LOVING SOMEONE...

LOVING SOMEONE MORE THAN YOURSELF...KINDA IMPLIES YOU WOULDN'T SCREW AROUND ON THEM .

ROADS...JULY 25 2015

ROADS TWIST AND TURN...LIKE OUR MINDS...MAYBE THEY ARE OUR MINDS....AND MAYBE OUR MINDS ARE ROADS .

INTO THIS LIFE...

FORGIVE THOSE WHO STONED YOU...BUT NEVER FORGET...THE FUCKERS STONED YOU...

GREEDY BASTARD...

YOU CAN MAKE THINGS WORK WITHOUT THEM ACTUALLY WORKING...GREED RUNS THE ECONOMY RATHER WELL MOST OF THE TIME...LUST INSTEAD OF LOVE AND MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE...SEE WHAT I MEAN ???

SEXUAL CONFUSION...

IT IS NOT PEOPLE'S CONFUSION ABOUT THEIR SEXUALITY THAT FUCKS THEM UP...IT IS THEIR CONFUSION ABOUT THEIR CONFUSION THAT FUCKS THEM UP .

MINUTE BY MINUTE...

LOVE IS PAVED BY CONSTANT EVALUATION...MINUTE BY MINUTE .

GOD IS BIG...

MR . PORCUPINE...THE SLUG BY THE GARBAGE BUCKET...THE DEER...THE SKY...THE LAKE WHERE MY BROTHER DROWNED...THE GUN THAT MY FATHER BLEW HIS HEAD OFF WITH...ALL PART OF GOD'S WONDERFUL CREATION .

THINK ABOUT IT .

TRUTHINESS...

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT MOST BELIEF SYSTEMS HAPPEN OUT OF JUSTIFICATION OF BEHAVIOR ,TRADITION , LAZINESS , FEAR AND / OR FAMILY VALUES...SEEING BEYOND THESE THINGS INTO THE HEART OF THE MATTER...IS WHAT WE COMMONLY REFER TO AS...A MIRACLE .

THE PRAYING MANTIS...

WHEN I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD...I SAW A MOVIE ABOUT A PREYING MANTIS THAT WAS  200 FEET TALL AND LIKED TO PISS PEOPLE OFF...THEY KILLED HIM FOR THIS...BUT HE CAN REST ASSURED THAT EVEN IF HE HAD RAISED PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD...WE WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM ANYWAY .

LIFE IN A NUTSHELL...

ONCE YOU GET PAST THE IDEA OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY GROWING UP...LIFE BECOMES SO MUCH EASIER TO DEAL WITH .

THE SILVER LINING OF POVERTY...

IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD SOMETHING...THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY WHEN THEY DISCOVER IT TURNS A ROUND ASSHOLE SQUARE .

WHO ARE YOU ???

EVEN FROM ONE MILLION MILES AWAY...PEOPLE WILL RESPOND TO WHO YOU ARE...SO BEST TO FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT .

ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE...

ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WEAR A T-SHIRT WITH SOMETHING REALLY INTERESTING PRINTED ON IT...BUT YOU GIVE PEOPLE A PISSY LOOK WHEN THEY READ IT ???

...STOP IT !!!

START A TREND...

SELDOM IS IT HEARD..."YEA , THAT'S ME...I DID IT AND I'M FUCKING SORRY"...SO START A TREND !!!

BULLSHIT ARTIST...

A BULLSHIT ARTIST ISN'T REALLY AN ARTIST .

BEING A LIAR...

BEING A LIAR...IS A FULL TIME JOB .

LIFE IS SHORT...

"THE MEEK WILL INHERIT THE EARTH"...JUST AS SOON AS THE RICH FINISH SHITTING AND PISSING ALL OVER IT AND THEN SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY ESCAPE .

LIFE IS SHORT...LIVE NOW...GOD ONLY KNOWS IF THERE IS A TOMORROW .

GOD AND WATER...

LIQUID IS HEAVY...SO IS GOD...AND GOD CARRYING A BUCKET OF WATER...IS IMMENSE .

TAKE ENOUGH...BUT NOT TOO MUCH...

MONEY CAN BUY YOU A SHITTY ATTITUDE...STRANGELY ENOUGH...SO CAN NOT HAVING ANY .

RUN AWAY...

RUNNING AWAY AT THE FIRST SIGN OF SHIT...IS INSANITY...WAITING UNTIL THE LAST...PROBABLY WORSE .

A FRIEND...

A FRIEND IS A GIFT...NOT A GARBAGE DUMP .

