his head and says..."why in the fuck did you not take the dollar???" the boy smiles and replies..."cause that's when the game ends".

don't look through peoples shit!!!

so i am on a date with the ministers daughter...i go to the washroom to have a pee...i come back...she has a strange look on her face...long story short...she looked through my stuff and found naked pictures of myself...i am in deep shit with the church...next scene...20 years later...i am a nude model at the local art school...and guess who is paying good money to draw me...she walks up to after class...we both laugh...she says..."full circle , eh stu???" indeed...the universe does ebb and flow...we do" reap what we sew"...be careful , little puppy-cats...karma may not be instant...but it sure as hell is...luv stu

the raccoon

there i was at camp...taking care of the kids while the rest had their daily meeting...suddenly...a noise...the sound of crashing and breaking of sticks came from the woods...a bear , obviously...i ran to the lodge to get assistance...this monster must not be allowed to munch on the children...we ran fully armed back to the place of the sighting...and there it was before us...not a bear actually...a bit dangerous , maybe...you know...if you were a squirrel...o.k...it was a raccoon...here is my point , friends...fear will always take you to a bad place...be of sound mind...relax...respond in peace and humility...let love rule...and make all decisions from that perspective.

american idol

the winner of "american idol"
had a moment of clarity
a revelation of sorts
so he decided to call his debut album
"shit doesn't just come out of my ass"
anyway
it did not help sales
but god was pleased  

the horse

i was in switzerland for a month...living on top of this hill...a horse was not far away...and every day i attempted to get just a little bit closer to him...(he was shy)...it took three weeks or so but finally he let me pet him...unfortunately...as my hand touched his beautiful and soft brown nose...my elbow touched what turned out to be an electric fence...he ran one direction...i ran another...my friends...it may take you years to develop trust...yet...that same trust can be ruined in a second...think about it.

September 22

b.m.w.

a friend of a friend recently saw an add in the paper...someone was selling a b.m.w. for 50 dollars...he quickly hurried over to the location and made the purchase...now , before he left...he had to ask the obvious question..."why are you selling a brand new b.m.w. for 50 dollars???" her reply..."my husband recently died and during the reading of the will...it was disclosed that , not only did he have a mistress...but i was supposed to sell the car and give her 50% of the profits"...my point is simple...long after the car has expired and the money spent...the hurtful memory will remain...the only house worth building...is one of love .

September 21

screw

walking down "the road of life" recently...i was inspired to curb my direction and proceed on a new path...there i found two 50 pound boxes of screws...four and one half and five and one half inches long...i called my carpenter friend and within a few hours he arrived ...here is what makes this somewhat of a miracle...you see...the day before...he purchased two fifty pound boxes of screws of the same size and material...but forgot to load them in his truck...hence...he paid for the product but never collected...events like this are common to my life...and here is , from my limited observation , why...love is not a feeling nor simply an experience...love is spirit...and we pull it into our universe from another more real universe...this process is very abstract...and we dont know what will be pulled in with it...all we know is...it will be beautiful.

addiction

my brother was a gun addict...in 1986...he shot a duck...went into the water to get it...and drowned...my father was a gun addict...just over a year ago...tired of his struggle with cancer...he shot himself in the face in the wonderful company of his wife...(if i had been there...i would have been killed too)...anyway...here is my point...everything that gives us comfort...is not always good for us...and everything that makes us uncomfortable...is not always bad for us...look around...see the light...dont define yourself by what you feel...live love...things will appear differently...luv stu

the wager of sin

the religious paradigm suggests quite strongly...that if one is caught in some type of sin or another...not only are they to be punished...but furthermore...they are to be looked down upon for an undetermined length of time...to put it simply...one may as well repeat the offense as often as one wants...i mean...why not??? if you are screwed anyway...may has well have fun being screwed...and this is in opposition to a truly spiritual community...whereupon if one does fuck up...others are immediately there to nurture and support back to a place of real emotional and spiritual health...get the difference???  

energy

here is something you might find interesting...in my 24 years of community development...i have knowingly lied four times...each one at the exact same place...weirder still...it was in a church that was founded upon a lie hundreds of years before...my point??? energy is real...and we respond to it regardless if we are consciously aware or not...have a nice day !!! 

willie nelson

o.k...so this rather young lady got this tattoo of willie nelson on her belly...and guess what simulated willies beard??? yup...you guessed it...thing is...she aint gonna get any younger...someday...heaven forbid...she is going to look like shit...point...we all have some type of metaphoric willie nelson on our belly...think about tomorrow before you make any decisions...life will be better that way.

the postcard

so...i was in a state of meditation...praying about my lady friend...who lived on the other side of the world...i meandered into an art shop...the sales girl grabbed me and said..."you gotta look at these"...then proceeded to take me to their post card selection...and there...in front of me...was a picture of my girlfriend...unbelievable...i immediately concluded that this was a sign that we would indeed be together...what i failed to embrace was...she was with another man...paul simon said it best..."a man sees what he wants to see...and disregards the rest".

