...ship harbour...

down load SHIP HARBOUR...( to your right )...and don't forget to smile .

truth and spoons...

if truth comes to you in the form of soup...make sure nobody sticks a spoon up your ass .

an open book......glues shut...

most lives are an open  book...glued shut , with spikes all around it .

feathers and birds...

feathers can't fly without birds...find yourself a bird and fly .

...bad luck...

...it is bad luck to let someone slit your throat .

crackers and more crackers...

we cannot control...we can only feed our budgie crackers .

magic...

people who find love to be magic...usually end up putting a hex on their friends .

maniacs do things..

...maniacs do things quickly...

...when someone...

when someone who likes everyone doesn't like you...be concerned .

sexual profile...

sexual profile...completely fucked .

...pull out of your ass...

whatever you pull out of your ass...may it add sunshine to your day .

concerning things...

what is god concerned about ??? how about this...concerning things .

love grows...

...love grows best in cracks and holes .

how to treat people...

treat people the same way you would treat them if they had a sign around their neck that read...FREE BLOW JOB .

out of wack...

the more someone's moral compass is out of wack...the more they demand justice .

...chewing gum...

i bought myself some chewing gum thinking people would stick around after they got what they wanted .

...they did not .

more on control...

anger , judgement , hatred and the like...only bring the illusion of control...control itself...is from another universe...one not so fucked up .

...ass holes and wishes...

it is usually only ass holes that grant wishes .

grill cheese sandwich...

love is a grilled cheese sandwich...and someone stole my fucking grilled cheese .

can o life...

CAN O LIFE...do you consume it for nutrition...or rub it on your nipples ???

cups...

cups...they are as clean as you think they are .

next time...a song by dan fogelburg...

...next time you try to escape yourself...aim your penis in a different direction .

...the art of fucking...

fucking is more of a journey than a thing .

...give a fuck...

better not to give a fuck...than to give a fuck about the wrong things .

...masturbation club...

you never know exactly how popular you are in school...until you start the MASTURBATION CLUB .

the evasive can opener...

it is not that truth comes in a can that bothers me...what bothers me is that nobody can find a fucking can opener .

the small things...

just do the SMALL THINGS in front of you...and see where it gets you .

...your glass...

make sure your glass is not filled with STUPID .

...life begins...

...life begins when you refuse to bend over .

...an ounce of love...

maybe the universe has been here six billion years...because it takes that long to create an ounce of love .

sexually neurotic...

if you don't enter your religion sexually neurotic...you sure will leave sexually neurotic .

...when the sun...

...when the sun had her first period...the clouds wept .

...love and crap...

...you can never bull shit someone into love .

...sexual behaviour...

generic sexual behaviour...is bullshit .

...back in school...

back in school...every nine months...i would pay some kid 50 dollars to impregnate my sister...

...mom got really mad when she found out .

maybe sperm...

maybe sperm should come in multi colours .

grade 10 or so...

...i saw an old friend from high school the other day...i asked him if he still had that really big dick .

...joy...

joy is what happens when you prefer another to yourself .

...a beautiful life...

the more beautiful your life...the the more they will think you are hiding something .

...in a galaxy far , far away ...

in a galaxy far , far away...homosexuals are the only people god does approve of .

...the wave...

it is never the wave...but what the wave reveals .

make sure your destination...

...make sure your destination is real...

...gun fight...

never use UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...as a GUN FIGHT .

world's confusion...

before you attempt to eliminate all the word's confusion...remember...you might just end up balancing on a beer bottle .

peace and quiet...

...why is peace and quiet valued no more than a bucket of shit ???

your screwing...

may your screwing not lead you into a hole of despair .

discovering love...

every time love is discovered...there is another exit on the side of the road .

truth needs...

truth needs a haircut...and a road map .

the harbour of your soul...

you will spend your life sinking things or raising things up .

is your sex sex ???

dear ladies...if you were wondering what is really fucked up about guys...but you just couldn't place your finger on it...well , here it is : to your average male...POWER MEANS ERECTION .

...and i mean this in the nicest possible way .

...superman...

nobody can fuck up their life as fast as superman .

dumping you...

people have the weirdest ways of dumping you...strangely enough...a dump is not one of them .

...love changes direction...

...love changes direction...