BELIEVE IT OR NOT...

WHY IS THE NEWSPAPER ONLY FULL OF SHITTY NEWS ??? SIMPLE...IT BRINGS FEAR...AND FEAR MEANS ADRENALIN...AND ADRENALIN MEANS ADDICTION...WHICH , IN TURN...MEANS MONEY .

BELIEVE IT OR NOT...SOME GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN .

THE TESTICLE BROTHERS...

THE TESTICLE OF INTEGRITY SHOULD HANG JUST AS LOW AS THE TESTICLE OF SELFLESSNESS .

OWN PLANET...

UPON YOUR OWN PLANET......ONLY YOU CAN JUDGE YOU...AND YOU PROBABLY WILL .

BALANCE...

SOME PEOPLE TAKE TOO MUCH SHIT...OTHERS...NOT ENOUGH...AND VERY FEW HAVE IT BALANCED OUT .

BECOMING COMPLETELY REAL...

NOTHING CAN HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF MORE THAN PEOPLE...NOTHING CAN CONTRIBUTE TO YOU LOSING YOURSELF MORE THAN PEOPLE .

WEAKNESS REVEALS TRUE NATURE...

THE MEEK WILL INHERIT THE EARTH...BUT FIRST THEY WILL BE EATEN...AS THE POWER OF WEALTH REVEALS ALL KINDS OF SHIT .

MERCY AND FORGIVENESS...

LOVE BRINGS MERCY AND FORGIVENESS...IF NOT...BUY A SHOVEL AND START SHOVELING .

RELIGION AND SUCH...

WHEN A RELIGIOUS PERSON FUCKS UP...THEY HAVE TO BEND THEIR ENTIRE REALITY TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL...ANY OTHER PERSON CAN MAKE A CONFESSION...LIKE..."YUP , THAT'S ME...I FUCKED THE DOG "...AND GET ON WITH LIFE...SIMPLE .

RESULT...RELIGIOUS PERSON AGES TWICE AS FAST...OR THERE ABOUTS .

CRITICISM...

CRITICISM GROWS BEST...PLANTED INSIDE THE MIDDLE OF YOUR BRAIN .

SEXUAL PREFERENCE...

NOT MALE...NOT FEMALE...NOT MARTIAN...AND DEFINITELY NOBODY FROM SATURN...THE MOST COMMON SEXUAL PREFERENCE...ANYONE WHO WILL HATE THE LIVING SHIT RIGHT OUT OF YOU .


.HATE-SEXUAL..I BELIEVE THEY CALL IT .

SHIT PIE...

ANYONE CAN MAKE A SHIT PIE...BUT IT TAKES A REAL HERO TO SELL A TRUCKLOAD OF THEM AS BANANA CREAM .

THE IDIOT...

THE IDIOT HAS A CLEAR DESTINATION...JUST ASK HIS MORON FRIEND .

A LITTLE CONFIDENCE...

CONFIDENCE SHOULD NEVER BE A PRODUCT OF BLINDNESS .

LOVE AND FAMILY...

LOVE AND FAMILY...ALTER THE COURSE OF HISTORY .

THE SPIRITUAL TURD...

WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU SOMETHING...SQUINT...AND SEE IF YOU CAN PERCEIVE A SPIRITUAL TURD...GOING IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER .

MYTHOLOGY...

THE PURPOSE OF A MYTH IS NOT SO MUCH TO CONVEY AN HISTORICAL TRUTH...AS IT IS TO CONVEY A MESSAGE CONCERNING AN ASPECT OF THE HUMAN CONDITION OR POSITION IN THE UNIVERSE...SO NEXT TIME YOU HEAR A STORY ABOUT THE FOUR BREASTED TRIPLE HEADED POOP MONSTER LEADING ISRAEL ACROSS THE PLAINS OF HUDSON BAY...DO NOT TAKE IT SO FUCKING PERSONALLY .

FOOLING AROUND...

IF YOU THINK YOU CANNOT BE FOOLED...YOU HAVE BEEN FOOLED .

SEX , MONEY AND POWER...

RELIGION...AND A MOTORBIKE GANG...BOTH ABOUT SEX , MONEY AND POWER...GUESS WHICH ONE IS HONEST ABOUT IT ???

I AM BEING SARCASTIC...

IF THE DECISION YOU MAKE IS WRONG...DO THE SAME THING AGAIN...BUT HARDER .

TRUTH REARS ITS UGLY HEAD...

