it's a tough go , baby
1-develop all your mates stupid habits...that way...you will not have to feel that you married a dud...and they will not resent you for being superior .
2-pretend they are god...build an alter with all their shit around it...and leave a 100 $ bill by their picture every day... what ever you do...do not forget the candles .
3-hire a beggar whip-diddle to have sex with them...beggar whip-diddles never get caught...so you do not have to worry about your mate getting embarrassed...and taking you to court for all you are worth .
4-buy a pet rat...and a bull terrier...throw the rat at the bull terrier and let the party begin...make sure the lens cap is off...and do not forget the butter pop corn .
5-communication is a huge part of every successful relationship...roughly translated...learn how to be a good liar .
6-do not laugh if their mother passes away...and if you do...just point up into the sky and say..."look , a per-historic bird"...diversion works every time .
7-throw yourself into a pool of sharks...people love being heroes...but if it seems they are not going to rescue you...yell out..."don't rescue me...the world won't survive without you!!!" that way they will not feel embarrassed .
8-adopt a teenage boy...nothing brings people together like a common enemy .
9-let them win at ping-pong...but make sure they do not win so badly that they see you as no competition...this could lead to divorce...or poisoned bacon and eggs .
10-watch "the love guru"...amen
2-pretend they are god...build an alter with all their shit around it...and leave a 100 $ bill by their picture every day... what ever you do...do not forget the candles .
3-hire a beggar whip-diddle to have sex with them...beggar whip-diddles never get caught...so you do not have to worry about your mate getting embarrassed...and taking you to court for all you are worth .
4-buy a pet rat...and a bull terrier...throw the rat at the bull terrier and let the party begin...make sure the lens cap is off...and do not forget the butter pop corn .
5-communication is a huge part of every successful relationship...roughly translated...learn how to be a good liar .
6-do not laugh if their mother passes away...and if you do...just point up into the sky and say..."look , a per-historic bird"...diversion works every time .
7-throw yourself into a pool of sharks...people love being heroes...but if it seems they are not going to rescue you...yell out..."don't rescue me...the world won't survive without you!!!" that way they will not feel embarrassed .
8-adopt a teenage boy...nothing brings people together like a common enemy .
9-let them win at ping-pong...but make sure they do not win so badly that they see you as no competition...this could lead to divorce...or poisoned bacon and eggs .
10-watch "the love guru"...amen
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