...new t-shirt...

I LIVE BY THE BIBLE SO BLOW ME .

...murdering love...

the irony is that THE MONSTERS THAT MURDERED LOVE...demand a special place at the supper table .

...social cues...

SOCIAL CUES...learn them or STUPID your way into extinction .

love is...minus the puppy...

love is a reality show that is often no reality and all show .

...why did i take it all so seriously ???

i just can't help this feeling that , come the end of this whole thing...i will be laying down looking at the sky somewhere...wondering '' why did i take it all so seriously '' .

living in need...

...some people are better off in need...it is the only way they can live in balance .

...gone in 30 seconds...

you can travel a billion miles away from yourself  and never leave your ass hole .

...side of the road...

piss on the side of your road all you want...just don't forget to learn something while you travel it .

irony and theology...

the irony is...the more an idea is driven into your head...the less likely it is to be true .

...god's plan...

god's plan is love...all else is essentially hammers and nails .

you cannot stop...

you cannot stop love...nor godzilla...all else is questionable .

...pen holder...

do not confuse POCKET PUSSY...with a pen holder .

gone to shit...

self righteousness is how someone poorly rebuilds a broken personality .

god and pot...

if god were to smoke pot...would we see things differently ???

the size of the universe...( to the inch ) .

the universe is both big and small...it is : SMALB .

true love...

true love...nobody gets kicked in the balls .

...if it is real...

if it is real...it will work in any corner of our universe .

god's nick name...

i wonder if god has a nick name...and who gave it to him .

...the value of...

the value of a relationship...is equal to that of the love involved .

the road to prosperity...

it is not the prosperity...but the road to prosperity .

a neurosis...

...a neurosis is a hole in your heart...not to be confused with a hole in your ass .

...if you were my son...

...if you were my son...i wouldn't think that was funny...but since i don't know you...it is funny as shit .

be kind...

just in case you have not figured it out yet...calling world leaders names...makes nothing better .

loving life...

if you really love life...then don't say anything nasty behind its back .

love leads to perspective...

mr . gooboo ears...you say ''no''...he hears ''yes'' ...mr gooboo needs a tune-up .

screwie and such...

people are usually as screwie as the situation allows .

emotional intelligence...

emotional intelligence is like a pudding...that gets forgotten in the back of the fridge .

'' choose your mates carefully ''...

love is a rose...that sometimes spits poison...and cuts throats .

...your weakest moment...

you will be judged by your weakest moment...and if you do not have one...they will make one up .

...pocket pussy and world peace...

maybe POCKET PUSSY is not the secret for world peace...but it is still a lot better than most ideas .

bodies and nudests...

i am not against people covering up their bodies...but how does that work if you are a nudest ???

god...and the universe...

maybe god make the universe...just for a good cup of coffee .

...without love...

...freedom without love...is an open door to all kinds of shit .

the rope...

do not confuse the rope around your neck...with the tug on your heart .

every ass hole...

...every ass hole has its own little reality...and a special bonus mop to clean it off the floor .

before you decide to bitch...

all the criticism in the universe will not help you to have a better orgasm .

scales...get it ???

sometimes it seems that the SCALES OF JUSTICE...are glued upon a dead fish on the bottom of the lake .

doing nothing...

doing nothing...if done properly...can be a life changing experience .

...the further you are...

the further away you are...the further you is .

love and big foot...

your love should not be like big foot...you know ??? only happen when nobody's around .

...big foot...

...big foot is not a recluse...he just avoids idiots...and...if ''the shoe fits '' ...

survival...101

...and...remember...above all...do not say a fucking thing .

pray...do not prey...

when you pray...stay on the safe side...pray for what the postman deserves for screwing your wife .

truth and reality...

...every stage in life has an accompanying emotional and spiritual attitude...a true genius rises above this onto another plateau of truth and reality .

opinions are...

opinions are like ass holes... they are usually full of shit .

out of balance...

find out what is out of balance...write it down...and use it as your own personal stash of toilet paper .

...let the wind take you...

how do you get somewhere ??? sit on your ass and play with your bird .

big deal...

...almost everything is not  a BIG DEAL...you can tell a BIG DEAL...by the marks on your ass .

the remains...

suck the universe through your teeth...and what remains is love .