WE SPEND OUR ENTIRE LIFE...ERECTING THE STAGE FOR OUR DEMISE...IT JUST SEEMS LIKE WE ARE FEEDING THE CAT .

LOVE GONE BAD...

SHIT GONE BAD IS STILL SHIT...LOVE GONE BAD...DISRUPTS THE UNIVERSE .

MORAL COMPASS...

IF YOU ARE NOT CONSISTENTLY BEING REFERRED TO AS A FREAK...YOU ARE PROBABLY DOING SOMETHING WRONG .

THE BUMBLE BEE...

WHY IS THE BUMBLE BEE MY FAVORITE INSECT ??? BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE ONE...I AM REMINDED TO BEE CAREFUL .

VULNERABILITY...

IT IS O.K. TO BE VULNERABLE...AS LONG AS YOU DON'T MIND BEING BITTEN .

THE ART OF JUDGEMENT...

BEING JUDGMENTAL...IS NOT AN ART FORM .

FALLEN ANGEL...JULY 2015

SO THE TRUE LOVERS WENT OUT AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE WHO WAS NOT A LOVER...AND GOD LIT UP A JOINT .

EGO-OLOGY...JULY 2015

WHAT IS NOT US...YET WE CLAIM TO BE US...SOONER OR LATER...ENDS UP IN A FUCKING MESS .

ONLY IF YOU WANT IT...

YOUR DESTINY IS SHOVELED FOR YOU...YOUR DRIVEWAY YOU HAVE TO DO YOURSELF .

FOUR TO SIX YEARS...JULY 2015

WE SPEND THE FIRST SIX YEARS OF OUR LIVES BEING PROGRAMMED...AND THE NEXT 60 EITHER JUSTIFYING IT OR GETTING RID OF IT .

LETTING GO...AND SHIT

HOLD ON TO YOUR HOCKEY STICK...NOT THE SOUL OF ANOTHER .

LETTING GO IS NOT A DISEASE...

THE NEW "PURE AT HEART"...CONTROL AND LOTS OF IT .

DEFINITION OF IRONIC...

IRONICALLY...YOU CAN'T SEE SHIT WITH YOUR HEAD UP YOUR  ASS .

DONUT PEOPLE...

SEEING THROUGH PEOPLE MAKES US COMFORTABLE...IT IS WHAT WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF US .

BAT SHIT CRAZY...

BAT SHIT CRAZY...BETTER THAN CONTROLLING ASSHOLE...NOT AS GOOD AS MR . RACCOON .

BAT SHIT CRAZY...

WITH TWO HELPING T-SPOONS OF LOVE...BAT SHIT CRAZY IS BETTER THAN MOST OF THE ALTERNATIVES .

SEXUAL PREFERENCE...

IF IT FREAKS SOMEONE OUT WHEN YOU GUESS THEIR AGE...FORGET THEIR SEXUAL PREFERENCE .

YOUR OWN UNIVERSE...

IF LOVE DOESN'T RULE YOUR UNIVERSE...SOME ROTTEN PRICK WILL .

EATING SHIT...

EAT SHIT...AND EVENTUALLY YOU WILL GET TOO MUCH IN YOUR EYES .

PARADOX...

WHAT YOU DON'T SEE COMING...WATCH IT VERY CLOSELY .

FALL IN LOVE...

NEXT TIME YOU FALL IN LOVE...DON'T BREAK YOUR ANKLE .

NEW FORMS OF INTIMACY...PART 1

WHAT IS MORE INTIMATE...SEX...OR DRIVING SOMEONE TO THE AIRPORT ???

DEPENDS .

SPEAKING OUT...

ORIGINALLY...SPEAKING WAS NOT SO WE COULD HIDE FROM EACH OTHER .

BELIEF SYSTEM...

DO YOU BELIEVE BECAUSE IT IS CONVENIENT...OR BECAUSE IT IS TRUE ???

THE AVERAGE MARRIAGE...

ONE PERSON GOING FOR CONTROL...THE OTHER LETTING THEM .

DISCOVERY...

YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW SOMEONE UNTIL YOU TAKE A BITE OUT OF THEIR CULTURE...EVEN IF YOU THROW IT BACK UP .

L.O.V.E.

LOVE...SHAKES EVERYTHING TO PIECES...OR BRINGS IT ALL TOGETHER...DEPENDING UPON THE STATE OF YOUR HEART .

GOLD...

NEXT TIME YOU GET IN SHIT...DON'T REFER TO IT AS BROWN GOLD...IT DOESN'T HELP .

HARMLESS...