September 15

another dog story

one more dog story...a friend of a friend went to the states with the family pooch...and...just like before...the old fellow died...(the dog...not the friend)... this time they attempted to bring him home in a suitcase on a bus , however...and yep...the suitcase...complete with dog...was stolen...what we think we want...is not always what we want...luv stu

elton john???

speaking of nudity...here is a story for you...back in 2000...i was on a nude beach in the south of france...and , though i could be mistaken...i am reasonably sure that elton john was just 20 or so meters away from where i was...(for a fact...he was in town that day)...anyway...besides that it looked like him...there is another reason why i believed it to be sir elton...he looked poverty stricken...point...when people deteriorate emotionally...they become the exact opposite of what they are created to be...(community builders become dividers , for example)...because of this dynamic...it only seems reasonable that one of the richest men in the world would fake being poor... subconscious mind at work...life is a process of being taken back to our true selves...luv stu

September 13

in defense of scientology

it seems that the fundamentalist christians have labeled scientology a  particularly dark type of cult and are doing everything in their power to fuck the religion right up the ass...well...before you join the band wagon there are a couple of things you ought to know...firstly...fundamentalist religions , of any brand...figure they have a monopoly on truth and therefore...it is their sworn duty to drive all other religions into the ground...roughly translated...you could be next on their proverbial shit list...secondly...i have a few degrees in religion and have studied cults...that is to say...this whole world is a fucking cult...so as long as nobody is made to drink coolaid...people should simply just leave each other alone...and that is about it...luv stu

peace and quiet

potential responses to volatile situations :

1-fear
2-jealousy
3-revengs
4-anger
5-acceptance

regarding the first four...we see that people do not see the need to deal appropriately with the situation
dynamics :

1-situation
2-filter it through #1 to #4
3-add arrogance to allow you to justify
4-new reality
5-impose it through violence / deceit / forgetting facts / "cherry picking" friends / bribes

peace and quiet :

1-situation
2-see it for what it is
3-submit #1 to #4 to god
4-work at it : prayer / humility / community / suffering / counselling
5-acceptance : brings discernment and truth

...the americans spent...

the americans spent...god only knows how much money...inventing a "magic" pen that would write upside down in outer-space...after much time and laboring..."mission accomplished"...the russians achieved the same result...some people refer to it...as a pencil...point...we only have so many days on this strange little planet...use your time and resources wisely...luv stu

reptiles

...back in australia...a friend of mine and myself went to this lake...had some beer...cigars...great music...a late night swim...a perfect day...there was just one problem...we were later to discover that the lake was infested with crocodiles...we had no security...just an illusion...i remember when i found out that my neighbor had a ton of explosives in his basement...strange days...our only real security is to walk in the midst of love...it is the force that directs the universe...it is a current...let it carry you away...luv stu

September 8

homing pigeon

the homing pigeon can travel all the way across the world to find its place of abode...for many a year people have been bewildered by this mother-fucking bird and how he could accomplish such a thing...through much experimentation they-the scientists-finally made an important discovery...and that is...though they still do not know how the bird does it...they do know that if you cover his left nostril...he cannot...yup...lost as an atheist who has a vision of jesus...and what does this mean to us??? hard to say...probably nothing...but what it should mean is easy...that being...be humble , little puppy-cats...as we do not have a fucking clue in regards to what is really going on here...and we may never .    

pope cartoon

the duck hunter

this gentleman is protesting against windmill power...the reason is simple...from time to time...a duck will fly into the windmill and be chopped into bits...an animal lover you say...well...not entirely...you see...the truth of the situation is that this fellow is a duck hunter...and if the windmill chops them up...there are less ducks for him to kill...and my point...people have a lot of motives for doing a lot of different things...not everyone who gives you shit is trying to hurt you...and not everyone who comes to your defense is one your side...just something to think about .

the brain law

there is law concerning the brain...it is quite simple..."the larger the brain...the smarter the animal"...science has made an exception to this law however...the exception is as follows..."this law does not apply if an animal has a brain larger than a human's"...maybe it is just me...but being as arrogant as satan is probably not the best way to prove your intelligence .

the bridge

1992...a friend of mine and myself are driving across this bridge...a child looks as if he is about to jump off...we put on the breaks...i get out to stop the kid...too late...next scene...i am in the office of an anglican priest...(my boss)...i tell him about the child...he replies..."how many girls do you have in your senior basketball program???" point...spirituality is us embracing the divine : LOVE...religion...that is our interpretation of the divine...and we were not having a good day when we thought it up either...luv stu

sneakers

apparently...they have recently discovered that sneakers that support the weakest parts of your feet...may , in fact , be detrimental to your health...that is to say...the weakest parts of your body should be strengthened...not pampered...point...challenge yourself...don't run away from what is difficult...i had a "blow out" in 1987...i was told to avoid certain situations...i did not take that advice...in fact...i began to look for what was "screwing me up"...we can only find the cure for what ails us...by confronting what ails us...luv stu

the industrial accident

i was talking to this fellow recently...he was telling me how his grandfather had this industrial accident where he was crushed by these two beams while working on a bridge...forgetting that he was suspended...his co-workers proceeded to untrap his mangled body...where upon he fell hundreds of feet...crashing on solid ice...he survived...only to fall a few feet a couple of years later to his death...it is hard to say what is really happening here on planet earth...let us not make dogmatic judgments upon such an occurrence...let us simply conclude...what we think is going on...ain't...luv stu

September 1

the bed bug

for two months he haunted me...i kinda felt like spiderman...being stalked by the green goblin...i began to respect him...the hunter of the night...always one step a head of me...i began to feel attached to my bites on my ass...they were my war wounds...my badges of honor...i was indeed against the best of the best...and when he finally had fallen into my trap...and when he finally was made as flat as a tin can stepped upon by godzilla...there was a tear in my eye...no , wait a minute...i remember now...i laughed my fucking ass off .