the road is long...long is the road .

bits and pieces...

it is easier to bash someone into little pieces...than it is to love them .

life and waves...

life happens in waves...waves also happen in waves .

the loch ness monster...

the loch ness monster...is probably locked up more inside himself than he is the lake .

love can...

love can heal your heart and tear down your house...both at the same time .

jesus can do almost everything...

jesus caught a bullet with his teeth...but it never made headlines .

hard to say...

my father left me a message...FUCK YOU...he said .

...maybe he has a point...hard to say...

...this generation...

this is a generation that you want to pretend does not exist...maybe .

the future...

THE FUTURE STARTS NOW...but if you start it tomorrow you are still doing better than anyone else .

...how did dinosaurs ???

evolution , my ass...how did dinosaurs learn to read poetry ???

dying...

'' i am dying , am i ??? '' well...the way you put it...it sounds absolutely horrible .

saved...

...for every time you save someone's life...an appreciation stick will be shoved up your ass .

...the more shit...

the more shit you flush...the more likely it is that god gives you a new toilet for your birthday .

people...

people...do what they do...then invent a reason for it .

real men...

real men do not wear penis pads .

eternity has its moods...lust like the rest of us...

eternity has its moods...just like the rest of us .

who to date...

i never date a religious fanatic...and hardly ever let them suck on my private domain .

...love knows...

...love knows how to slide tackle .

fucking around...

fucking around on your significant other...the new...'' eating a candy bar '' .

suck-ology...

suck on my road to truth , justice , integrity and goodness and love .

the cod...

if a cod can swim upstream...is he a freak or a miracle .

love...and there is another direction...

love...will .

convenience...

more often than not...what makes something convenient for us...fucks up the life of another .

shit removal...

metaphoric shit removal...a dangerous game .

...the world needs...

...the world needs more masturbating...and less wanking...

look...godzilla...

what you say will soon be forgotten...unless , of course , it is something like...LOOK , GODZILLA .

happy special day...

lock up road kill...not unconditional love .

oven mitts...

oven mitts...are for those who don't have ovens .

neighbour's limitations...

you do not understand your neighbour 's limitations...by dropping a pig on his face .

he who hesitates...

he who hesitates...avoids the bombing of the city .

buildings...

if women invented buildings...they would look softer and flatter...and their hair would look different .

...crabs...

...we never get the crabs we deserve .

reality...

reality...god is still working on it .

...in touch...

being in touch with who you really are...be it heterosexual or homosexual...is what takes life to a whole new level .

...power per square inch...

love is measured by power per square inch .

people's love...

the problem is not people's love...the problem is that they love themselves more than anyone else .

give a fuck...

once you discern that someone does not give a fuck...you got to ask yourself...TO WHAT EXTENT DO THEY NOT GIVE A FUCK ???

...a healed neurosis...

a healed neurosis can make for a super orgasm .

...go figure...

apparently , in countries where it is illegal to be a homosexual...there are far less homosexuals .

...the whore of babylon...

...someone buy the WHORE OF BABYLON...a vibrator .

...excuses...

every year of life should come equipped with a six pact of excuses .

someday...truth...

...someday truth will be washed upon the right beach .

the two thieves...

the thief on the left wanted jesus to remember him...one one on the right...well...he wanted a new volvo .

...bullshit...

every time you ''bullshit ''...you have to alter the rest of your existence to accommodate it .

falling in love...

when you '' fall in love ''...try to fall in a way that gives you a view of the universe .

my friend , parker...

my friend , PARKER...named his house...THE HOUSE OF SASQUATCH...though he never really saw one .

...jerk your way into heaven...

...i want a religion where i can jerk my way into heaven .

the are gallery...

...then there was the art gallery that paid me fifty dollars to keep my clothes on .

sex...with a capital '' p '' .

sex...either hide it...or smear it all over someones face .

big universe...

the universe is just one big giant act of heresy .

...the world shakes...

the world shakes hoping that most of us fall off .

wack your way...

wack your way into the afterlife .

the game of life...