THE SECOND BEST FUNCTIONING COMMUNITY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE WAS A CLASS " A " TENNIS CIRCUIT... AND WHY DO YOU THINK THIS HAPPENED ??? SIMPLE...EVERYONE WAS GATHERED FOR A RELATIVELY HEALTHY MOTIVE...HIT BALLS OVER A FUCKING NET...YOU REALLY CAN'T GET A WHOLE LOT MORE DOCILE THAN THAT .

DEAD RACOONS...

BLOW UP DEAD RACCOONS...NOT RELATIONSHIPS .

POWER...

THE PEOPLE LEAST LIKELY TO HARM OTHERS...ARE THE ONES WHO DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO DO IT .

LOVE IS A LEARNED ART ...

BEGIN LOVE SLOWLY...LIKE...MAYBE A GOLD FISH...THEN MAYBE A CAT...THEN A POODLE...AND THEN POSSIBLY A SASQUATCH .

THE SUB CONSCIENCE MIND...

PICK A FIGHT WITH SOME POOR DUMMY AND RELIVE YOUR CHILDHOOD...THE BEST PART...YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT .

EASILY OFFENDED...

IF LOVE IS " NOT EASILY OFFENDED "...AND RELIGION IS NOTHING BUT "EASILY OFFENDED"...THEN WHAT IN THE FUCK SHOULD WE DO WITH IT ???

SUCK LIFE...

IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO CHEW AND SWALLOW...WHY PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH IN THE FIRST PLACE ???

WE SEE THE UNIVERSE AS WE ARE...

A WALL TO THIS APARTMENT BEGAN TO POUND...AND EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS RELATIVE TO THEIR OWN LITTLE CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE...YOU KNOW ... A GHOST...A RAT...SOME TYPE OF SEXUAL THING ...WHATEVER .

AND THE NEXT TIME...IT WILL BE EXACTLY THE SAME .

FUCK OFF...

IT TAKES MORE MUSCLES TO LIE THAN IT DOES TO POLITELY TELL SOMEONE TO FUCK OFF .

BAD DOG...

MY BROTHER CAME HOME BLEEDING...BIT BY A DOG...MY FATHER WENT INTO THE BASEMENT...GRABBED A BASEBALL BAT...GAVE IT TO HIM...AND SAID..." NOW , SON...YOU GO SHOW THAT FUCKING DOG WHO IS BOSS "...

...HUMMMM...MAYBE A DOG BISCUIT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE EFFECTIVE .

THE NATURE OF THE BEAST...JULY 2015

DID YOU EVER WONDER WHY SPERM KNOW EXACTLY WHICH WAY TO GO...AND WE DON'T ???

FEAR-OLOGY...

ACT OUT OF FEAR...AND GET THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU WANT JUST ABOUT EVERY TIME .

ROLL IN SHIT FOR LOVE...

YOU MAY ROLL IN SHIT FOR LOVE...BUT DOES SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU REALLY WANT YOU TO ROLL IN SHIT ???

LOVE HAS MORE TO DO...

LOVE HAS MORE TO DO WITH GOD'S COSMIC GAME BOARD THAN YOUR SWEATY NUTS .

RELAX...LIFE WILL HAPPEN BETTER IF YOU JUST FUCK OFF .

DEATH...

IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE WHEN YOU DIE...MAKE SURE YOU ARE ACTUALLY HERE FIRST .

CONTROL BLUES...

COUNT HOW MANY WAYS CONTROL IS PAINTED UPON THE TIP OF A SHOE THAT WE SHOVE UP THE UNSUSPECTING ASS OF ANOTHER .

TRUTH AS A WEAPON...JULY 2015

DEFINITION OF GENIUS : THINKING YOU NEED SOMETHING AND ACTUALLY NEEDING IT .

EXCUSES...

IF YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE EXCUSES...THEN HOW COME THERE ARE GOOD ONES AND BAD ONES ???

TWO THINGS THAT FUCK PEOPLE UP...

THERE ARE TWO THINGS THAT FUCK PEOPLE UP...BEING RIGHT AND BEING WRONG...SO DON'T BE AFRAID TO SIT HOME AND WATCH A MOVIE ONCE IN A WHILE .

WHAT IS LIFE ???

WHAT IS LIFE ??? DOING SHIT UNTIL YOU CAN'T DO IT ANY MORE .

KNOW YOUR ENEMIES...

WHILE ON YOUR ROAD...DO NOT MISTAKE SQUIRRELS FOR LEOPARDS...OR THE OTHER  WAY AROUND .

