selah part 5

was i in love??? i still havent figured it out...all i can say is...thank god for intuition...fact of the matter is...if i had known what was about to happen to me...i would have broken it off with her...nobody in the world should have to stay with someone who was about to take the direction that i was to take...i could have done it differently...they gave me all the fucking chances to back down in the world...but there is this thing called integrity..."a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do"...come october 31st 1994...my money...my reputation...my girl...most of my ministry...my emotional health...(i spent the next year in denial about it all...then the depression...the post tramatic stress...the loss of sleep...it all hit at once)..."is this the end of underdog???" well...lets put it this way...in the words of charles bucouski..."i began my life surrounded by ass holes...but i would rather begin my life surrounded by ass holes than end my life surrounded by ass holes"...luv stu