...if you don't play our game...you don't get to bight the head off the rat .

what you are doing...

it is fine if you don't know what it is you are doing...just don't expect an award for it .

the right end...

if you got to cut an inch off your pocket pussy...then make sure it is off the right end .

tails and kites...

...my kite may not have a tail...but my tail may not have a kite .

sexual stuff...

everyone has some weird sexual thing going on...and that is why we go to church...to learn how hide it .

dogs in space...

dogs in space...they bark at the moon .

eternity....

eternity is not lost...it just looks that way .

see through you...

people will give themselves away...it may take one minute...maybe two...but it will happen .

...connect connection...

connect connection...LOVE .

...walk the dog...

...i want to pet the dog...but he has better things to do...like walk .

...a better deal...

next time you find yourself looking for a BETTER DEAL...remember...A BETTER DEAL usually has sharp fangs and has a thing about biting off testicles just for the fun of it .

when love consumes...

when love consumes you...you are actually looking at a completely different universe...you just don't know it .

yeti vs sasquatch...

why is a yeti more likely to attack you than a sasquatch ???  because a sasquatch knows what a gun looks like .

give more...

you can give more from your spirit...than your pocket book  .

i don't know how to spell...OSTRIDGE...

johnny cash got ripped in two by a giant partridge...and so goes the universe .

...the excuse...

an excuse can be...BULL SHIT...or a way of figuring out how you got stuck in one big fucking mess or another .

ode to a pocket pussy...

...there is no difference between a church where you cannot use a pocket pussy...and one where you have to use a pocket pussy...it is the same fucking thing .

...truth is not...

truth is not a target .

...go insane...

it is not our insanity that fucks everything up...it is the fact we believe we are not insane that does the damage .

...teach us to be frauds...

LORD , TEACH US TO BE FRAUDS...

...is not the lord's prayer .

nudity...and bowling...

nudity is not for bowling .

your theology...

your theology is in your spit...shit...piss...as well as between your ears .

embrace compassion...

embrace compassion...right until the moment it smashes against your head .

...fixed...

two things that are fixed...life and your dog .

...dust in the wind...

shit can become...'' dust in the wind "...just the lesser variety...and they won't write a song about it .

space travel...

...did you know that they invented space travel...before they invented the pocket pussy ???

...love substitute...

before you apply '' love substitute ''...make sure it won't snap you like a twig .

...a better tomorrow...

a better tomorrow starts with clean underwear .

...fidget...

fidget with a better tomorrow .

...a beautiful soul...

a beautiful soul...causes fear and suspicion .

chewing gum...

do not accidentally place your penis inside your chewing gum .

change...

the moment you ate my cat...i left your side...and you think that was unfair of me...well...tell that to the fucking cat !!!

what fills us...

what fills us up...becomes our direction .

freedom , baby...

freedom may be free...but the complimentary blow job is taxed one billion dollars .

learning...

we are here to learn what we have to learn...right after i screw you over .

life should be...

...life should be more than just endured .

life flies by...

if life flies by you like a pudding...consider yourself lucky .

why we are alive...

we are alive on this planet for god to teach us the letter...''P''...and the numbers ''3'' and ''seven'' .

...unfucked...

you spend all your life trying to get fucked...just to realise you got to get unfucked .

human sexuality...

human sexuality is like a spider monkey without the tree to swing on .

...wish you were here...

just had wonderful orgasm...wish you were here to watch .

surrades...movie category...

the girl waved her hand...i said...'' from here to eternity ''...and i won .

aliens...

no matter how many aliens we discover...non will never be more alien than us .

...the secret of the universe...

the secret of the universe...will never fit in your nut sack .

...what matters...

what matters...is that very few things matter .

blind as a bat...

maybe the world is all about you...and i am just blind as a bat .

...the new game...

...doing shitty things...and expecting good results .

another hole...

i don't need another donut...and i certainly don't need another hole .

at the zoo...

then you discover that your best friend was in love with the lion down in the zoo...which , of course...explained all those scratches .

...the universe...a spitting thing...

if you spit your shit across the universe...you will get the attention you thought you always deserved .

...love fails to fail...

love fails to fail...and fucks up fucking up .

...spreading truth...

the best way to spread the truth...is to stick it up someone's ass and light it .