NUDITY AND THE PIZZA DELIVERY GUY...

YOU CAN LEARN SOMETHING FROM ANYONE...LIKE , FROM MY MENTALLY CHALLENGED FRIEND I LEARNED...NEVER GREET THE PIZZA DELIVERY GUY NAKED .

FALSE INTEGRITY

FALSE INTEGRITY IS WHAT YOU NEED TO SURVIVE IN THIS UNIVERSE    ...INTEGRITY...SO PEOPLE CAN IDENTIFY WITH SOMETHING  OF NOBEL CHARACTER...AND FALSE...SO THEY WILL NOT IN ANY WAY , SHAPE OR FORM HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT .

TOGETHER...ONE MORE TIME...WHAT DO YOU NEED TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD ??? FALSE INTEGRITY !!!

WALK ON WATER...

IF YOU EVER WALK ON WATER...IT WILL BE AGAINST THE CURRENT ...( ALL GREAT THINGS HAPPEN AGAINST THE CURRENT) .

RUTHLESS PEOPLE...JULY 4 2015

IT IS GOOD TO WIPE YOUR ASS...EVEN BETTER TO WIPE YOUR HEART .

RUN AWAY...JULY 2015

THE LESS WE KNOW WHAT WE ARE RUNNING FROM...THE FASTER WE GO .

THE TELEVANGELIST...

THE TELEVANGELIST SAYS GRACE BEFORE HE AND HIS FAMILY DINE ON HUMAN STEAK AND MASHED POTATOES WITH EXTRA GRAVY .

LIVE ON ARRIVAL...JULY 2015

SOMETIMES NEEDS ARE AS DEEP AS A WELL...BUT USUALLY THEY ARE DEEPER .

AVERAGE DAY AT THE SANCTUARY...

THIS DUDE WALKS INTO THIS BIBLE STUDY WITH A GUN...SAYS HE IS GONNA PURGE THE WORLD OF SIN AND OPEN FIRES...MAKING A LONG STORY SHORT...HE BLOWS HIS FUCKING LEG RIGHT OFF .

THING IS...METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING...JUST A TYPICAL CHURCH SERVICE .

WE ALL NEED PERSONAL BOUNDARIES...

FUCK-OFF COULD MEAN MANY THINGS...LIKE...FOR EXAMPLE...FUCK-OFF .

MOTIVATIONS AND SUCH...

DOES YOUR DOG EAT SHIT BECAUSE HE IS STUPID...OR BECAUSE HE WANTS TO LICK YOUR FACE ???

MOTIVES ARE IMPORTANT .

INVESTMENT PLAN...

INVEST IN LOVE...NOT CANNIBALISM .

WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS PREACH AGAINST THE THINGS THEY ENJOY THE MOST ???

I WENT TO THIS CHURCH AND ALL THEY WOULD EVER TALK ABOUT WAS THE EVIL OF SUCKING A PENIS...( YOU KNOW...THAT AND HOCKEY )...ANYWAY...AFTER YEARS OF THIS KIND OF TALK...EVENTUALLY , ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS HAVING A BIG FAT ONE IN MY MOUTH...WHO WOULDN'T ???

IF I EVER TRY IT AGAIN...I WILL TRY BLUEBERRY FLAVOR . 
  

TAKE OR BEING GIVEN TO...APRIL 9 2011

LOVE MAY BE A RIVER...BUT NOBODY CARES WHY THE DEVIL IS SMOKING A JOINT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CURRENT .

LET'S MAKE A DEAL...

LOVE IS NOT A DEAL...BUT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS .

SEXOLOGY...

IF WE CAN JUST FUCK UP OUR PERCEPTION OF HUMAN SEXUALITY...THE REST OF OUR PSYCHOLOGY WILL HAPPILY FALL INTO LINE .

SICK , ISN'T IT ???

THE IRONY IS THAT YOU ARE PUNISHED FOR BEING A LOVING INDIVIDUAL...MY THEORY GOES LIKE THIS : IF YOU ARE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT WOULD ACTUALLY GIVE A KIDNEY TO A FRIEND...THEN THE ONUS IS UPON YOU TO ONLY HAVE FRIENDS THAT MERIT SUCH A FAVOR...OTHERWISE...SOME UNDESERVING FUCK-HEAD COULD VERY WELL END UP KICKING A COCKER SPANIEL WITH YOUR FUCKING KIDNEY...SICK , ISN'T IT !!!

GODZILLA...

IF PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL...HOW COME EVERY TIME GODZILLA CHASES THEM IN THE MOVIES...THEY RUN IN THE SAME DIRECTION ???

HAVE FUN...

THE UNIVERSE IS THE SAME SIZE AS YOUR IMAGINATION...AND THE JOURNEY FOR TRUTH INSIDE BOTH IS EXACTLY THE SAME .

HAVE FUN .

TWO MODES OF EXISTANCE...

IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU ARE AGGRESSIVE OR A "SUCK-UP"...WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR POSITION IN THE UNIVERSE .

FUCK-A-LEE-DUCK-DUCK

WHEN EVERYTHING EVERYONE SAYS AND DOES OFFENDS YOU...THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE GONE...FUCK-A-LEE-DUCK-DUCK .

BEING YOUR FRIEND...

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOES NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND...DOES NOT MAKE THEM AN ASSHOLE .

BETTER DEAL...1989

THE FACT THAT YOU ARE UNAWARE OF THE CROCODILE SITUATION...DOES NOT MAKE SWIMMING IN THE LAKE A BETTER DEAL .

PRAY FOR LOVE...

YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO SCARE PEOPLE INTO BEING OPEN MINDED AND KIND...BUT THEN THEY WILL FUCKING HATE YOU FOR IT .

SEX AND GHOSTS...

I SAY THE PLACE IS HAUNTED...YOU THINK THERE ARE PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN THE OTHER ROOM AND THAT IS WHAT I AM HEARING...HUMMM...COULD BE...BUT THEY HAVE BEEN HAVING SEX FOR FIVE DAYS NON-STOP .

BIBLE COLLEGE...PART 1

THIS YOUNG MAN JUMPS UP OUT OF HIS CHAIR AND PUTS HIS ASS IN FRONT OF BIBLE COLLEGE...HE POINTS TO THIS OTHER SOD AND SAYS..."GOD TOLD ME TO TELL YOU...HE IS GOING TO BEAT YOU WITH A BIG STICK " .

THE BEST LAUGH I HAD ALL FUCKING YEAR .

MASTURBATION...

MASTURBATION IS LIKE LOOKING INTO THE OCEAN...OR UP AT THE CLEAR BLUE SKY...WHAT YOU SEE IS A REFLECTION OF WHO YOU ARE .

GOD'S GREATEST IDEAS...

GOD'S GREATEST IDEAS...SPANIELS...EUROPEAN BEER...AND ONE TESTICLE LOWER THAN THE OTHER .

SOMETIMES THE ROAD...

SOMETIMES THE ROAD BECOMES A HORSES ASS...AND WE HAVE TO STOP AND TAKE A DRINK  AND THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS .

THE GOOD REVEREND...

DOES THE GOOD REVEREND EVER SAY TO  HIS CONGREGATION..." I WISH I WERE AT HOME FIDDLING WITH MY NUTS " .

AND DO THEY UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A PERFECTLY NATURAL RESPONSE TO THE PRESSURES OF LIFE ???

THE DUCK FUCKER...

IF YOU FUCK A DUCK...YOU ARE NOT AN ENVIRONMENTALIST...YOU ARE A DUCK FUCKER .

LIFE IS...

LIFE IS TOO LONG FOR...THE VERY THING IT IS TOO SHORT FOR...BITTERNESS .

MORE THAN AN EMOTION...

LOVE IS ACTUALLY A VERY SPECIFIC PATH...AND EVERY TIME YOU STRAY...YOU POTENTIALLY LOSE A PORTION OF THE TRUTH YOU WERE TO EMBRACE .

LETTERS TO A FRIEND...

PEOPLE ARE MORE INTUITIVE THAN THEY THINK...THING IS...THEY ARE ALSO MORE LUSTFUL THAN THEY THINK...END RESULT...THEY ARE LEFT THOROUGHLY CONFUSED...KNOWING SOMETHING IS GOING DOWN...BUT NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT...LUV STU

FUCKING UP...

I AM ALL FOR PEOPLE FUCKING UP AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT...BUT WHEN FUCKING UP BECOMES A LIFE LONG OCCUPATION...AND THEY ARE PROUD OF IT...THE RULES CHANGE .

SOCK-OLOGY

IF YOU ARE WEARING YOUR SOCKS...YOU ARE NOT NAKED .

WAIT IT OUT...

LOVE WORKS IN SLOW MOTION.

SPIRITUAL MATURITY...

SPIRITUAL MATURITY...IS NOT LEARNING HOW TO BULLSHIT .